What kind of parent r u or do u think u’ll become someday and what experiences, values, boundaries, or fears shape the way u want to raise your child?

Question

For those who are already parents, what kind of parent are you with your children, more chill, strict, protective, emotionally open, or somewhere in between?

What are some things you’re okay with your kids doing, and what are the things you would never be okay with? Why?

And for those who haven’t become parents yet, what kind of parent do you think you’ll become someday?

I’m curious because I think the way people choose to raise their children often reflects their own life experiences, values, wounds, boundaries, fears, and the kind of love they wished they had growing up.

Some people want to give their kids freedom, some prioritize discipline, some focus on emotional safety, and some try to balance all of it together.

So I’d genuinely love to hear everyone’s perspective and the reasons behind it.

Orion84 · Accepted Answer

I'm not technically a parent, but I was with my ex for 13 years, and helped her raise her two children from toddlers to teenagers, so I feel qualified as a pseudo-stepdad.

It's difficult to use simple descriptions to categorize how I am/was as a "parent," but I think the most important trait that I brought to the role was trust. I wanted them to trust me, and I wanted to be able to trust them. I wanted them to know that they could tell me anything, and could always come to me, no matter what.

I didn't treat them as if they couldn't make their own decisions, and I encouraged them to do so. I offered advice, and guidance, but I gave them freedom to be, and express, themselves. This helped foster that trust, and on the extremely rare occasion that I would stop them from doing something, I would explain my reasoning, so they understood why, rather than "because I said so."

Whenever there was an argument, or a disagreement, there was never any yelling, or fighting. I would encourage them to explain their point of view, and I would listen. Then I would explain my, or their mother's, point of view while they listened. It helped everybody to understand, and allowed all parties to feel as if they had been heard.

Those kids knew that I would die for them, if necessary, and they knew that rules existed for a reason, but were also flexible if they could produce a compelling reason. Their mother and I never said "no" without explanation, and there were times when we were convinced to change our minds about something, because the kids gave us a well reasoned counterpoint.

I wasn't a softie, or a pushover, and when I needed to be firm, I was, but they trusted me, and the knew why I had to be firm in those instances. During my time with them, there were very rarely any problems, no huge arguments, no fights, and I'd like to think I was a positive influence on their lives.

Nobody is a perfect parent, but I hope I did a good job, even as a "stepdad."

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I've been sort of co-parenting for years now... which is a very particular situation, since you are NOT a parent, but have to observe very similar responsibilities... lol

but I could sum it up to, being a dedicated one... as well as flexible, because different things definitely require a bit different approaches, it all depends...

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

I am a free spirit with a few traditional values.
I believe in keeping the family unity teaching kids to work hard and work smart.
I am raising my 2 teens and play a role as a guide at this point. We have open discussions over dinner table nightly. I raised them to be self sufficient and responsible for their own actions.
they are to respect us and themselves. Take care of themselves and help with the house. They need to be well rounded and have common sense, learn from their mistakes and be good decision makers.
I teach them about finances and how to invest so that they know the value of money. They also need to carry on the family bloodlines and raise their own kids to carry on our legacy.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

For some reason this question reminds me of those cartoons in the 1970s where the Latino character speaks perfectly elegant but accented English and keeps saying “si” instead of “yes.” (It’s the r’s and the u’s combined with big words like “experiences.”)

queenofcardio · Answer

I’m leaning toward possibly not having kids. Although, I think I would be a fair, patient, and supportive parent based on my experience as an aunt. My nieces and nephew often tell me so.

exitseven · Answer

I have 3 kids and I was involved with their lives but was not one of the helicopter parents that planned their kids lives since day one.

sage2021 · Answer

I have been told by a lot of people that I am an excellent Mother ❤️

Agape93 · Answer

I won't be. The kid would likely end up dead or damaged in my care

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I'm the kind of parent who was driven off by their mother who seeked revenge after divorce.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

All the traits that you have mentioned plus so much forgiving!

Anonymous · Answer

I won't.  I don't know what kind of a father I would have been. But if I I had been half the father mine was I would've been successful.

Brittanyroseee · Answer

Im never having kids HAHA

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