Me and my boyfriend are seriously talking about me moving in with him. Like possibly within the next 6 months
He already expressed he'd like a little help with the bills, not a crazy amount though. I'm fine with that, sounds fair. But he said he's scared if I move in that I'm going to want to redecorate everything. I don't want to change everything, but there are a few things I would like to add.
It seems like he's thinking a bit selfish, this isn't about just him anymore, especially if I'm helping pay some of the bills. If I move in, this is my home as much as it is his. If that's not the case, then I don't think I want to move in.
What I suggested is, before you move in together, try to separate what are potential roommate problems and what are normal relationship problems.
I don't know his lifestyle habits, but what I do know is that if living with him is more work (twice the trash, twice the laundry, twice the dishes) you will eventually become resentful, and it will affect your relationship.
What I suggest, is before you move in, you make it very clear about what chores each of you does on a daily/weekly basis, what things you want changed, and what lifestyle decisions you want. How important is eating together? How important is a homemade meal? How important is it to go to bed together? How many times do you want to have company/friends over? Was he raised in a house where his mother did everything? Does he or you know what it takes to run a household?
He's not going to be perfect and neither are you. But you both need to agree to change your behavior when the other person requests it.
You're being a bit selfish. You're moving into his home and shouldn't expect that you can change things. Having said that, once you move in and have been there for a month, if there us something you'd like to change, talk with him about it. He might be agreeable, or he might not. Remember that you are essentially a guest in his home.
And that's where you're wrong. I'm not a guest in his home, I'm his girlfriend moving in with him. That's now my home too, especially if I'm helping with the bills. And if he doesn't see it that way then why the hell would he ask me to move in with him.
He's told you he's concerned you'll redecorate... I gave you the guy's reasoning behind that, and how you should best handle things. I'm not going to tell you how to handle your relationship, but it's usually a good idea to listen to your partner
