Is it fair to end a friendship if my friends hug everyone except me?

[Anonymous]

I'm friends with two girls at university and I'm asking about what the title says.

[OneViewpoint]

I can't relate. I have the opposite problem, I don't like people hugging me. There's a group of married women I run into a lot and they all want to hug me every time they see me. But I've trained them to NOT do that. Except for one who thinks it's fun to push my buttons. Anyway the hurt is more of a problem for them, LOL.

So, is it a "you" problem? Do you give off a vibe that hugging is uncomfortable for you? Are you slow to engage in a hug? Nervous? Awkward? Maybe they're picking up on that. How long have you known them vs the people thy do hug? Ask them why they treat you differently. Gauge their response. Then make your decision.

To be clear, I will hug people with no hesitation. But it's people I've known for probably 5-10 years and have some history with. It's just casual friends that I don't know well where it feels like an insincere "Hollywood Hug" and "Air Kisses". If it doesn't feel natural and organic, I have a really hard time faking it.

[Little_Bumblebee]

How close friends are you, and have you asked them why they don't hug you?
Would you have this problem if it was guys?

You can end a relationship for whatever reason you feel is valid.

But it's also okay for people to not wanting to hug

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You can do what you like, nobody can stop you if you’re really so butthurt over girls having physical boundaries with you

[Asker]

Great, I was worried it might be coercive because I mentioned it to other people and they told me it wasn't right because that would be coercion or because it's their right not to do it

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Oh it absolutely is their right to refuse to do it. You dropping them as friends over the fact that they won’t hug you is ultimately to their benefit considering how selfish you are with this sense of entitlement to their bodies.

[Asker]

Why would it be selfish to do so? Would you say it's selfish to end a friendship if someone didn't talk to you regularly, or didn't reply regularly, or anything that involves doing a specific thing? Why would it be different in this case if I still respect their right but give importance to how I feel?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think it’s entitlement because you wouldn’t care about hugs if it was two men. The only reason we’re talking about this at all is because they’re women showing a form of affection to others and not you.

[Asker]

No, that's not it, I would have reacted the same way. Why do we have to assign a gendered meaning to this?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Look, your feelings are valid and all that, but I also think your absence from their lives will make it objectively better so just stop being friends with them.

[CriminallyInsane]

You're not obligated to be friends with anyone you don't want to be. The reason doesn't matter.

[jahaims]

Lmfao salty you are friend zoned

[Asker]

wtf are you talking?

[In_Trance]

Lame

[Sammy098]

Yes.