What's your view on putting your parents in a nursing home when they get older?

[itsannalee]

[Billlewis]

If you're white, it's payback for kicking us out of the house the day we turned 18.

[lokumcugirl]

Are they really doing this?

[Billlewis]

@lokumcugirl Oh, absolutely. If you're smart, like I was, your relatives will often try to shove college up your ass, and if you don't want to go, will then leverage the roof over your head -- 'If you go to school, you can stay, if not, get out'. I was working two jobs and paying her rent, and she still kicked me out. It happens more often than you think.

[lokumcugirl]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, that kind of family bonds are not something I'm used to but I thought it was a stereotype for white people

[Billlewis]

@lokumcugirl. No, it's true, albeit not as much today as it was when I was graduating high school, because housing has become so much more costly, due to decades of artificially low interest rates. White folks don't just hate themselves, many of us despise our kids, too, often because of jealousy. My mom was jealous as hell of me.

[lokumcugirl]

That honestly sounds traumatizing. I study abroad and my mom calls me everyday, just to make sure I'm fine and I don't feel alone. But my white friends call their family once or twice a month and it's unbelievable for me

[Billlewis]

@lokumcugirl. Yeah, we can be pretty mean sometimes. In my case, the situation was worsened by the fact that my mom did what a lot of white women do -- have one child, then wait nearly ten years before having the second one. When they're both boys, by two different men, that's a recipe for conflict. But the upside to being the first one is that by having a rough childhood, you may decide not to grow up very much, which can be a good thing, as long as you don't get too crazy;)

[Billlewis]

That's why I haven't dated a white girl since the 80's; I'm going to marry a Filipina lady in February.

[lokumcugirl]

I'm sending you lots of hugs and good energy 🫂✨
I hope you will be happy in your marriage, maybe I should also look for someone in my own culture 🥲

[Billlewis]

@lokumcugirl. Thanks, dear.

[exitseven]

I had to find a nursing home for my mother. She could no longer live on her own. I had to take her car keys away. More than once I went to visit her and saw that she left the burner on the stove on. She fell in her front yard and it was many hours before somebody came to her aid.

My wife and I did extensive research on Nursing Homes. My wife works in healthcare so she knew a lot about what was important. There are some facilities that have fancy sitting rooms and chandeliers in the dining room but it is the staff that is more important. We found a place that had a low staff turnover and that the staff could speak English. We picked a place 5 or 6 miles from my house. I wanted to be able to visit my mother almost every day. If the staff sees that you visit every day they will take extra good care of their patient and make sure the bed linens get changed and the room is neat.

My mother was there for a couple of years before she died and a few people from the nursing home showed up. I was happy to see that she had a friendly relationship with some of the staff members.

[Purpleronnie]

I wouldn’t be putting my parents anywhere they didn't want to go unless it was a medical fact they weren’t in a position to be making best judgement for their own health or safety.


All I having been doing in that respect is gaining power of attorney over their finances and estate so that I can make the most Informed decisions should I ever have to act on their behalf and reluctantly place them in care.


My mothers words on the subject are presently “ they only way I’m leaving this house is in a box “ … enough said 😂

[aaron13547]

Nope. I wish I could give my parents away. As much as they aggravate me! But i dont think it works that way... they will be my problem till I die. I say that because after they die, they will still be problem, then ill miss all the things I complain about now.

I think we have to share in every second of the excruciating torture of their death... Instead of seeing it as suffering, we have to stand by and celebrate the life they gave us with the life they will soon lose. I will be there for every second of that for my parents... no nursery home for mine. My home will always have a place for them, just as their home always had a place for me.

[Tarifa]

Having taken care of my father when he was very ill, I would say I'm against nursing homes. Even if it wasn't easy for the rest of the family, I think elderly people should stay at home as long as possible, in their environment and close to their relatives.

[DryGermanGuy]

The question is, if someone is physically frail or mentally failing? With the former you can workaround by bringing them groceries and organize a help for cleaning. With the latter, when you have to be afraid they might set the house on fire, you often have no choice but a nursing home.

[egan3141]

Thankfully, my parents have already told me what they want. When they get that old, I will hire a live-in nurse/caretaker. Nursing homes, or rather their idea, is a good thing, but their implementation, their reality... it is almost always terrible...

[Iron_Man]

Absolutely not 100% no those place are horrible. They don’t care about you. You’re just a number on a ticket you’re abandoned and your left to die and they won’t help you with anything because they’ll get an attitude the nurses and the assistant nurses

[Stevepro68]

In the US it is an insanely difficult and complicated decision. Most good people don't want to. But have to be forced. Resources safety knowledge and commitment to other parts of the family make it a difficult decision. Some times it has to be done.

[AviatorTom]

My parents never went to a nursing home. My father died at home, in his own bed, independent and fully functional til the end. My mother died in hospice after a hospital operation went wrong.

[hafinjun]

I lived with my favorite aunt so she could live out her life not in a nursing home. It wasn't that hard but her passing was

[hafinjun]

My mom moved back in with her mom who was suffering dementia. I believe it can become to difficult to take proper care of. My grandmother would get up at 2 or 3 in the morning and go for walks or worse yet go knock on the house next doors front door to talk to her best friend who'd passed away several years prior. One morning my mom had to go in and wake her up at which time she discovered my grandma's face was scratched and bloody. Apparently she'd fallen while on walk about.

[NathanDavis]

we rather bring the nurses and care into their home, our home...

[MemeSupreme]

depends on the home, their needs, where you live, and so many things

i dont think its a black and white thing

[Caughtulookin]

Both my parents died in the house they lived in for 30 years. I know my mother would not have liked a nursing home and she died of Dementia. My father died of Cancer and a Cancer patient generally dies in their home or the hospital.

[Pterodon]

My mom went because she needed full time professional care that I couldn’t provide

[loveslongnails]

Only if couldn't take care of them myself. Depending where you are in the world, cost is a very big factor in that decision as well.

[Staximus]

I think it's only good if you can't take care of their health properly or in-home care is not an option

[beefcakebradybatson]

It's sometimes necessarybut a child must thoroughly vet any nursing home for signs of elder abuse

[Darkest-Knight]

We had to put my father in one the last few years of his life as he required care that we were not able to give him.

[AngryCarl2]

It became necessary for my mother. Some people just need round-the-clock care.

[msg321]

What is your view on putting you in a nursing home when you get older?

[ABC1x1x]

You might as well just snuff them out with a pillow. A nursing home is worse than death.

[chickychickyparmparm]

It's not ideal, but I'm not qualified to give a level of care.

[Despina7]

Here we don’t they live with us it’s older. Then. Younger generation takes over the bills. Care take.

[c704710]

This is a conversation to have with your parents before it is necessary.

[WhitneySnow]

I’m against it

[Nikki1989]

Only as a last resort.

[Xawyx-2]

I probably wouldn't do it.

[In_Trance]

Sometimes you have no choice

[TallAnon]

That will be her own choice, not mine.

[Bklynbadboy12]

No way I'd do that to my parents

[roy_ricky09]

Never ever