What is a nice way of telling someone that the reason why you don't want to hang out with them is cuz they are cringe?

[Anonymous]

Like I know this might sound a little mean but I don't want to be associated with my sister-in-law like just like I'm very selective of who I date I'm also selective of who I am friends with like I'm not trying to sound superficial but to a certain extent having certain type of friends can influence how society views you like I say she's cringe cuz she says like the weirdest out of pocket things out of nowhere and wonders why she doesn't have lots of friends like this one time when we were going to my mother-in-law's Christmas party this girl was whining and basically begging my husband who was driving to honk at the cars because apparently there is this one superstition that if you do it then you're going to get good luck or something like that I don't know and she kept insisting and I could clearly see that my husband's face was starting to get upset and so he stood his ground and said no and then my daughter which she's a child said that why is she weird and that she doesn't want to be close to her and I don't know if my sister-in-law shut down because she heard my daughter's comment and saw my daughter and me side eyeing her or she just kept quiet because my husband stood his ground but yeah I don't know this is an example of what she usually does and like it's cringe and now a year later low-key I don't want her coming cuz I know that the people that I'm planning on inviting for the holidays yeah they're going to make fun of her and if my brother-in-law and her think that I messed up yeah no I'm the nice one from the group so to be honest I'm not really going to stop my people cuz maybe she needs to be I don't want to see humiliated but called out I don't know what's the word for it but she needs to be in a way called out so she can like dial it down I mean if that's what my brother-in-law is into I guess but she should be reminded that not everybody is going to enjoy her weirdness lol

[Purpleronnie]

Well that could be really awkward , you could try to be subtle and say something like “ I feel like our personalities are REALLY different “ or other similar phrases but I’m thinking she is not the type to pick up on subtleties or social queues because she’s a little “too much” / or just a bit “ odd “ or “off”


I often think that when people do spend a lot of time marching to the beat of their own drum without friends to soften them that they just become more and more socially awkward , it’s almost like they then start evolving differently saying bizarre things because nobody keeps them in check


Because of who she is to you it might just be easier to just challenge her “weirdness” head on but in a friendly way? So in your example of the festive car honks , laugh it off but be honest without being confrontational / aggressive saying something like “ well there’s no way that honking your horn randomly at other cars / people is a bad idea “


Maybe she is just one of those many people who seem to speak before they have taken their brain out of neutral 😝 and she desperately needs to be socialized


Good luck 🍀

[Asker]

Finally someone that makes sense 🙌🏻 and exactly and this is coming from someone that is socially awkward and sometimes so if I'm saying it that says a lot tbh

[Purpleronnie]

Thank you. It’s funny that you consider yourself socially awkward cause I do too at time but then I’m diagnosed highly functional autistic so maybe I should 🤪. I dunno , i guess we all can feel like that at times dependent on the group we are in. I guess people like her maybe just don’t realize they are because they can’t read social cue’s or just don’t care. Interesting questioned and good description 👍

[kmg9150]

So its weird to you. Maybe your behaviors are weird to her. Different people see different things. You simply can't except the way she is… So you aren't really the nice person. What if everyone around thought it was polite to fart at the dinner table? They would prolly called you weird for not doing it. Or maybe they accept the way you are, as long as you not hurting anyone whats the problem.


Your problem isn't with your sister in law, its with your need to fit in and concern with what people think about you. Why do you think people should be like you? Why are you concerned with being like other people. I suggest don't invite her cause she doesn't need to be around people with narrowminded visions

[Asker]

I'm just trying to help her out she's the one that get all mopey because her uniqueness isn't well received and then I tell her why it's not well received and she doesn't like it so if you're going to be acting that way at least be unapologetic about it and trying to force everybody and I say everybody cuz it's not just me it's my husband's family and any other friends that we have been around and they'll ask the same question if she's a little delayed or if that's actually the way she is or if like she was like homeschooled where she didn't learn social cues

[Anonymous]

Cringe? You sound like a 12 year old, not only is it not what adults use to describe each other, but that word can essentially mean anything, calling someone a weirdo or cringe doesn’t make you look good, so when you were more specific about the situation where she wasn’t taking no for an answer, you could just say she doesn’t respect people boundaries and in that moment or later you should have been an adult and discussed this with her. And as far as her beliefs, we live in a society of people with different beliefs, there’s a respectful way to let her know that you don’t believe in that or ignore it, but if she’s forcing it on you, you can communicate.

[Asker]

You are right I should have communicated to her like this was just an example of something she does like another occasions she definitely does not take no for an answer like she actually acts like a freaking kid after people tell her no and she keeps on whining and whining till she gets what she wants that's why I'm being so drastic about it cuz this thing was like the cherry on top that I will like is she delayed or she's just a pretty little princess that has a daddy that never said no to things

[Asker]

And on top of that I don't know if it's that she's toned deaf or can't pick up social cues that she needs to stop it I mean to each its own but she shouldn't get upset when people don't receive her uniqueness how she expects people to receive it if you're going to be acting that way at least have a balls to be unapologetic about it and not get all mopey when people give you the side eye

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You are 100% superficial and you don’t deserve someone with enough of a handle on who they are that you’re ashamed to compare yourself to them. Just be honest and say you’re embarrassed and insecure.

[Asker]

Okay yeah I'm embarrassed cuz on two occasions just so people don't really judge her I had to lie to people and tell them that she's delayed unfortunately the second time she heard she got upset and then that's when I ended up telling her well if you're going to be your true self you got to be unapologetic about it you can't be getting all mopey because people won't accept you the way you are I mean you really got to understand and got to be comfortable that you are not going to be everybody's cup of tea so I ended up just telling her either just cut it out and save it for people that you can be like that with or just continue doing what you do and stop crying about it

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You’re rude as hell

[AviatorTom]

There is no nice way. Just be honest and tell them how you feel.

Don't be afraid of hurting their feelings. People have thicker skin than many give them credit for.

In the situation you describe, you might want to have an honest discussion with your brother first, letting him know how you feel about his wife.

[mysteriousNicholas]

Lol I'd always remark in my head "cringey*

No one wants to say "cringey" versus cringe - sigh 😞 😔😅

Anyways - I'm everyone's friend, so I often just stay smiley, friendly and to myself or I keep to only my close circle of friends

[Zack-Bann]

I wouldn’t bother being judgmental of another person we are all adults.


You can simply not invite her
And if she confronts you about it just say it was planned out that way, it’s nothing personal


She’ll take the hint

[Nikki1989]

I would just tell them without hurting their feelings if possible.

[Iron_Man]

so you wanna get rid of a friend because she begged the husband to honk at the car while driving by

[Asker]

She's not really a friend she's more like a nuisance not only to me but my husband's family I actually thought that I was the only one but turns out they can't stand her they just tolerate her I've just been the one that has more balls to actually call her out and her man knows it because he doesn't stop me so even her man knows that she's out of pocket most times she's just getting her bubble bursted that there is something called being professional just like you would speak and behave a certain way at a job or in front of I don't know your husband's family or I don't know like read the room I think everybody makes it pretty obvious that she should dial it down but I mean I don't have no problem actually calling her out lol

[Athena7_]

I’d tell them honestly. Maybe they can improve. If not, I cut them off.

[leahzrc]

Yo this girl would be my bestie because I like girls that nobody else likes

[Bloodparadise]

Is the bone of your nose strong can I handle being attacked

[Asker]

Well like they say if you're going to be talking s*** it's cuz you can throw hands so if I'm talking s***then yeah the bone of my nose is strong enough love

[Anonymous]

The key is in good communication.