Is it unfair my boyfriend won't let me drive his car?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend got a brand new 2021 Subaru with all the trimmings, it's so beautiful, the stereo, the seats, the safety features, the air con, it's just AMAZING!

I drive a 2012 pulsar, and it's a great car overall, but not on the level his is.

The thing that really pisses me off is he doesn't let me drive his, ever.

I drove it once - ONCE - the day he got it, we went to the shops and he let me drive it home, and since then he doesn't let me drive it.

If we go somewhere and he's driving, we take his car. I tell him I want to drive, so he heads to the passenger side of my car, even if we are visiting my parents etc.

I've asked him some morning if I can drive his car that day for work and he says "what's wrong with your car?", when there's nothing wrong I just want to drive his lovely new car for fun.

Surely this is him just being selfish? He won't even put my name on the insurance, says there's no need for it and points out he's not on my insurance and he doesn't drive my car, but as his girlfriend of 18 months who lives with him I feel it should be OUR car and I should get to drive it regularly.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I don't let my fiancé drive my car, I've told him the only time he can is if its an emergency, such as having to take me to the ER or so... but I'd personally rather not have to deal with him putting a dent or scratch on it, and that ends our relationship. I take extremely good care of my vehicles (how I was raised) and if he did anything I would DEMAND he fix it ASAP or get the F out and we are done. He would have the option to make it as good as it was before and if unable or unwilling, we'd be done.

See it is safer for both of us to not put him into a position to potentially damage the vehicle, even an accident he would have to fix it immediately. An accident that would not of happened had he not been driving it. I refuse to drive his vehicle for the same reason though, just safer to avoid problems that don't need to happen.

Its really personal preference though, if you don't care about a car and don't mind a few scratches, dings or dents, I get it. If you had a really nice car and you let him drive it, would you be okay with some minor 'accidental' damage or would you lose it.

[douride2]

I don't see a problem. Like he said your not on the insurance. That is one good reason right there. No one but me drives my truck. As for saying it should be our car. Who is paying for it?

[Sixgunsound]

This.

[Waldoe]

Boyfriend? if you were driving and a drunk ran a red-light and T-boned you... would he blame you? yeah, probably... He wasn't there and you were driving so you are responsible for anything that happens to the car. And of course... you would say "I wasn't my fault" and the Fight would begin... personally, I REFUSE to drive other people's cars... I do not want to be responsible for the car... even with insurance there is a deductible ($500) that you would have to pay... (you were driving) Plus the car would lose value, because it was in an accident, so that's probably another $2-3,000 ... do you REALLY want to drive his car? If you do, hand him a deposit for $4000 every time... when you return the car safely, he can return the cash, until then DO NOT ASK to drive his car, you are NOT married

[ScottStevens]

Even though you have been together for 18 months and live together you are still on the test driving phase of your relationship.

Combine that with the idea that the car is probably the most expensive thing he has ever purchased, and you might need to understand he is being very protective of his car.

I would simply give him time to adjust to the “newness” of the car and how much he worked to get it.

after Awhile he might just surprise you and ask if you want to drive to his parents for dinner.

[AviatorTom]

My SO rarely let's me drive her car. Not a problem. She drives most if the time when we go somewhere.

He has the right to decide who drives his car. Just because you're living together does not make his things yours too... and vice versa.

Most guys understand that. Many girls don't.

[admles]

It's his car.

It's not your car.

He let you try it out once, that's enough.

You have your own car. You just want to drive his for the novelty factor.

Plus, it's brand new, he probably wants to keep it in good condition.

You're essentially being a little child who wants to play with someone else's new toy.

[slatyb]

He's right, you are wrong. You aren't married, you aren't paying for the car. It's his car. You have your own car. If you don't like it, trade it.

Are you living together? He probably will have to put you on the car insurance. Insurance companies assume that all adults in a household have access to all the cars.

[jamesgoldman]

Nope totally fair

I've had friends years and not once driven any of their cars (nearest I got was firing up the CCXR) or to be more contextual my
ex-girlfriend had a BMW and I never got to drive it

You have a car much newer than many peoples and because you're nay more than a petulant child you want the instant gratification to use a car owned by another

[Redstang88]

Not it’s not selfish. Someone that isn’t a car nut just can’t understand why he won’t allow it. It’s his baby and simply put he doesn’t trust you with it
there's only a couple people I’d consider letting drive my truck, and it has nothing to do with who they are to me but rather knowing that they’re every bit as capable of driving it as me.
It’s nothing personal, there’s people I’d trust with my life but not with my truck

[Twalli]

If you didn't contribute to the purchase of the car, then it's his. My girlfriend doesn't really contribute to taking care of my dog, thus she's not my girlfriend's dog. If that changes, or my girlfriend helps take care of the next dog, it's a different story.

[Luggit]

Everyone is different. He's not right or wrong for choosing his decision. If it was my car, I could care less, even if it's in the middle of the night. You know where the keys are, just take it with no explanation and enjoy, I don't care.

[IMuser]

For ages, a man has cared for his car like he cares for his wife. Nobody touched the baby girl

An example

https://www.youtube.com/embed/c-pt3gz64ok

[Gmikep]

I used to be so willing to lend my car to good friends, siblings, and girlfriends.
Then…
A friend dinged my truck, and denied it.
My sister took my truck muddling, got stuck, and ruined the transmission.
And the icing on the cake- my ex got drunk took my Porsche on a high speed race, lost control, went airborne, flipped and landed upside down in the woods. She walked away with bumps and bruises, and never stopped drinking.

I will never let anyone borrow a car I own again.

[libsaretards]

If you are not on his insurance then legally you should not be driving his car. If some idiot hits you, he would be out of a car because insurance will not cover a car driven by someone not on the insurance, regardless of if it is your fault or not.

[RealMarek]

It costs money to add you to his insurance and it’s a risk for you to drive it if you’re not on his insurance. You’re not married, so you can’t just assume his car is your car.

[jshm2]

No. It's quite sensible of him actually. You sound fucking crazy, and I wouldn't let you sit in a car, never mind drive one.

[In_Trance]

Assuming he worked really hard to afford the car, he didn't do it for someone else to drive. You'd feel the same in his place.
If you like it that much, why don't you get one?

[Dragonstarterplus]

...

Are you on the insurance? If not you have zero ground to stand on

[CallmeTheKnight]

No. Your car runs fine. You've just told everyone you're not happy with what you have. Sounds like you're the selfish one.

[May_Summers]

May be he can let your drive sometimes. But insurance is different matter altogether can there is nothing you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

You're the only one being selfish. Only 18 months and you want to go beyond what some over controlling wives don't even do. If you want to drive a certain car so bad buy it or rent it yourself, he's not your dad

[Levin]

I wouldn't let you drive the car either.

[Anonymous]

You are out of your fucking mind.

[Shamalien]

Yer fucked, period. Entitlement much?