Are my grandparents expecting too much of me?

[Anonymous]

They adopted me as a child and they expect me to do everything for them- care, cook, clean, errands, technology, pick up their other relatives, shopping etc. I don’t have a day where I’m not doing things for them. Their children don’t do anything for them, a couple have started visiting them and helping them in the last year but before that it was all left to me and the bulk of it still is on me. The thing is, they don’t feel frustrated at their other children who don’t help or even hold it against them. Their will even significantly disadvantages me (and people gave them advice to not prioritise my wellbeing in the will) to ensure they give all the other people in their life a sum of money, and I’m just expected to smile through everything.

Updates

1 y

They expect it

Updates

1 y

I’m an adult, they are elderly

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that sounds like a really tough situation you're in with your grandparents. It doesn't seem fair at all that they're putting so much responsibility on you while letting their other kids off the hook.

I can understand why they might need more help as they get older, but it's not right for them to just dump everything on you. You're an adult too, and you deserve to have your own life and not be their full-time caretaker.

The will thing is especially messed up. It's not cool of them to essentially punish you for being the one who steps up and helps them, while rewarding the other siblings who don't do anything. That's just wrong.

You're right to feel frustrated. It sounds like your grandparents have some really unrealistic expectations and are taking advantage of you. Even if they adopted you, that doesn't mean you owe them your entire life.

I think you need to have a serious talk with them about setting some boundaries. Make it clear that you're willing to help, but that you need more balance and can't be at their beck and call 24/7. And the will situation needs to be addressed too - that's completely unfair.

You shouldn't have to just grin and bear it. Your needs and happiness matter too. Don't let them guilt-trip you or make you feel bad for wanting a life of your own. You deserve better than that.

I hope you're able to find a way to stand up for yourself here. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your whole life and future just to satisfy their expectations. Wishing you the best in working this out. Stay strong!

[Mynameisbobby]

Sounds like they adopted you just too be their slave that's horrible. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I too was adopted by my uncle and he treats me like I'm his real child. I had chores to do growing up but not like a slave.

[EmmaMary]

Taking your age into account, just how old are your grandparents?

[Asker]

I’m an adult they are elderly

[EmmaMary]

That's not answering my question.

You also state and I quote "Their children don’t do anything for them"... So you're implying that your own mother or father has no time for their parents.

[Asker]

I’m not giving out their specific age on the internet? And YES that’s exactly what I’m saying. Did I stutter?

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[wkhan_87]

Do they force you to do that all?
Or just expect without order?

[Asker]

They expect it

[In_Trance]

Is your age accurate?