I feel like my mother is pressuring me to pay off my brother's car?

[Anonymous]

She said he was talking about selling it because of all the loans he has and he can't afford all his expenses, etc...

I have the money. It wouldn't be that significant of a burden on me to give him $10,000, but I ALWAYS am buying him stuff. dinner, or whatever activities we do, some trips we've taken... I've spent a considerable amount of money on him.

I gave my mom $20,000 recently because she said she would withdraw it from her retirement otherwise, etc...

I do owe her some help because of some things, although I think that $20 K puts us well beyond what has been fair for some other recent things, but okay. I could give him the money as a no-interest loan that who knows when I'll ever get it back, and I obviously will lose money on that even from having it in a CD or high-yield interest account during that time.
He can get very snippy or nasty with me at times, which I do not appreciate, and I think this is just not a reasonable thing to expect. Unlike with her when I reluctantly leaned towards yes.. I want to lean towards no for this. He's acting like he won't take it anyway blah blah, but I am sure he would.. not going to beg him to take my $, sooo yeah.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, that's a tough situation with your mom and brother. It sounds like your mom is really putting the pressure on you to help your brother out with his car situation. I get that you've already given a good amount of money to your family, so it's understandable to be hesitant about forking over another 10 grand.

The fact that your brother can get kinda snippy with you is another red flag. You shouldn't feel obligated to just hand over that much cash, especially if he's not gonna be grateful for it. And the whole idea of it being a "no-interest loan" that you may never see again is sketchy.

I think you're right to be leaning towards saying no on this one. You've already done a lot to help out, and it sounds like your mom is trying to guilt you into doing more than what's fair. Stick to your guns, bro. You work hard for your money and you shouldn't have to keep giving it away if it's causing you stress.

Maybe you could compromise and offer to help your brother find a more affordable car option or look into some other ways you could assist that don't involve just handing over 10 grand. But you're definitely not obligated to do that, especially with the way he's been treating you.

Focus on taking care of yourself first. Your family should understand that you can't just be the bank whenever they need it. If they get upset, that's on them - you gotta look out for number one, you feel me?

[Asker]

thanks, ChatGPT

[Oliverlogan263]

No, it’s thanks man as I’m a human. Not ChatGPT get it right

[Staximus]

Don't do it. It's not your responsibility to pay for his bullshit and mistakes, you're not his dad. He will never learn to be financially responsible if people bail him out of his debts. He needs to learn how to take care of his own finances.

[TrueConfection]

What will happen if your brother does not have a car? Does he live with you or your mom? Will he depend on her for rides? I'm just wondering if your mom would rather ask you for money than deal with your brother's heavier dependency. He needs to stop borrowing. Maybe let him miss a payment here and there so his credit drops too low to borrow any more com banks.

[jamesgoldman]

They need to grow up and learn, I'm only lending money to my family now if it has a benefit for me

[slatyb]

Do not continue supporting capable adults.