How do you feel about people who go through terminal diseases and only tell their immediate family?

[beenherebefore]

So this happened in my family not too long ago and I feel that some of my family members are overreacting. My Dad's cousin was diagnosed with a cancer and decided to only tell her immediate family, as in her partner, kids, sister, nieces and nephew, however, she didn't inform the other side of the family and that includes aunts, uncles, cousins etc. I do understand and respect wanting to keep your medical condition private and not wanting to deal with other people's emotions and feelings while you're already going through a lot. But my dad and aunt fail to understand that and took as 'they hid it from us' and they only got to know one or two months before she passed away. I personally feel that if I was in the same situation as my cousin I would probably keep it just for me and my Husband. All my family live 8H away from me by airplane is not like if something happens to me they can come and make things easier as they're not financially able to so why put an extra burden on them? Also people tend to get overly emotional and give unsolicited opinions when you're already going through a lot. Am I wrong to think this way?

[Nikki1989]

I guess they are shielding friends and extended family from emotional pain. They may want to control the narrative and the support they receive, focusing it on those closest to them. I can understand why they take that approach.

[beenherebefore]

Me too and I respect that I don't see anything wrong with that and I wouldn't feel upset if a close friend of mine or a close relative dealt with it that way. Sometimes older people can have a very limited way of thinking.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't tell my family, full stop

[beenherebefore]

How would you respond when they start telling you that you should've told them and that they don't understand why you hid it from them?

[Opinion Owner]

I'll be dead so unless it's at a seance