Sibling and I can never agree on anything, causes family fights what to do?

[Iquestioneverything]

I have a younger sister with whom we have a little in common, but most of her life and political values are completely opposite of mine.
But it’s come down that the way she raises her teen children has been on her life values and beliefs. While everyone is entitled to their own opinions/beliefs, many of hers are personally hurtful to me and my children. I am close to her children, but the older they get the more they are becoming like my sister and it’s not only putting me in an uncomfortable relationship, but also my children whom aren’t getting along with their cousins over things they say.

I have tried my best to not take it out on my nieces and nephews, and told my sister how I feel. But she refuses to change or at least stop trying to push her beliefs on me and my family and make us feel guilty that we don’t agree with her. Being the older sister, my values are the way our Grandparents taught us, I guess my sister being younger doesn’t believe in following tradition and wants everything changed.

I don’t know what to do anymore 😔

[ManOnFire]

Yeeeeeah, stuff like that is tough with families. Life becomes a whole different planet when you and your siblings are adults with different lifestyles, ideas, etc. I'm going through the same thing right now.

By nature, it's always going to be pretty normal for a parent to teach their kids the same things they think and believe, but the problem is that she is being domineering with it in a way that's harmful to you guys, and not interested in changing it. Or at least learning to keep that stuff to herself and her kids and teaching them that others are not going to think they way they do/agree with all their ideas.

As hard as it will sound, it might be a case where you're going to have to start distancing yourself altogether if all her stuff gets to be harmful for you and your kids. Lots of families go through this - which isn't great, but you've gotta do what is necessary to protect your peace and your kids' peace.

[HollyK21]

You probably won’t agree with this, a lot of people don’t, but I think it’s totally appropriate to cut off people who are negatively impacting our lives, even when it’s family. If you were raised with traditional values then you most likely hold the belief that family should stick together no matter what, but everyone has their limits and sometimes those connections are way too toxic to maintain. We can outgrow relationships with family members just as we do with friends, partners, etc.


All that to say: if you’re in a place where your relationship with your sister isn’t healthy or functional then at least try giving it a break. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her and ofc you don’t want the kids to suffer but it sounds like everyone is butting heads and maybe some space is for the better.

[Screenwriter]

There is, Truthfully, nothing you can do, but avoid political discussions. If you and she disagree, that is how it is. Your children are nearly adults and they can make up their own minds. And of course your children will follow more closely to how you raised them, just as her children will follow more closely to how she raised them.

You can no more change her than she can change you. You don't have to be around her, if this is the case. So either don't, or limit your time around her severely. Arguing won't get you anywhere and why disrupt being with your family?

Create peace by avoiding conflict. That's all you can do.

[Nikki1989]

You are 37. It should be easy to just move on at this stage.

[Iquestioneverything]

When it comes to family it’s never that easy

[PeterLegg91]

Just agree to disagree and change the subject