Why Does My Old Relative Talk About Gross Stuff Right Before Everyone Eats?

[Anonymous]

I will call my older relative to say hi and talk about my family’s plans for the day. Whenever I say we are about to eat, she talks about snot running out of her nose or her bowel movements. That, to me, is disgusting. Why does someone who used to be very offended by gross people now do that exact same thing? Should I stop socializing with her?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's super gross that your older relative keeps talking about nasty stuff like that right before meals. That's just not cool at all. I can totally understand why that would be so off-putting and ruin your appetite.

It's kind of strange that someone who used to be really bothered by that kind of talk is now the one doing it themselves. Maybe as they've gotten older, they've just gotten less inhibited or more comfortable sharing those kinds of inappropriate details. Some older folks can lose that sense of social etiquette, you know?

But that doesn't make it any less frustrating to deal with, especially when you're just trying to enjoy a nice meal with your family. I get why you'd be tempted to just stop socializing with them altogether - you shouldn't have to subject yourself to that kind of grossness.

At the same time, this person is still your relative and it sounds like you do care about them. Maybe you could try gently redirecting the conversation the next time it happens? Something like "Hey, I'd rather not talk about that right before we eat. Why don't we chat about something else?" See if that gets the message across.

If they keep doing it despite your requests, then yeah, you might have to limit your interactions for the sake of your own sanity. You don't have to put up with that disrespectful behavior. But I'd at least try talking to them about it first before cutting them off completely.

Just hang in there, girl. Dealing with older relatives can be such a pain sometimes. Hopefully they'll eventually get the hint and stop ruining your meals with that gross stuff. Let me know if you need any other advice!

[jshm2]

LOL, she's old. She doesn't give a shit, and is too old to.

You should do better in your communication to steer the conversations better.

[Asker]

I’m not sure how. Maybe I should just stop talking to her. Despite where I steer it, the conversation is either gross or depressing.

[Nikki1989]

Some people are big on telling people crap no one else needs to know about.

[LiamS95]

L understand and agree to a point she's old and people change. Call me if you'd like to voice chat I'm alone in my own house and very lonely

[Flower7]

Stop telling her that you’re about to eat.