How much responsinbility should parents own of their kids' decision making?

[Lottydotty]

Updates

10 mo

Not legally, but in general if a kid grows up and steals a lot or drinks or just has bad temperment and disreguards any authority. Not by regulation but by essentially personal opinion how much would you say thats a fault of their parents more than the kid?

Updates

9 mo

I guess where I'm more so getting at is with the types of guys who are just very plainly dweebs as in like childish to the point they are whiney and talk almost like a baby. And can't talk about anything other than pokemon or something of the sort. I just notice quite a few of these types of dudes growing kinda hidden away not actually growing in any sort... is there a line we should draw?

[slatyb]

What sorts of decisions? Parents are responsible if their child commits a tort -- injuring someone or damaging property. Otherwise they should leave most decisions to the child, and let the child experience the consequences. "I forgot my lunch" "Then I suppose you'll be hungry for dinner." "I forgot my homework" "When you get home we can talk about some things you can do so that you always have what you need"

[Ariesman81]

Up until 18... all of it. The problem rests with society allowing children to have a say. The irony is, a child can't vote, according to U. S. law, but at 12 years old, can go to the doctor and keep any and all information secret from the parents, whose job it is to know and guide their children. HIPPA laws were not intended for children.

[slatyb]

There's a reason children are allowed to keep health information private -- to protect them from abuse from their parents for not conforming to their parents expectations of sexual orientation and chastity.

[Ariesman81]

@slatyb

So doctors are enablers. And by abuse do you mean teach discipline?

[slatyb]

What sort of discipline? There's no discipline that will make a gay child straight. If a girl under 16 is pregnant, it's almost certain she was a victim of sexual abuse, and she should be able to terminate the pregnancy without the knowledge of her abuser.

[Ariesman81]

@slatyb

As in a father that raped his daughter? If it was any other perpetrator, the father would definitely want to know who to kill. But instead, the system keeps secrets from the very people who care most for the children.

It's also no secret that girls are sexually active at 15 years or younger. And when a daughter can obtain birth control without a parents consent, what does that teach children?

[slatyb]

If a child is seeking health care without informing their parents, it's because they don't trust their parents, probably with good reason. I would much rather a teen be able to get birth control when they need it. In civilized nations it's available free in high schools, and as a result teen pregnancies are virtually non-existent. In the United States the teen pregnancy rates are highest in the states which teach "abstinence-only" -- it's not education in any way. I think the parents like it that way -- it keeps their daughters at home instead of going off to college and never returning.

[slatyb]

It's very rarely someone outside the family circle. It may be the father, a brother, an uncle, but very rarely a stranger to the family.

[Ariesman81]

@slatyb

Or it could be the child is rebellious. Even say, a child that was conceived while the mother was on birth control. So what we have here is a system where the state is attempting to be the parent. And a poor one at that. One that can't say no. And rather than have kids who understand discipline, it's created a generation devoid of consequence. Entitlement. So sure, teen pregnancy has gone down, but at the expense of their value. And no, it's not to keep kids around home. It's to ensure when they become adults, that they're prepared for life. With all the morals and virtues that only a good parent can teach.

[slatyb]

No, the state is granting agency to minors in some situations. The laws are there because without them minors were being abused at home after seeking medical attention.

[slatyb]

Besides, this question was about the responsibility of parents for actions of their child that affected others, not about children making decisions about themselves.

[Ariesman81]

@slatyb

Yes the state is giving authority to children who do not understand the responsibility of it. While stripping the authority from the parents who do understand the consequences. The responsibility of a child lies with the parent. The authority should be with the parents as well, not the state.

[slatyb]

The responsibility? to whom? Children seeking health care are taking responsibility for themselves, because their parents won't look after their children's welfare.

[Ariesman81]

@slatyb

Yes, but as you stated, you consider tolerating unacceptable behavior to be ok. And rather than take responsibility, you feel it acceptable to just placate your children. Afterall, they're not gonna listen anyway, right?

[slatyb]

Unacceptable behavior? Like what?

[Ariesman81]

@slatyb

Like handing bc to a minor. Or allowing a child to lie to their parents.

[slatyb]

In civilized countries BC is handed out free at schools, and they have almost no teen pregnancies.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

That's a very though queation I feel like it's 50/50 because you get into the thing of serial killers and sometimes it was there childhood that caused it and sometimes it wasn't so it's a very hard thing to say in a whole rather then per situation

[EmmaMary]

@Lottydotty

They should naturally take full 100% responsibility until their child obtains the age of eighteen.

[EmmaMary]

@Lottydotty

Ref. Your Update.

I shall just reiterate what I've already posted... They're still 100% responsible for failing in bringing up and educating their children... Obviously they too need to learn and understand as well.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[katiesmuff]

Totally their responsibility up to 18 years old and hopefully some influence past that age.

[In_Trance]

little to none