What is the true issue with child support?

[Justneedtokno]

This is the breakdown,
The man and woman both don’t do not want to be together. They decide to go through with the pregnancy.
The child lives primarily with the mother. The custodial parent.
The father has access to the child. But has not been around. The father has all the phone numbers school information but has not been around.

Now the child is getting older These are get expenses for the mother and want to place the father on child support.

Where is the issue?

Updates

1 y

History some backstory to this scenario. The mother was working living on her on and the father was also. They meet dated but determined it wasn’t not a match but unplanned pregnancy. Fast forward wanted to be co parent, but by nature she have the baby she breast-fed the child was sent home with her. There were no courts until the point of her having hard time due to savings and maternity leave being over.

[phraseology]

The problem is "The child lives primarily with the mother. The custodial parent." You steal his kid and then expect him to pay you money for stealing a family member. What are you some Columbia cartel member? I'm pretty sure if I started stealing people's family members and then started demanding ransom on a monthly basis to insure they stay alive, most governments would try to put me in prison for a log time, but for some reason women think this is normal behavior. Sick people.

[Justneedtokno]

Who said anything about stealing the child just lives with the mom because after they left the hospital that’s where the child ended up because remember these people were living separately in two different households. They were both individuals.

[phraseology]

Make whatever excuses you want. At the end of the day you kidnapped someone's family member and you want to hold them random for monthly payments. If a couple can't get along and wants a divorce, the kid is still a family member of both parents, and should spend equal time with both parents. Neither parent should pay the other parent a random to keep their child alive. Both parents should contribute to raising the child and spend equal time with the kid. When the kid is with a particular parent, then the financial responsibility falls on the hosting parent. Otherwise you are just holding someone's family member hostage and extorting them on a regular basis on the premise of keeping the child alive. That's racketeering...

[phraseology]

Women come up with the most twisted excuses. The same goes for abortion. You are murdering someone's relative because you feel like it, but you dehumanize their family member and call it a "clump of cells". You feminists have no concept of morality.

[Justneedtokno]

You have to think if one party doesn’t want to participate in being a parent then you can’t force anybody to be in the child’s life.

[phraseology]

So then what is your obsession with "child support" if you can't "force them". That's exactly what you are doing, being a tyrant.

[phraseology]

You are talking out of both sides of your mouth at the same time.

[Anonymous]

What happened to strong independent women? Strong n independent u til she pops out a kid. That’s on her for picking a scumbag. I don’t get why they just don’t give the children to the father. Men almost always never ask for child support cause it means having to deal w the ex less.

[Justneedtokno]

If the guy is a scum why would you leave an innocent child with him?

A woman is strong and capable but you also think she has a dependent now. And when somebody agrees to be a coparent, the definition is in the word.

[Opinion Owner]

Well obviously he didn’t agree to co-parent. In this situation no I wouldn’t leave the child w the father. But a lot of times the child always goes to the mom even if she is a nut case. Again men usually don’t need support from the mom financially. I know I never did. But why is it that women always seem to want child support? I think to a lot of women that child is just a paycheck.

[Justneedtokno]

Now that I’m old enough to understand there are multiple sides. And mainly whatever is best for the child is the right thing to do always.

One you have the mother that in this situation, she was doing everything on her own. They did agree to be coparent in the beginning and it didn’t turn out that way now she’s seeking help

Two there’s a side where women will just do everything and let the child one day grow up and seek the parent for themselves. Never keeping that child away from them. They just do everything by themselves. I kind of favor this.

Third there are some men that do everything in their power to be there to be in their children’s lives even share seasons and days and coparent

Fourth there are some guys that only give money and believe that that’s being a part of their children’s life not actually being in their life

Fifth, there are some women that will use the child against the father to keep their relationship together, which I absolutely hate but it happens. There are some women like that. And even rare occasions that men do the same thing.

We haven’t even gotten to the portions of are the families involved with helping the these parents take care of these grandchildren or their support system

[Opinion Owner]

That’s life things don’t always go as planned. If he doesn’t want anything g to do w the child then move on. Amazing how women don’t want men to have a say in reproductive rights but expect men to still be financially responsible if she keeps it.

[Justneedtokno]

I think this all depends on who you’re actually with. In this scenario, they chose to go through with being parents and even coparent. The man did not show up.

Well, the portion about reproductive rights if we’re looking at this scenario, if he doesn’t want to be a parent, then she should have the option to have access to medical care

And I can only speak for myself. I think it’s all up for communication with your partner.

[Opinion Owner]

So is this about you as far as having a child?

[Justneedtokno]

Yes, and no, I was having a discussion with a friend and then it got me thinking.

[Opinion Owner]

I see. When you say yes you mean yes you have a child?

[Justneedtokno]

Yes, I was referring to myself. No, this isn’t my situation. I do not have a child. Yet

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Well hopefully that doesn’t happen to you if you ever have a child.

[Justneedtokno]

Thanks I appreciate it. I hope for the best as well.

[Opinion Owner]

What’s your situation?

[Agape93]

The true issue is usually guys not being responsible, he doesn't want the kid and they can't afford an abortion or plan b or she wants it and he doesn't, and so has to pay for the child's welfare if he's not in the kids life.

[In_Trance]

The issue is that in 100% of the cases the funds are not used for the child but used for the mother.
If they were used solely for the child any excess funds left at the end of the month would hypothetically be invested in trust for the child in the future. That never happens.

Furthermore I can't understand why custody is awarded to a mother if she can't afford to look after herself let alone a child.
The laws are fucked up as are the judicial rulings.

[Justneedtokno]

The thing is, no one made her the custodial parent, but by nature she have the baby she breast-fed the child was sent home with her.

[AviatorTom]

Child support is usually from the time a child is born... if the parents are not together. Considering she didn't ask for child support then, why would she be asking for it now?

[msc545]

Why wouldn't she be asking for it now when she realizes she can get money? She's going to go for it just like every other woman does.

[msc545]

The issue is in making the mother the "custodial parent". This happens far too often and the father is often deprived from access to his child.

[Justneedtokno]

The thing is, no one made her the custodial parent, but by nature she have the baby she breast-fed the child was sent home with her

[msc545]

You are wrong about this. Some judge with a whole 3 years of law school decided he knew best and sent the baby home with the mother. This happens all the time and men get screwed as a result.

[Justneedtokno]

In this scenario, this isn’t a custody battle so I may have worded this wrong, but just because a court decides that the child is going to primarily stay at home when the child was already doesn’t mean that men are screwed and they can’t go see the child or you’re not able to show up and do things for your own child.

There are men out there that have full access to their children and chose not to go see them

[msc545]

Women pull this crap to get full custody and all the money they can and do NOT let the father see the child.

[Justneedtokno]

You’re not even reading what I just wrote. I just said it’s not a custody battle. The other parent has full access to the child.

[msc545]

Yeah the other parent has full Access to the child until the woman changes her mind about that, in which case he no longer has access. Good luck. Never getting it again. You act like when you say something it automatically constitutes The irrevocable truth. It doesn't and I've told you this before and you can't seem to fucking hear it.

[Justneedtokno]

that’s all hypothetical and illegal

[msc545]

Not illegal in the US.