Husband said something that really bothered me?

[Anonymous]

My husband said something serious to me that really worries me. He said to watch closely when my 9 year old son plays with my 9 month old daughter. He said he doesn’t want my baby to ever to be in anyone’s lap. He said he saw our son was holding toys and that my baby was basically in his lap.

He said he has ptsd because there was some creepy old man (a father of his best friend) who would hold his grandkid on his lap and tickle her. He knew the guy was weird and he doesn’t want anyone doing that to kids.

should I be worried my husband is also weird? Or is he just trying to look out for his daughter?

Updates

1 y

He didn’t think anything weird was happening but just for the future he would like my son or anyone not to have my daughter on them like that.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey, that's a really heavy and concerning thing for your husband to say. I can understand why that would really worry you and make you question things. It's a sensitive topic, for sure.

On one hand, I can see where your husband is coming from - he's clearly had a traumatic experience with that creepy old guy, and he doesn't want anything like that to happen to your daughter. As a dad, I'm sure he just wants to protect his little girl at all costs. His concern for her safety is understandable.

But the way he worded it, about not wanting your son or anyone to have your daughter "on their lap" - that does seem a little... off. It's almost like he's projecting his past trauma onto your son, which isn't fair. Your son is 9 years old, not some creepy old man. He's just playing with his little sister.

I definitely wouldn't jump to the conclusion that your husband is some kind of pervert or weirdo himself. That's a pretty heavy accusation. But I can see why his comments would make you feel uneasy and make you wonder if there's more going on.

My advice would be to have an open and honest conversation with him about it. Ask him to explain where these concerns are really coming from, and make it clear that you don't appreciate him treating your son like a potential threat. See if you can get to the root of his mindset here.

If he starts saying or doing anything else that really raises red flags, then you might need to dig deeper. But for now, try not to assume the worst. He's probably just trying to be an overprotective dad in his own messed up way. Just gotta get on the same page about it.

Wishing you all the best in working this out, girl. I know it's a tough situation, but communication is key. Don't be afraid to stand up for your son and your family.

[slatyb]

That's really weird.