Full time working moms: is having kids worth it?

[Anonymous]

My fiance and I are planning on marrying so we both can have kids in a few years. He wants me to work cuz he can't support a family by himself. I do make very good money. But the question is... is it worth it to work full time then come home to have to work more to finish all the child care and housework? I've heard nightmare stories of where moms who work full time are killing themselves with 22 hour days, barely having much time to enjoy the kids.

I also don't know if I can deal with having no sleep tending to the crying baby all night then have to rush back to work 7am the next morning on NO SLEEP.

There is no point to having kids if I'm just a non stop working myself to death and yet barely have time to enjoy the kids.

Is it worth it? Or should I save myself and just not have kids?

[ohsheeT]

No no no you dont

A relationship takes 2 people having kids takes 2 people owning a home takes 2 people paying for insurance takes 2 people, saving money takes 2 people so these 2 people do this for a period of time and mean it when they're doing it, to get ahead of the game, have great insurance because There will become a point where you will be at work because you have to recover

Words are just words. He has to be able to convict you 100%. That's not going to leave you hanging. You just working and him taking care of the kids, I don't think so, you don't have kids until you're until you have at least $300000 in the bank. Your house is paid for your cars are paid for you can't go in there half a** Because\nYou will be the one paying for it. All. Forget that


There's no way that you're going to work full-time and come home and babysit your kids and feed your husband number one, that's b******* That's why there's 2 of you fifty-fifty each, and every moment of each and every day, if it's not going to be that way. Then it's not going to be that way , and you have to make other rules

And it's not going to be that way. And then he changes the plans on you, no, you have to say, no, you have to become strong. What is right is right what is wrong is wrong when it's fair is fair, love is love and you prove it to each other by the things that you do for each other, not for the things that you put off on the other Make sure you have a good game plan. Make sure this guy is the guy that you truly love, pay attention to everything going on, when you see things that are starting to change, don't be afraid to say something, say something get it out in the air in the open. Because if you let something start happening over into, then it becomes normal for the other. Person and they're going to say, what what are you talking about? F*** that f*** them

Remember you're the ones going to have the babies and our court system because of the rich and wealthy it's always been towards the man, the women get the kids and suffer because of money and the man keeps on living his life, f*** them, f*** him. F*** the rules make your own rules

That's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come homeThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home toThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunchThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kiThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kidsThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husbandThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watchingThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t vThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eatingThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popcornThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popcorn on the coucThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popcorn on the couchThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popcorn on the couch f***That's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popcorn on the couch , f*** himThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popcorn on the couch , f*** him tooThat's why I say you have to be thinking ahead at all times I say good luck, I hope everything works out for you but no, it cannot be that way. You do not work 8:12 hours a day. Come home to a bunch of screaming kids and husband watching t v eating popcorn on the couch , f*** him too

[Asker]

there is no such thing as 50/50. Mothers are more attached to their babies than fathers. Mothers stay up all night to breastfeed, not fathers. Housework is largely a woman's work, not a man's work. This is why forcing moms to work is so INHUMANE.

After childbirth, if I suffer injuries or have post partum depression, I need time to HEAL, go to therapy if I need it. I can't rush to work a few weeks later and just work 24 hour days. I am not a man. I'm not a father. I am a woman who needs to rest.

[ohsheeT]

I will agree with you on your second paragraph. 100%, you're 100%, right? And you're good for looking ahead at that, because the odds of that happening are high and yes, you're right, it's not fifty-fifty, it's 100 100 because when one person can't pool their 50, the other person. Pulls the 100.

If woman is staying at home to raise her children , then I will agree with you on everything , but if you're not going to be staying home , he needs to help you fifty fifty and step up

And you're right after having the baby , it's going to deplete you every single vitamin in your body is going to be gone , you're going to be vitamin 0. With nothing inside your system anymore, you're right. You have to rest, you have to take care of your body. Yes, take care of your mental health. And if you have postpartum, it's going to suck all the way around for everybody, because it's a hard thing to get out of\n That's why you have to really think about what you're actually going to be doing Because\n You don't need to do it that way. You need to do it in a way that is going to benefit you both, but he has to be there for you. I don't care what you said and yes, you're the mom.\n That everything that you said that you have or mom's have believe me. So do dads, I'm a dad, I was a single dad. So there were moments in time where I had to become a mom to\n O, that's the most important thing that you said out of the whole thing is taking care of yourself, because without you, there's no relationship, there's no family, there's no love. It just depends on what type of guy he is, and if he can see that or not,

[Asker]

even when it is 50/50, he does his share- which is unlikely, it still would be very hard. I have never seen a man actually pull 50% with the child care.

In other countries, new mothers get 4-6 MONTHs to heal and do nothing. Over here in the US, women are given a mere few weeks to a month to rest then rush back to work. 3-4 months maternity leave. Last 3 months of pregnancy women can't even go to work, leaving just 1 month on average to heal after she pops out the baby.

I honestly don't know if I can do it. I have been through enough stress in my life

[ohsheeT]

Well my ex wife had postpartum
So I took over right in there
About four years later we got divorced and I still took over because I wanted him to be the best and he could possibly be, and that's how we turned out. He's a fireman paramedic, 67. He's a big buff , good looking boy and he's smart and he has it together

And that's just because he came first i was beat when I was a kid from my stepdad. From 2 years old are not too safe.5 to ten years old they got divorced when I was 10. When I was 16, my mom got married again. And that guy tried to put his hands-on me that didn't work, but I moved out 2 weeks later. But after I had my son, I wanted to show my stepdad. You don't have to yell, scream, hit cuss hurt a child to discipline them or to teach them. And that's exactly what I did is none of the above. I gave him responsibilities if he did something wrong but I can feel your energy right now, and you are a good person. You have a beautiful heart , but you're not sure of where you guys are headed

And to be honest, just the worry alone of having a child right now is draining you right now at this moment. Because you want to please him and make him happy that something in your body is telling you no , don't do it , you're not ready for. And that's because, you know, right now, what your future is going to be, maybe that marriage isn't going to last. So, you know, right now, unconsciously or subconsciously the truth and what's going to happen and you're hurting yourself right now, you're wearing yourself out. But I think about it too deep

[Miristheiss]

How ate you going to work with kids?

They need mom for those first few years. Do not say you are going to work... to PAY STRANGERS to raise your kids as they try to watch multiple kids at daycare.

My wife works. She quit when we had kids. She went back when the kids were SCHOOL AGE.

It will work. Dad can get a second job if needed.

[Asker]

there is no guarantee that I will be able to get back my job after I give birth. Good jobs are hard to find. Once you leave, there is no guarantee you can get it back

[Miristheiss]

Good luck getting a GUARANTEE in life!!!
Guarantee? You have got to be kidding me.
Are you that hung uo on one company? I have changed companies 3 times.

You want guarantees huh?

[Asker]

@miristheiss

good jobs are hard to find. if you want to be stuck with a shit job that you're not happy with for the rest of your life... then go ahead.

people don't tend to leave good jobs.

[Miristheiss]

Feminism in a nut shell.
Being an 80 year old woman on her deathbed, with no lineage, no family to take care of her, no legacy other then "I had a good job".

It is bad to do what God made you for... having families. Now that there is the pill and a rich society full of a/c cooled office jobs at computers... stop having families.
Jobs are your life priority.
That is fulfillment.

[Asker]

@miristheiss

Easy for you to say when you're not the one suffering having to carry and birth your kids then have them rip yourself open pooping out the kid. Then doing 90% of all the childcare, housework for the next 30 years. Then having little to nothing saved up for retirement cuz your kid sucked you dry

[Miristheiss]

That demonic, degenerate lie they shoved down womens' throats in the 70's sure indoctrinated you.
Victim complex on display.

[Asker]

@miristheiss

I work as a nurse to a 7 year old child whose mother DIED birthing him

[Miristheiss]

And?
The human race should stop having kids because of rare cases?

[Asker]

@miristheiss

its not rare actually.

when I was in nursing school, interning at the hospital, another mom died after giving birth. the baby was left without a mother or a father.

[DishLady]

Look... if you're asking the question then don't do it... DON'T have kids you're going to add to your pile of tasks and chores.

I loved being a mom -- and my now-grown people are a constant source of love and joy even if we're apart. But I also always knew I'd be a mom. So if that's not something you want... don't do it. It breeds resentful and dysfunctional people and if you just stop and look around, we're at capacity with those. No need to add more suffering to the world.

I loved being a working mom and had a nice network of people to connect with.

Not everyone understands the journey... it's not a life they'd choose. You have to be strong... and not everyone is... or wants to be. You have to be clever... and not everyone is... or wants to be. You have to be kind... and not everyone is... or wants to be. You have to be flexible... and not everyone is... or wants to be...

There's more, but you get the gist.

[Asker]

I do want to be a mom BUT there are so many working moms who are telling me to never have kids and that I will regret it one day

Having worked so incredibly hard to get myself into a good career, good financial standing... I don't know how much longer I can go without sleep after the baby comes out...

I don't know if I can do it. Would I be able to survive working 24 hour days? I'm exhausted after a 9 hour work day... I don't know if I can continue doing child care and housework

Not being able to have a financially adequate providing husband makes being a mom so much harder

[Anonymous]

lol break up. Might as well be a single mom than being married to a guy like that

[Asker]

Unfortunately in vast majority of marriages, moms do 75-95% of the child care.
This is why 70% of divorces are initiated by women

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. Marry a man. Not a child. Lol

[Asker]

All the men are like that

[exitseven]

My wife stayed home for 11 years because we did not want to stick our kids in daycare. I was not a big earner and my wife could have gotten a good job someplace. It was a struggle but we have no regrets.

[Asker]

so did you kids go to college?
you're 54, so living on a single income was more doable years ago back then compared to now.

[exitseven]

my 3 kids went to college. The last one just graduated. Living on a single income was no picnic.

[DextroShade]

You would be better off quitting your job or working only part-time so you could be a mother to your children instead of handing them off strangers so you can whatever useless Jew daycare job you are currently doing

[Asker]

well if men made more money, i would be able to stay at home.

[Staximus]

Your bum fiance is just going to have to get a better job, or he's going to have to wake up with the baby while you sleep

[Staximus]

If a couple can't afford for one of them to stay home with the kids for the first few years before they are in school then they don't belong having kids. You can't put a newborn in daycare unless you're a retarded psychopath, toddlers need their parents around all the time unless you want somebody else racing your kids and forming their mind for you

[Asker]

a lotta kids get abused at daycares

[Staximus]

Exactly, you don't want some daycare screwing up your kid's mind for the rest of their life

[Imjustagirl1520]

If its a maybe, its a no.

[Anonymous]

NO IT IS NOT