Does my friend secretly dislike me if he ignores me in group settings?

[Anonymous]

I thought my friend and i like each other. We were in escape room together with rest of friends and he talked to everyone beside me. He responded when i asked him something or he talked to me when he talked to everyone. But i felt really ignored like everyone was much more important then me. There was five of us and him and he talked to all four of them.

[HollyK21]

I’m sorry but unless you’re romantically attracted or you don’t know the other people then why do you need another man to make you feel important in a group setting? There’s other people there, why not focus on them and the task at hand? It just sounds like you’re trying to make something outta nothing.

[Asker]

Because we’re friends, we talk, and we spend time together. I know the “I felt unimportant” part sounds dramatic, but imagine you’re at a gathering where everyone knows each other and everyone is talking to everyone, but that one person talks to everyone except you, and only answers you with short, half-hearted replies.

[HollyK21]

I can absolutely imagine myself because I’ve been in it, dozens of times, with more or less people. It happens. I’m just not going to put all my focus onto that one person and how much they are or aren’t talking to me when I’ve got other people I can talk to and hang out with. It’s not that deep man.

[HollyK21]

I’d also say that if him not talking to you made you feel left out and unimportant then that was absolutely on you and you’re lack of effort to engage with the other people. Seriously, you had 3-4 other people there, working together on a frickin escape room, I don't know how you were so focused on pouting over another man not making you his main priority, rather than focus on the task at hand. I’ve been to dozens of escape rooms, we have hundreds in my state and for years now that has been one of my main hobbies. It requires your undivided attention, since you’re being timed. That should’ve been the main distraction and focus, not your friend. Do you have a crush on him? I don’t want to assume your sexuality, so if you aren’t straight then maybe this is like a crush you have or something?

[Calyptomaniac]

Does he act differently when the two of you are alone?

[Asker]

Yeah, he talks to me very easily and willingly when we’re alone