Are you really capable of being a good parent?

[Nikki1989]

[Amy10223]

I don't think parents can be "prefect". They can be loving, protective, and guiding, but sometimes a child's personality needs more guidance no matter what the parents do. I was a parent, and then a single parent for about 15 years, and it is the hardest job anyone can do. My girls were always first for me, and I was struct with them but not overly so. As they got older and developed habits I didn't like, it was very hard (playing loud music in a room was the worst thing, so it wasn't too bad). I did not have much support with their father in terms of time spent with them, and they grew up to resent that. I did the best, is all I can say, for a single parent trying to juggle parenthood and a teaching job as well. I remember many times I could not attend parent teacher meetings because I had them myself at the school where I taught. That was one of the hardest parts of seeing them grow up.

However even now, I still worry about them. You never cease to be a parent just because they dont live with you anymore.

[Crimsyjo]

Wise words x

[Amy10223]

@Crimsyjo Thanks.

[fantasticass]

Nope, I never wanted to be a, parent. I never wanted children, or the responsibility of being a parent. I love my freedom, and not being restricted by kids

[Nikki1989]

Same. I feel bad for it sometimes.

[fantasticass]

Nikki1989. Why feel bad? You should feel excited that you can choose whatever you want to do.

[sawno]

Health issue aside I think i'd actually be pretty good at it at least once the kid talks.
I briefly got a small taste of it (not my own kid and wasn't physically around, just advising and helping in the decision making), and my choices actually worked pretty well. I also understood the kid well when she was trying to communicate with me before being able to talk and got a really positive reaction when she finally felt understood by someone.

My style for raising a kid is a lot of empowering the kid to do what they want to do but in a healthy way. For example she began taking things apart, clearly demonstrating desire to understand how things were put together. Its not good to have all the items taken apart so I got her some 3D block puzzles a bit above her age as she was to young for that. Of course she was to young to fully complete them but it craved that itch to figure it out.

Similar situation for drawing on things she wasn't supposed to, I came up with the idea of solving that with pretty gel pen's. If she behaved she'd get a new pen set, and coincidentally that one made it easy to clean up if she did misbehave.

Naturally i'd ensure that it was done in such a way that bad behavior wasn't linked to gifts in her mind. Enough time would have past between the two events, but I always pay close attention to why a child is trying to do what they are doing and creating experiences in their life that match that. I'm the kind of parent who will work with you to let you learn the things you want to learn and who as long as you listen is very chill. I prefer being the good cop parent. But if you disobey I don't budge.

[MrChinaski]

The hardest part about parenting is that you don't get much opportunity to learn from your mistakes and get better at it. By the time you diagnose what you did right and wrong they have moved on to another developmental phase and it all becomes irrelevant knowledge. And people don't have 5, 6, 8 kids anymore so you have no way of using those learnings.

I feel like I have been a decent parent overall, but also flawed. They say you always stuff up your kids in precisely the opposite way that your parents stuffed up you. That's certainly true of my parenting of my daughter. My parents never pushed me to achieve anything, I pushed her too hard and contributed poorly to her health as a result. I won't say more, because that's her information not mine.

Loving and committing a ton of time, instruction, praise and creating opportunities for them to choose how they flourish is important. But there is really hard stuff to wade through too.

[live2dance25]

I’ve only ever been a stepfather and can say that I am a decent parent. My only worry is that no 2 kids are alike and if you get a juvenile delinquent or an abrasive personality, you’ll have to deal with that for life. Or perhaps worse if they end up on the news or in jail. I don’t know if I could deal with that if it happened to me.

[aaron13547]

I dont know. Everyone that knows me seems to think I would... People tend to be really surprised I dont have kids.

Im also really good with children, they always talk me into playing with them and i make a fool of myself, i fit right in lol. But, im good with kids because I know how much responsibility it takes... Thats also why I dont have any of my own.

maybe one day I'll find out. But, i could also be ok with not...

[Crimsyjo]

I've no idea. I sometimes wish I didn't bother. Yet I'll fight tooth and nail for them and support them no matter what.

But it's the most unrewarding, unrecognised yet difficult thing we ever do as a mother. Not so much for fathers. But mothers are treated like dirt and told its "your job to sacrifice"

Yh. I prob shouldn't have been a mother. But you don't know until it's too late and not like a doggy you can rehome cos they won't behave 😋

🤷‍♀️

[AviatorTom]

I have three grown kids, who are doing very well. There is no pre-requisite for parenting, and it's a learn-as-you-go job. I made some mistakes but overall I think I was, and am, a pretty good parent.

[RandomGirl42]

Omg, no. Even when I watch my young nieces they end up parenting me. Do you know how demoralizing it is to be put in timeout by a 7 year old? 😳

[elizamichale1]

Hehe nice pic illustration there

N well i think I am... some people woukd say i m not without asking or looking at how I care for or treat my boys.. they would just say k am not good coz of my profession... but I think i m doing good

[Simslover92]

I wanted a child but I'm starting to realize that may not be the best thing for me because I can be selfish at times and I honestly like my freedom and space. You can't really have that with a child.

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah.. I'm not the best parent ever but a way better one than most people I know and way better than my own parents..

[Phoenix98]

I'd like to think so. but I know I'll obviously make mistakes with my first kid since it's a learning experience and that will be my first time.

[Bricealan]

@Nikki1989 When I was married, my once married wife told me that I would be a 'wonderful parent". Just going on what she told me.

[lilBigPotato]

I think I can.. But definitely not wanting any kids right now but when the time comes I think I can be a good mother.

[Tarifa]

There is no manual for being a parent. You take your baby home after it was born in the hospital and from there on, you have to learn step by step. But it's an amazing journey I wouldn't want to have missed.

[Abbycado]

Think I would be. Mostly likely won’t have kids.

[AngryCarl2]

Categorically not. At best I'd be an example to my kids of what to avoid.

[Wiredone]

I think my wife and I raised our kids well.

[TallAnon]

Yeah, I think so; But I would definitely have a hard time on my own; It's a two person job for sure

[V1ka5h]

I'm not married yet, but whenever the time will come I'll do my best.

[loveslongnails]

I think I'd be an awful parent, but that's probably because I don't want to be one. A man's gotta know his limitations!!

[Agape93]

Absolutely fucking not.

[Apple1996]

Yes im already a good parent to my boys

[queenofcardio]

I practically raised my neices so yes

[MemeSupreme]

right now, no, but hopefully in the future

[RCONFIGURATION1]

I think I will make a pretty good parent

[fish5505_87]

I hope so, He's 8!

[CubaPirate]

Been there done that

[Bklynbadboy12]

I think i would be a great parent

[TwoDecisions]

Yes.

[Nerdvana]

Yes I am