How do you grieve when someone you love passes away?

Question

My grandfather passed away and it's hit me hard. That's why I haven't really been on here these past few days.  But anyways, how do you guys grieve?

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

When grandma died, I decided to write a list of all of my memories of being here at her house over the decades. I printed out several copies and handed them out to everyone at the funeral.
When dad died 11 years later, I cried like a baby even though he treated me awful most of my life!!
When my brother jumped off a bridge a few years later, because he'd become such a raging asshole, I had no feelings at all for him but, at the service, I sat next to mom and put my arm around her the whole time. Probably the first time I'd ever done something like that with her since I was little.
When mom died 10 years after dad, because of all the shit my ex-sisters put me through immediately after and ever since her death, I just COULDN'T cry at all!!! I was probably just too pissed off at them to feel hurt over mom's death.
When my singer died a few years before mom, I did a tiny bit of crying at his wake but, with everyone there celebrating his life, I didn't start crying until I was asked to get up and say a few words about him.
When my guitarist died a couple years after mom, I had my aunt drive me to the funeral but never really got the chance to see him for more than a few seconds because there were nearly 100 people there in a VERY LONG line waiting to see him and my aunt couldn't wait the hour or two for me to get through the line. I got in line and waited about 20:00 and probably only moved about 10 feet so, I just went past the casket a few feet away and then left.
When my aunt died a year or so later, I cried a good bit because she was the last member of my close family and, now that she's gone, I have NO ONE to talk to or help me get to where I need to go!! I held her hand when she breathed hher last. I also did with mom.

Xawyx-2 · Accepted Answer

It depends on who passed away, it can be either A, B, or C.

I'm sorry for your grandpa. My dad passed away too, he had cancer, but he actually died from heart attack (in February).

My grandparents all passed away about two decades ago, some of them even earlier.

But my grand grandmother, and my grand grand grandmother both lived to be almost 100 years old (95, and 97).

beebella · Accepted Answer

Sorry for your loss. ❤️

We lost both my sister and my dad last year. They passed a little less than 3 months apart, so kind of a double whammy. Their deaths hit me differently, I think, because of what my relationships with them were like AND how they died. Besides the fact that my sister and I hadn't talked much over the past few years, we did have a really great relationship. She did a lot for me in more ways than she probably ever realized, but I also feel like we didn't have enough time together. So, when she passed, it completely devastated me. Whereas with my dad, I had kind of been mentally preparing for it for a really long time, just because of his life choices. His death wasn't totally out of the blue, we had a little bit of time to prepare for it (as weird as that is to say). And I had more time with my dad than I did with my sister. With my dad, there isn't much that feels unresolved like there is with her.
As far as actually grieving, I'm just feeling things as they come. It's been hitting me more lately, as this first year without them goes along, but for the most part, I think I'm doing ok.

jazzy34 · Accepted Answer

1.) I’m sorry for your loss.

2.) Grief looks different for everyone. There’s no “right way” to grieve. As long as you’re not breaking laws or doing harm to yourself or others, grieve however you see fit. I will say this, though. If your grief becomes too much for you to bare alone, reach out for help and talk with someone who cares. If you can’t afford therapy right now, start with contacting 988. It’s absolutely free. Either way, take care of yourself. 🙏🏽❤️

Tarifa · Answer

Tears will come easily. But eventually, you'll see the positive side of things.

I never knew one of my grandmothers (my father's mother), she passed away before I was born. I only have pictures and the stories my grandfather, her partner, has told me.

I barely knew one of my grandfathers (my mother's father), as he passed away when I was five. I have a couple of vivid memories, one of the them -- the last one -- when he was being attended by two nurses in the hospital.

I was lucky enough to have my other two grandparents until a respectable age of 95 and 98.

exitseven · Answer

Mt best friend died over two years ago. He had moved away during covid but we emailed each other. He was suffering from cancer but the last I heard the treatments were going good. Then the emails stopped. I did not hear from him on my birthday and Christmas. I poked around online and found his obit. None of his sisters even bothered to tell me. A am still really unable to process it. It is like when he moved he no longer existed but that is not the way I felt. I had planned on driving to Florida when I retired and planned on stopping to see him on the way. i just read a book that included the quote. "Your friends know all your stories. Your best friend has lived them with you." I almost cried.

ret04 · Answer

I lost my mom in February out of nowhere, and I can't describe it as anything other than tremendous pain. She was the most important person ever in my life, my best friend, my support system and now there's just no meaning for me that's left in the world. I feel like I'm dying every single day, a slow torturous death. I'm left in a world full of people that feels so incredibly empty.

I don't know if I'm grieving or dying, but the idea of living moving on is not an option I'm willing to accept. I'd rather die, but all the rest will always just be torment.

MissSunshine2 · Answer

I tend to be someone who takes a long time to process grief. I bury it deep. I seem fine, but I’m having nightmares and morbid thoughts for a while or post traumatic stress disorder, if someone died badly.

I’m really sorry for your loss.

AviatorTom · Answer

When my father died, and then my mother, several years later, I grieved by thinking of the great times we had together. I didn't emphasize mu=y sadness, rather I stressed the good memories of my father and I going to baseball games together, of the interesting dinners my mother cooked.

Think of the positives, not the negatives.

Shiprex · Answer

Sorry to hear that @simslover92 . I lost all my grandparents long ago and my father a few years ago. My best friend too.  Grieving is a very personal thing. Each of us has to work through the emotional storm we go through for us to come to terms with the gap left behind.  I spent a lot of time just thinking about them and getting sad and allowing that sadness to shape my memories of them.  It's not easy but you're gonna get through it.

spartan55 · Answer

First of all, sorry for your loss. The feeling you have will get better. Second, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is unique to every individual. Never feel guilty about how you grieve. Take care and put yourself first.

Bricealan · Answer

@simslover92 The most recent death was my brother. I was trying to help him up until the last few days of his life and I was so busy doing that I think I was just numb from it all. After he died it was a relief in a way because he was suffering from pain in so many ways and was also suffering from some mental disorder that was never diagnosed.  He left no will, that I could find, and his estate was quite large, and the state of Georgia would have taken it all, when he died and I spent a lot of time establishing a Trust Fund for him if he had lived longer and needed long-term care.  The fact that I was not with him when he died will bother me until I die.

RavVid · Answer

First of all I let myself grieve and feel hurt. If your grandfather meant something to you it is right to grieve and it is a wholesome thing.

Second I make it more about remembering what that person was to me and their qualities and make it more of a remembrance of them.

whosnumber_1 · Answer

My heart felt condolences. I am really sorry to hear about your loss. That's such a hard thing to give space to, when you loose someone. Reach out for love from friends and family and remember the love you shared with him.

MrChinaski · Answer

Sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You grieve by letting others support you—or by being alone when you need it. You need both.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Lots of crying, a little reminiscing, accepting the reality of what can’t be changed, cycle through a bit of guilt, and then take up a new hobby

Circushowcowboy · Answer

Aww I’m sorry to hear that I lost my grandpa a few years ago, it’s tough.  🤗

Agape93 · Answer

I give myself a week to feel the absence. I think of times we had, and when Samhain comes, I say my goodbyes, then move on.

ohsheeT · Answer

With love and memories tears some laughter pain and sadness and knowing energy doesn't die

FreyaRed · Answer

Cry for 2-4 minutes, than I switched to normal life goes further mode.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Keeping their memory alive, praying for them and maybe at first feel the urge to cry and feel very sad... Death is horrible even if we believe that there is an afterlife...

Staff2002 · Answer

Cry laugh cause at times think of times they made me laugh. Especially the good stories. But depends the closeness.

mrkdvsn · Answer

So far, I haven't been greatly impacted by anyone's death. When I am, then I guess I'll find out

msc545 · Answer

Pretty much all of the above but only temporarily. It gradually fades over time although it never fully goes away.

dudeinohio · Answer

I seem to hold all emotion in and just stomp it down.

Dnice1 · Answer

Cry, listen to music and spend lots of time with family

ella617281 · Answer

Try to write your feelings down or listen to music, it both really helps

Jeff51 · Answer

We all grieve differently. I think of memories when mom and grandma died.

sage2021 · Answer

I'm sure that Bob will comfort you!

DavyD65 · Answer

You grieve in your own way. There is no right or wrong way, no timescale.

lilBigPotato · Answer

Lucky I haven't had to find out yet.

slatyb · Answer

No idea, hasn't happened yet.

fish5505_87 · Answer

I also listen to sad songs, lol!

NathanDavis · Answer

not well...

How do you grieve when someone you love passes away?

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