Do you think it’s a bad thing for an older person to be in an assisted living facility with all the death there?

[Anonymous]

my grandfather does need a little bit of help, but the main reason why they moved there was because my grandmother had dementia. And he’s been there a lot longer than she was. I’m thinking it’s very depressing for him seeing all these people he knows there die, and I don’t think it’s good for him to have to see that. So I really don’t know if him staying there is the best thing.

[Anonymous]

Death happens all the time. You can’t stop it. I am a HCA meaning I am directly responsible for caring for the elderly. Dementia is heartbreaking but sometimes a family members care needs exceed what a family can provide for them and that’s okay.


Where I work we’ve had 2 die on our floor in the last few months. Deaths tend to happen in 3s and the facility as a whole has had their three.


Now I personally wouldn’t put my family member in an assisted living. My mother for example I will take care of her and when she dies ideally I’ll be the one caring for her; but if her needs eventually exceed what I can adequately provide for her I’ll have to look into an assisted living facility or more likely a long term care. I tease her and say I can’t do that to them (them being my coworkers)

[Asker]

he could live on his own, but then the concern is if he needs someone or an emergency happens or whatever.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s all relative. I know someone whose grandmother is thriving in assisted living because there’s a community there she didn’t have access to at home. Now she does and she’s much happier, even as people she knows are moving on from this life.

[Nikki1989]

The presence of death in an assisted living facility is not inherently a “bad thing.” In many respects, it is a sad but inevitable fact of life that is frequently managed with greater consideration and assistance than what an elderly person might encounter when living alone.

[Flower7]

In that case, you could try taking him out and see how he does without the assisted living.

[Staximus]

Is your grandmother still there?

[Staximus]

If she is gone now and he doesn't need medical care, get him out of there if you can. Take him on walks, drives, out to eat or over for dinner, take him to do fun stuff. Go fishing or something.

[Asker]

we see him once or twice a week. I don’t know what the alternative would be, but I just feel like it is worse for him like being around all these people he gets to know and then they die all the time.

[Staximus]

The alternative would be moving him into one of your family members houses

[Asker]

I don’t think he wants to be a burden for one, and it would definitely not be good for him to be with anyone else besides for my direct family. I just don’t think it’s good to be around all that death.. so yeah, I don’t know.