Was I being unfair?

[Anonymous]

My husband (30m) and I (29f) had a traditional wedding with 400 guests last weekend. My cousin Isha (40f) has always been really close and supported me during my worst days. I loved for her to be my bridesmaid, and she was delighted. On the wedding day, as per schedule, asked all my bridesmaids to meet at 7.45am. Everyone was on time, but I waited till 8.20am and Isha still hadn't even left her house! The limo driver and wedding coordinator were urging me to hurry saying everything was behind schedule, and so I asked Isha to drive herself to the venue.

Later, as the bridesmaids were walking down the aisle, apparently one of my other bridesmaids walked infront of Isha which also really upset her. I had no idea of this as I was literally walking down the aisle when this happened. Minutes after the ceremony, Isha walked up to me and called me cold-hearted. I was in the middle of taking photos when she said this and I was almost in tears. After the photoshoot, I asked Isha what happened, but she called me a horrible person. No matter how much I tried reasoning with her, she didn't listen and ended up embarrassing me infront of others. My wedding day just turned out gloomy which made me extremely upset.

Isha's son was the ring bearer and so none of this was on purpose. I spoke to Isha for 5 hours the next day, explaining I had nothing to do with any of this and she still wasn't completely convinced. My husband started complaining that I was not spending quality time with him right after the wedding and that I was too occupied with comforting Isha.

[Hardon-Collider]

Isha wasn't 'out of line.' Her reaction isn't about your wedding party. It's a jolt. Her son being the ring bearer triggered a memory flashback. She's a deeply connected family member, and her whole life is interwoven with yours. Her feeling of being forgotten by you, or by the events of the day, is real. She saw her son, her own bloodline, in that role, and it reminded her of her own position in life. She wasn't just being difficult; she was crying out from a part of her that felt neglected. It's not a simple complaint; it's a cry from a long history.

[Hardon-Collider]

No. You were dealing with a difficult schedule and external events. Isha, however, was likely experiencing the spiritual reality of the wedding, not the physical one. She was likely feeling the replacement of a mother by her son, an heir, and the deep bond of love between you and her that you were both experiencing. Her reaction, and your inability to explain it away, was because you were speaking to her on a physical level, while she was living in a spiritual reality where her feelings were entirely justified.

[InknKink]

That's fucked up. Your cousins a bitch.

[RavVid]

We can safely say Isha is all about her.

[Anonymous]

So what is the question, if there is one?

[Asker]

Was I being unfair to Isha?

[Anonymous]

Isha sounds terrible

[LuXtreme]

Yes.