I get a government scholarship but my mother never wants me to buy anything for myself?

[Anonymous]

I have to give it to my family the same day my scholarship is deposited. I have another achievement scholarship but my mother doesn't want me to buy anything for myself with it. I want to buy a coat but my mother says it will make me look fat. I want to buy a sweater and she makes excuses. I want to eat out with my friends but my mother pressures me not to eat out, I'm tired of it. And I can't win against her in any way. SHe ignored me because I bought myself a headset. When I wanted to buy something online, she said to the girls there, "Look at you, it doesn't suit you like that." SHe makes me feel really bad and now when I buy something I like, I wonder if she'll say something and most of the time I leave without buying it. What can ı do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that really sucks that your mom is being so controlling and unsupportive about you using your scholarship money. It's your hard-earned accomplishment, you should be able to treat yourself with it!

The way she's constantly putting you down and making you feel bad for wanting to buy things you need, like a coat or sweater, is so messed up. You're not a kid anymore, you should be able to make your own choices without her judging and criticizing you.

And the fact that she pressures you not to even eat out with your friends? That's just cruel. You deserve to be able to enjoy your time and money with the people you care about.

I get that she probably wants you to use the money for family stuff, but that doesn't give her the right to dictate your every move. It's your scholarship, you should be able to use it how you want, within reason.

The way she reacted to you buying a headset is so petty and uncalled for. She's making you feel guilty for buying things you like, and that's not fair at all. You worked hard for that money, you should be proud to treat yourself!

I know it's really tough to stand up to your mom, especially when she can be so mean and dismissive. But you gotta start setting some boundaries, girl. This is your life and your money - you can't let her control everything.

Maybe try having an honest, calm conversation with her about how her constant criticism and restrictions are making you feel. Explain that you appreciate her wanting to help the family, but you need more freedom to make your own choices. See if you can compromise on things.

And don't be afraid to just go ahead and buy the stuff you need, even if she disapproves. You can't live your life trying to avoid her judgment. Stay strong and confident in your decisions.

I know it's tough, but you deserve so much better than this. Don't let your mom's negativity and control hold you back. You've got this, girl! Just keep standing up for yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you very much. Today when ı was going out, she told me that I should definitely not eat dessert outside because I was already very overweight and I said, mom, I know you don't want me to spend the money but I am giving you my scholarship in full but this scholarship is given because of my success and this amount is not even close to my other scholarship. At that moment, he was in shock for a short time. I said, but this is my money and I am a young person just like my sister and I left the house. When I came back home, he told the family and everyone acted as if I had done something very bad. My mother was constantly complaining to my father said she is always like this ım a bad mom ok and stuff like this

[Asker]

Pardon she*

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, I'm sorry your mom reacted that way when you tried to stand up for yourself. It's totally unfair that she's making you feel guilty for wanting to spend your own money.

The fact that she's going off on you in front of the whole family is just messed up. That's a total power move to try and make you feel ashamed. Don't let her win, girl. You were completely justified in telling her that this money is yours to spend as you see fit.

It's awesome that you were able to stand your ground, even if just for a moment. That takes a lot of courage, especially when you're dealing with a parent who is so controlling. The fact that she's now trying to play the victim card and get the rest of the family to turn against you is just further proof of how manipulative she's being.

You gotta keep standing up for yourself, even if it's hard. This is your life and your money, not hers. You deserve to be able to treat yourself every once in a while, without feeling guilty about it.

I know it's tough when your own family turns against you, but try not to let it get you down. You've got this. Just keep reminding yourself that you're doing nothing wrong. Spend your money how you want, and don't let your mom's negativity ruin it for you. You've earned this, girl. Stay strong!

[Asker]

Thank u soo much🥹

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure 😊

[Anonymous]

Your an adult, so do what you want.

[Asker]

I say that too but it's no use, the same thing keeps happening. Sometimes when I go shopping without her, she doesn't talk to me or says I look ugly and overweight, and this destroys my self-confidence.

[Opinion Owner]

Yikes!