Just read an interesting article from the mother of a monster-son. He’s manic and what’s seems like anti-social psychopathy. He goes mad when he doesn’t get his way and threatens to kill his entire family to their face.
From what I’ve read about this, boys can be born with these traits, but it takes nourishment to multiply it to this extent. What I wonder is how much this crazy kid was indulged as a loud toddler just to get him to shut up?
I’m not a parent, nor a psychologist so it’s simply guessing. But consensus among experts are it takes genetics and bad parenting to get a kid this horrible…
Bad parents can definitely make bad kids, but for some things like an anti-social personality, or even BPD, I know that makes life more difficult for both parent and child. I've had friends with BPD, it was emotionally exhausting just letting them rely on me at times. For one, I was his lifeline and was constantly talking him off the edge of suicide. The other had horrible impulse control (i. e. he adopted a 6-week-old puppy and gave it away after a month because he couldn't potty-train it) and definitely got up to some less-than-good things for himself. Both of these friendships didn't last longer than a few months at a time. I didn't know how to interact with them in a way that could make them feel welcome, so we eventually stopped talking altogether. Both of them had issues with their families and friends in this way and I have no doubt that their struggles with finding those in-between spaces for their emotions didn't help that at all.
Unsurprisingly, their parents got tired and as they became adults my friends were happy to distance themselves from their families as much as possible because of the resentment that had built up. Any contact they ended up having with their families would usually result in rage or depression because of whatever happened or whatever was said. BPD does a great job at making you think you're a terrible person even when you're not doing anything wrong, and I'm sure when that kid acts like that it's not his choice but just a lack of control and then hating himself for it later.
Of course it’s partly the parents fault. Also in this article there is no mention of the father being in the picture. The boy claim “I wear the pants in the house”. Sure that’s true if the father isn’t around no 13 year old boy is scared of his mother. When you know your father is going to come home and spank you or ground you and he enforces the punishment the kids learns that he shouldn’t repeat the action which got him spanked or grounded in the first place. So it’s the mothers fault for sleeping with a guy who isn’t her husband in the first place, and it’s the guy’s fault that the kid has grown up without a father. It’s also societies fault for encouraging the behavior of going out having sex outside of marriage and not raising there children as a mother and father family unit. So women have 1 options that’s not murder, save yourself for the guy you are going to get married to.
I dont think that abusing a child is the answer to any question. Its better to be a single mother than have a man in the house that abuses the children.
I'm a psychologist. We don't exactly know what causes this kind of behavior in children but it is likely to be a combination of both genetics and bad parenting. That being said, what causes it is not really important. What is important is what you have to do to make it better. And that is something we don't know a lot about as well. even if we did know what caused it we would run into the usual situation where somehow there was not enough money to pay for effective treatment like we have in the United states.
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