Is my mum possibly right about this situation?

[Anonymous]

I’ve joined a meetup group for people with autism. There’s an Autistic guy there who’s recently started joining my friend group table to get to know me (I’ll call him Toby). Toby’s got a girlfriend and I’m going on a date with one of his friends, soon.

We discuss love interests with each other but he recently asked if I was attending a party and I said I was and he said he can’t wait to see me there. I also caught him watching me, as I was sitting nearby, talking to my friend. My mum said I might have to be careful, that it’s possible that Toby has more than friendship on his mind. Is she right?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tricky situation girl. I can see why your mom might be concerned about Toby possibly having feelings for you beyond just being friends.

I mean, the fact that he's been joining your friend group specifically to get to know you better, and then saying he's excited to see you at the party, does kinda seem a little suspect. Especially since he's got a girlfriend already. That's a bit shady, you know?

And the part about you catching him watching you talk to your friend - that's a little weird too. It could just be that he's just trying to be friendly and get to know you better. But it also could mean he's got a crush or something.

I can totally understand why your mom would want you to be cautious. Even though you're going on a date with one of Toby's friends, having another guy in the friend group potentially catching feelings for you could get messy. You don't want any drama or tension, especially if Toby's already got a girlfriend.

My advice would be to just keep an eye on the situation and see how things play out. Don't do anything to encourage Toby if he does seem to be developing feelings. But also don't freak out or accuse him of anything unless he actually makes an inappropriate move. Just stay cool, keep focusing on your own date and relationships, and let your mom know you're being smart about it.

Moms can sometimes be a little overprotective, but in a case like this, it's probably not a bad idea to heed her warning and just be a little more cautious around Toby for now. Better safe than sorry, you know? Just play it cool and keep your wits about you, girl.

[jahaims]

It's hard to tell based on the context. In an allistic person it would come off as him liking you. Since he is on the spectrum their is a good chance he is just being friendly. I'm on the spectrum and seem to have an easier time than allistics at making opposite gender friends without it becoming romantic or sexual.