Single mother by choice and wondering how to explain that I want to continue using my stored embryos?

[Anonymous]

Im not opposed to having children with a partner but in also not ready to give up my stored embryos. Im not sure how to explain my decision

Updates

4 mo

Im not opposed to having children with a partner but i'm also not ready to give up my stored embryos. Im not sure how to explain my decision

[Anonymous]

To the people who think it is a good thing to have kids when you are too old... you won't be able to retire, ok? Imagine you at 50 years old, achy knees, fatigue, wishing you could retire in 10 years... with a baby that is crying all night, keeping you up all night long with no sleep, then you have to rush back to work at 7am the next morning.

do you really want to go through this? work till the day you die to support your kid through college? Being unable to keep up with parenting your child because its too much for you to physically / mentally deal with?

Have those kids while you are young... otherwise you will be in for a very hard time.

[Light_beam]

Yea sure.. having a bastard is always a good decision..

[Opinion Owner]

@Light_beam

Did you know Barack Obama, kamala Harris, jd Vance all grew up without father's?

They were all bastards

[Light_beam]

Oh great.. so the whole world should have bastards.. i get your point

[Opinion Owner]

@Light_beam

when a bastard is more successful than you... thats when the real embarrassment sets in

[Light_beam]

Lol, he is still a bastard like YOU 😀

[Opinion Owner]

@Light_beam

I'd rather be a winner bastard as president than to be you.

[Light_beam]

okay bastard :D

[Anonymous]

If you are not sure how to explain your decision to someone else, it means you yourself don't understand your motivations. You should not CHOOSE to go into single parenthood without understanding why you want to. in my opinion, no one should ever CHOOSE to be a single parent. A child deserves a mother and a father. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way, but it should never be by choice.

[Avicenna]

Well, assuming you're going to be having this conversation with a potential partner or an actual one, you might want to go into it knowing what your partner wants.

[RavVid]

Hmmh you want a future partner to not only take on your child but accept no genetic contribution to future children.

Practice talking really fast is my suggestion.

[madhatters4]

i think we need to know the reason to help you explain it. if you are unsure of your reason then that is good enough. they're your stored embryos you don't really need a reason aside from, 'i want to continue storing them'

[Anonymous]

Don't have children without a partner who you are in a committed relationship with (preferably marriage) and who you are not confident will stick around for the long term and be a good father to your children.

This is about the children, not you. Do what's right by them.

[nastyb]

having a father really won't guarantee good outcomes. Just the same way being raised by a single mom doesn't guarantee bad outcomes. I've met tons of kids born to two parent households who are the most irresponsible, unmotivated, spoiled brats on earth

[Kelley1]

@nastyb That is a lie and you know it.

[nastyb]

@OlderAndWiser. @Kelley1

Did you know Barack Obama, kamala Harris, jd Vance all grew up without father's?

They were all raised in financially stable homes by single moms

The data statistics that single moms raise criminals is all due to the fact that single mother households are much more likely to be under poverty. Not due to the fact they were raised by single moms.

You all need to stop pushing the narrative that a child born to a single mom is guaranteed to be doomed. There are leaders at the highest office raised by single moms

[OlderAndWiser]

@nastyb A few examples who you claim to know doesn't disprove the statistics. You don't prove a general proposition with anecdotal evidence.

[Opinion Owner]

@nastyb Is it possible to raise a child successfully without a father? Sure, it happens. But the evidence is overwhelming that children raised by two parents, a mother and a father, fair far better than children raised by single mothers.

deeperwalk.com/.../Statistics-on-Fathering.pdf

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

The data statistics that single moms raise criminals is all due to the fact that single mother households are much more likely to be under poverty. Not due to the fact they were raised by single moms.

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

By the way, ELON MUSK was raised by a single mom too

Kids born to financially stable single moms tend to do well in life

But the fact is vast majority of kids born to single moms tend to be under poverty. Poverty drives crime, not single motherhood

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

Those who grow up with single mothers with adequate socioeconomic resources tend to do well. The children of poor single mothers are more at risk," Biblarz says. "Many of the results that say that kids are at increased risk for negative outcomes have to do with economics."

abcnews.com/.../story?id=5687285

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

Kearney notes that families headed by a single mother are five times more likely to live in poverty than families headed by a married couple.

www.npr.org/.../single-parent-married-good-for-children-inequality

[Opinion Owner]

@nastyb Like I said, it's not impossible to raise a child successfully without a father. It does happen. But the odds are against it. The fact that single mothers are far more likely to be impoverished is one reason, but there are plenty of other reasons. Choosing to raise a child without a father is a decision driven by pure selfishness.

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

but you're not acknowledging the fact that MANY single parent households are also headed by financially stable single moms.

If this question asker is financially stable, there is a very high chance that her kid might end up being the next president or CEO one day

Bill clinton was also raised by a single mom...

the list of presidents , vice presidents, CEOs raised by single moms are endless.

you can't go around insisting that almost all single moms can't raise successful kids.

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

Bad outcomes are the result of poverty, not single motherhood. Understand that.

[Opinion Owner]

@nastyb I have already acknowledged all of that. I'm not sure what else you want. If you think you're going to change my mind, you're mistaken

Look, no woman chooses to be a single mother and goes into it thinking she will fail. Just like you, they all think they will be the exception. It's like taking drugs thinking you're the only one who won't get hooked. But in your case, you're not just playing with your own life, you're fucking with your child's, for selfish reasons.

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

there is a huge difference between a single mother who was forced into it by a man who abandoned her and her kids... her never being prepared for this type of life... her without a financially good paying job to support her kids... hates her kids cuz she never wanted this type of life

VERSUS

a woman who chose single motherhood because she WANTED it. She loves her kids unconditionally, has enough money saved up to raise her kids, has a financially good paying job, can provide her kids everything they need. These kids are loved, pampered, cared for by a mom that WANTED THEM. A mom who wanted this type of single mother life.

Not all single moms are struggling women, where men abandoned them, under poverty who hate their lives and hate their kids.

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

dont you think kids would fare wayy better being raised by a single mom who has the resources to raise her kids, loves her kids, sees them as a blessing VERSUS a woman FORCED into single motherhood, being abandoned by a broke baby daddy, not have the money to raise her kids, hating her kids?

how can you insist those are both the same things with the same outcomes?

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

I, myself, was raised in a two parent household... my dad being toxic, bad tempered, with emotional dysregulation issues. I can confidently say that I would've been better off without a father. I'd rather have no father than a bad father. I would've been better off being raised by a loving, happy, single mother home than to be raised with that kind of a father in the house.

Its more about quality of a parent than quantity of parents.

[slatyb]

You don't have to explain your decision. Perhaps you will be single as some point and wanting to have a child.

[Mike_Hum]

you are putting your children at a disadvantage by not having a father for them. You didn't create those embryos yourself.

[Hagar88]

You dont have to explain your decision as you are a single mother. Who are you to explain it to?

[OlderAndWiser]

Explain to who? You want to have babies as a single mother? You don't care about your children having a father?

[nastyb]

having a father is not everything. Just the same way there are many two parent households who can't afford to feed their kids. Just the same way many two parent households raise the most irresponsible, spoiled, unmotivated kids. You will never have everything in life. And sometimes having "everything" leads to very spoiled, lazy children

[OlderAndWiser]

@nastyb I could respond with the statistics on children raised in single parent homes, but I suspect you don't want to hear any of it.

[Kelley1]

She doesn't want to hear and will automatically reject it. That is obvious from her false claims.

[nastyb]

@OlderAndWiser

@Kelley1

Did you know Barack Obama, kamala Harris, jd Vance all grew up without father's?

They were all raised in financially stable homes by single moms

The data statistics that single moms raise criminals is all due to the fact that single mother households are much more likely to be under poverty. Not due to the fact they were raised by single moms.

You all need to stop pushing the narrative that a child born to a single mom is guaranteed to be doomed. There are leaders at the highest office raised by single moms

[OlderAndWiser]

@nastyb Did you now that a few examples don't disprove statistics? Did you read what I wrote, or did you read two words and just get triggered? I NEVERr said that growing up in a single parent home GUARANTEES failure. Making that claim is a juvenile trick to pull in an argument,

[nastyb]

@OlderAndWiser

NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR STATISTICS.

YOUR STATISTICS DONT PROVE THAY EVERY CHILD BORN TO A SINGLE PARENT HOME TEND TO BE CRIMINAL.

KIDS BORN TO FINANCIALLY STABLE SINGLE MOMS TEND TO DO WELL IN LIFE

[nastyb]

Kids born to financially stable single moms tend to do well in life

But the fact is vast majority of kids born to single moms tend to be under poverty. Poverty drives crime, not single motherhood

[nastyb]

@OlderAndWiser

ELON MUSK was also raised by a single mom

[OlderAndWiser]

@nastyb. https://share.google/bcmwiqj0AcsfzA6e0

[nastyb]

@OlderAndWiser

Seems like the fact kids CAN do well being born to financially stable single moms offends you

[nastyb]

Those who grow up with single mothers with adequate socioeconomic resources tend to do well. The children of poor single mothers are more at risk," Biblarz says. "Many of the results that say that kids are at increased risk for negative outcomes have to do with economics."

abcnews.com/.../story?id=5687285

[nastyb]

Kearney notes that families headed by a single mother are five times more likely to live in poverty than families headed by a married couple.

www.npr.org/.../single-parent-married-good-for-children-inequality

[OlderAndWiser]

@nastyb. Seems to me you are just triggered. No need to prolong this meaningless harangue.

[nastyb]

@OlderAndWiser

Well seems like you see I do have a good point

You're just offended that kids can do equally as well without dads

Yes, we have a whole line of very successful people who grew up without dads

[Kelley1]

@nastyb A tiny minority of people have succeeded in spite of being raised by a single but never because of it.

[nastyb]

@Kelley1

No definitely not a tiny minority.

Financially stable single moms tend to raise equally successful children

Except the majority of single mother households are under poverty

[nastyb]

@Kelley1

Did you know Jeff bozos, the CEO of Amazon was abandoned by his father when he was a kid?

Did you know Elon musk was raised by a single mom?

[nastyb]

Did you know Jeff bozos, the CEO of Amazon was abandoned by his father when he was a kid?

[OlderAndWiser]

@nastyb That's what you tell yourself to protect an obvious fragile ego. Saying it repeatedly, or loudly, won't make it true.

I don't want too hear any more from you. You are not the Asker and I did not solicit your input, so grow up and just stop this nonsense.

[nastyb]

@OlderAndWiser

just look at the link i showed you

the only one with a fragile ego is you'

the idea that kids can still be well off without fathers is what you hurts your ego

it diminishes you as a male

[nastyb]

Bill Clinton: The 42nd U. S. President was raised by his widowed mother, Virginia Clinton Kelley.

www.google.com/search

[nastyb]

its pretty COMMON for super successful CEOs and politicians to be raised by single moms.
including bill clintion, kamala harris, barack obama, JD vance, elon musk, jeff bezos

how many more do we need to add to the list?

and you're sitting here claiming that kids born to single moms are DOOMED.

[OlderAndWiser]

@nastyb What part of "I don't want too hear any more from you" do you not understand? Is your reading comprehension that poor, or do you have a compulsion to have the last word?

STOP!

[Avicenna]

You can't say someone was raised by a single mom if they had a stepfather almost all the time like Bezos or some of the time like Obama, or the married grandparents played a strong role in raising the child when the mother was off somewhere else (Obama).

[truthteller234]

@Avicenna

obama's step father didn't give a shit about him.

obama didn't have his married grandparents for MOST of his childhood.

bill clinton was raised by a single mom too

kamala harris was raised by a single mom. No her mother never ever remarried.

JD vance was raised by a single mom. His mom never remarried either.

[truthteller234]

@Avicenna

you're also an idiot if you think most step fathers love their step children. MOST DO NOT. These so called "Step fathers" see these step kids as pets rather than actual children.

[LiamJHayden]

Don't. If you marry and you "run out" and you and your husband want children you can reveal. Otherwise no one needs to know except you.

[Light_beam]

Embryos? Or ova? You don't even know the difference.. well, if you wanna have a bastard child what can we do? .. Hey mom.. who is my father? Well son, you don't have one.. it will be so amazing...

[Snowman84]

Hopefully you don’t live in a Republican controlled state, they’ll force you to implant all those frozen embryos

[Anonymous]

I've always been wary of IVF as a societal thing 🌎🌍
🔭 🧪

[Ariesman81]

I pity the fool

[beefcakebradybatson]

How's that little lad?

[Agape93]

You don't need to

[jshm2]

You don't

[Anonymous]

The exact same way you did just now