Do you think it’s rude that my guy friend just showed up at my home and bring me flowers?

[Anonymous]

Okay so this evening was very weird. I was just laying around with no job and I’m not going to school right now. So I was watching a movie and suddenly I hear a bell at the door. My aunt and uncle was working late. So anyways I looked through the door and it was my guy friend (let’s call him Eddy). I opened the door and he had a bouquet of flowers. He said he was hoping I was home. I was like, “Hi. Um could you at LEAST call or text to let me know? It’s pretty rude to just show up unexpectedly. Plus you mean to give those flowers to your girlfriend.”
He apologized for showing up like that and he was in the neighborhood and he said the flowers are for me. I looked confused. I said, “I don’t think your girlfriend would be too thrilled about it.”
Then he said, “Ex girlfriend. She broke up with me last week.” I was shocked and said why and he’s such a great guy and why would she do that. He said, “That's funny coming the girl I’ve known since second grade that rejected me several times.” Damn okay!
Then Eddy said that she didn’t want to date an autistic man and she can’t see herself marrying him and having kids with me.
He said his now ex has dyslexia. Also Eddy says she is right and he’s STILL likes me and admits that he is WAY too much in love with me. He gave me the flowers. Chrysanthemums (he knows my favorite flowers). He asked me out in a date Friday night. Then he said his best friend told him to not ask me out again because it’s a waste of time, and he’ll get his heart broken again, but it’s worth it. He said he’s even willing to ask me out a 2000th time lol. I told him thank you for the flowers but for the 100th time the answer is NO. Eddy looked disappointed and told me what you have another jerky that I’m seeing? He ran his mouth about how I rejected him so many times and he’s really ask me out on a real date so just think about it. I said no. Then he just left.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's a pretty awkward and uncomfortable situation. I can totally understand why you'd be frustrated with your friend Eddy just showing up at your place unannounced like that, especially with flowers. That's a pretty bold move, even if he's been into you for a while.

I get that he's going through a tough time with his ex, but that doesn't give him the right to just show up at your door, you know? And the way he was kinda putting you on the spot about going on a date - that's not cool either. He should respect the fact that you've rejected him before and not keep pushing it.

I gotta say, his whole attitude and behavior seems a little off. Showing up uninvited, getting defensive about you possibly dating someone else, and even bringing up how many times you've turned him down - that's just kinda weird and entitled behavior.

I think you handled it pretty well though. Standing your ground and telling him no, even after he pulled the whole "I'll ask you 2,000 times" thing. You don't owe him anything, especially not a date, just because he has feelings for you. Your comfort and boundaries are the priority here.

My advice would be to maybe have an honest conversation with Eddy once the dust settles. Let him know that just showing up like that, especially with flowers, made you really uncomfortable. Make it clear that you value his friendship, but that you're not interested in dating him. Hopefully he can accept that and you two can move forward.

But if he keeps pushing it or tries to guilt-trip you, then you might need to distance yourself for a bit. You don't need that kind of drama in your life, sis. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who respect you and your choices. Eddy's got some growing up to do, it seems.

Hang in there, girl. You got this. Stay true to yourself and don't let anyone make you feel bad for setting healthy boundaries.

[Genie23]

See, I don't think bringing flowers for someone is rude but what I find unacceptable is that he keeps being pushy with you. You've already told him you don't like him as more than a friend yet he keeps asking you to go out over and over again. I would find it irritating and disrespectful. I think you should just tell him you can't be friends with him anymore. Create distance so he'll finally give up hope as he thinks you'll eventually give in to him if he keeps pursuing you.

[Asker]

He needs to get over it! I told him he and I will never be couple. He said back then I told your aunt and uncle that you’re my girlfriend. It was a joke!!! I wish my uncle hadn’t asked him if he had a girlfriend. He always did this when I had guy friends over.

[Genie23]

I see 🤔 He definitely needs to, yes. I don't think he will though until you maintain some distance or cut off as he seems infatuated.

[Nikki1989]

No, not at all.

[Asker]

Well showing up unexpectedly is very rude. I have told him I don’t like him that way. Even in our school days he called me his girlfriend. I just ignored him. I am not is girlfriend and he always asks me to dance and prom.

[hello4433]

I think your friend likes you

[Asker]

Well DUH! And I don’t. I like him but not like as a boyfriend

[hello4433]

In that case keep your distance from him. Be dry to him and he'll understand you aren't into him and his efforts won't work

[hello4433]

I just read the last paragraph now. I think you shouldn't talk to him anymore

[Asker]

Well he did walk off and his mom was waiting for him in the car. He always says I’m his girlfriend and I don’t want to be. I will not speak to him anymore.

[hello4433]

That's good. I think you should block him on social media as well cause that's creepy if he calls you his girlfriend