True or false: exes can’t be friends?

[Anonymous]

Because one will always have lingering hope and when the other finds a new partner, they’ll cut off all contact with the person they stayed friends with for mainly emotional comfort

True

False

[Bitter_Sweet94]

False but with conditions.

Exes can be friends only if the romantic attachment is truly gone on both sides.

* No lingering hope.

* No hidden resentment.

* No emotional fallback.

If one person is still healing, still attracted, or secretly waiting for a second chance, it’s not friendship, it’s self betrayal.

Real friendship after a breakup requires

* clear boundaries

* emotional neutrality

* honesty about intentions


If those aren’t there, distance is healthier than pretending to be “mature.”

Not every connection is meant to be recycled.

Sometimes letting go is the most respectful choice.

[Keyboardkat]

If the breakup was mutual and amicable, then friendship is a possibility. But if one partner initiated the breakup and the other was heartbroken, then the answer is no. Certainly not initially. The wound is too fresh, the pain too intense. A broken heart is experienced the same way as a death. The one who left the relationship is the one who "died, " and the bereaved must take time to mourn the loss of the relationship, and grieve the loss of the person they loved. This cannot be rushed.

You cannot break someone's heart into smithereens and expect to be their "friend." The person who is broken does not WANT you as a friend. They want to have back again what you had before. If that is impossible, then the best thing you can do is leave them alone to mourn and to heal, and ultimately to move on. Trying to keep in contact is like repeatedly pulling off a scab. Don't do that!

[Levin]

I think that would take a lot of emotional maturity from both parties. Usually a clean break is needed because one person will often keep feelings, on the basis quite possibly, of how easy the dating world is to them and their options.

Having said that, if the foundation of any relationship is platonic affection, which arguably it should be, then if you're just amazing friends then maybe you can go back to that.

[Asker]

But still hard?

[HollyK21]

Personally I don’t even bother, because when I’m done with someone I need a clean break. But I have a few girlfriends who’ve tried this and honestly it’s never worked out. Either the guy always ends up trying to cross the line (flirting, touching, etc), or my friend still has feelings for him and hopes that things will change. It’s always ends up being a situationship, not a friendship. I think the only ways a friendship would work is if neither party has feelings for the other, or if enough time has passed.

[Asker]

And a jealous new partner doesn’t come on the scene. I’m curious - in the cases where your friends have still hoped, were your friends the dumpee?

[Summeroflove]

Genuinely depends on the situation. But it depends how the relationship ended. Look, some people aren’t compatible for a relationship but genuinely have a lot in common.

The issue is… Sometimes people will still sleep with one another. Including when inside committed relationships. As well as continue drama with one another. A lot of times it’s best to let someone go.

[EzraIsShy76028]

It's possible though it can be pretty hard to make it work. Though important to note not all exes end on bad terms as enemies. Depending on the relationship the exes can end on straight up good terms. In some cases it's as simple as "we're really good friends and do care about each other but we don't have a lot in common romantically or sexually, we work better as just really close friends instead."

[AviatorTom]

An Ex CAN be a friend but it's usually better if they are not. An ex knows too much about you that might affect your relationship with others, and might be tempting to no longer be an ex.

There's a good reason why the term "Ex" is used. It's in the past and should generally stay that way.

[Joshydavid25]

True for the most part, but with exceptions of course.. If both parties lost enough attraction and liked each other's people enough to remain friends it can definitely happen.. But for the most part there really is no point in remaining friends with a former lover..

[Iyaelsorai]

I was friends with all three of my girlfriends for a while after we broke up. One of them I'm friends with now, and we broke up 9 years ago. Two of them had another boyfriend at some point while we were friends.

[Iyaelsorai]

Oops, I mean we broke up 19 years ago.

[jennifer_bloom]

I view the last guy I dated as a distant brother now. Meaning, he is a person you would want to be happy and healthy, but you never talk to them because of distance and travelling costs.

[HighValue]

It just leads to problems for future relationships. Someone being in contact with an ex is unacceptable in a relationship.

[Ferngully2000]

I don’t think it’s that they can’t, so much as why would you want to. For me when a relationship ends, that’s it, I move on.
Unless I was heartbroken then the struggle is real.

[Nikki1989]

False. I am friends with all of my exes except one. My husband is the same.

[Drumlin2001]

It's not impossible, all depends on circumstances. But generally not a good thing. If kids invovled it's a bit different

[Evsisa]

I think maybe they can but I wouldn’t date a guy who’s friends with his ex. I wouldn’t take the risk and I’m too insecure.

[Anonymous]

I clicked true that's not true. Its false. I've been with my high-school sweetheart ex for years and he's married

[Asker]

Do you have mutual friends?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes why?

[Asker]

I think that’s the difference. I think it’s hard to stay friends with an ex unless you have mutual friends or a shared location like a club/college/work etc

[Opinion Owner]

Thats not necessarily true as I made the mutual friends through him...

[Opinion Owner]

They are more acquaintances than anything

[Asker]

But they are mutual friends nonetheless. And also were you friends first? Before you became lovers? I think that makes a difference too.

Either way I find the issue with staying friends is that it’s all fine until the dumper gets a new partner and then they cut off all contact breaking their exs heart twice

[zagor]

The recently-departed Rob Reiner stayed on good terms with his ex Penny Marshall until her death.

My sister keeps in touch with several of her old boyfriends.

[Miristheiss]

That may cause an issue with the new boyfriend/girlfriend.

[jamesgoldman]

False if you have mutual friends or were married for years

[Asker]

If you have mutual friends or a shared location then yes i can see that

[Twalli]

My sister is friends with an ex. They were essentially engaged before breaking up. It probably helps that he's married now and that they don't actually see each other, though.

[DrPepper12]

False false false. Maybe its true if you're in middle school

[LiamJHayden]

False. I have dated a few women where we enjoyed each others company but just did not click romantically. We are still friends.

[jahaims]

Opinions aren't true or false. Facts and fallacies are.

[Bloodparadise]

If they still feel they need each other in life, they would try to be friends

[ABC1x1x]

Im still best friend with all of my exes but one. I pick awesome women, it just didn't work out.

[blackeagle007]

Some people can. Me, I have no contact with any of mine

[admles]

I'm sure it can happen, it just really depends on the relationship and how it ended.

[heruncommonsense]

Males cannot be friends with women

[Asker]

Do you think?

[douride2]

For the most part it is true.

[Anonymous]

False, it's possible.