Is my ex really evil or am I overreacting?

[RealAdSz]

I was in a relationship with her for 10 years she's showed absolutely no interest in my best friend. But recently I have moved to Canada for studying and work, she made an ultimatum to me that I gave to leave Canada and come back to her or else she's going to marry my best friend. I told my best friend that she's saying this. He said he will NOT marry her and reassured that our friendship is worth more than her.
Just a few days ago I found out they got married in secret months ago and just now made it public. I was going to bring her here with me we could live a better life. But now she's done all this out of spite... Is she evil... Throws away a 10 year relationship over some unrealistic ultimatum and even marry's my best friend out of spite. What a bitch.

[WindAtMyBack]

We don't have a full background on what happened here. Some things are clear, and some is speculation.

In a ten year relationship all important decisions need to be made as a couple. Moving to Canada without a clear and realistic plan for continuing the relationship means that the relationship was not the highest priority. Maybe the move was justified, but lacking solid plans to keep the relationship going means the move was a higher priority.

On the other hand, it wouldn't surprise me if she had a thing for your friend before you moved. Maybe she was already cheating on you with him.

Again, it's speculation, but it sounds like she is just making an excuse to do what she already wanted to do, which is get with your friend. This is even more likely if you did have solid plans to continue the relationship after the move.

As far as I'm concerned a friend should NEVER get with their friend's girlfriend, especially when it's a ten year relationship. The only exception might be if they've been broken up a long time and the friend knows for sure that his friend is over it and OK with it.

You need to move on - from both exes. Yea it's plural.

After a few years, once you've had time to get over it and see things more clearly, you can look at your own role and learn from it. It's almost never one-sided, so I'm sure there are things you could have done differently. You can't anything about her or your friend, but you can do something about yourself.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It sounds like she never wanted to do long distance in the first place. I wouldn’t call that “evil” so much as just a poor match. Given your age and the fact that you said 10 year relationship, my guess is neither of you were really ready to commit to each other as adults as you were when you were kids and just started dating. You never really explored options with others who might have been better fits. You were two very different people back then compared to now and while I have no doubt you’re in a lot of pain, I also doubt she made that decision on a whim.

[SueShe]

It takes two to tango. Your best friend is not really as good as he seemed to be since he promised you that he will not marry her and yet, months later, he is.

He directly stabbed you in the back and you should also get rid of this friend that is a traitor to you. He was probably always trying to get at you and he found the perfect opportunity to do it.

Get rid of both of them as they have shown their true characters. Never let yourself be placed under pressure with blackmail.

Time to move ahead and learn your lesson.

[Cutegirl06]

I think she did you a favor and I would find a new best friend.

[Unycorn]

It doesn't matter.

Why waste time, energy and our time?

It is done and nothing can turn back time. So look forward never backward :).

Good luck.

[In_Trance]

Stop interacting with your ex