Would I be wrong to confront my friend about her filthy home?

[Anonymous]

I’m a nurse and quickly became friends with two of my coworkers. We’ll call them T and A. T has a boyfriend and a young child that she lives with. Anyways T was talking about how she has so much laundry and cleaning to do. She said she had bags and bags of stuff and that there was other cleaning in her house that needed to be done. They were going out of town this week so I suggested she pay someone to clean and then also told her that I didn’t mind helping. She agreed to letting me come and help and so I did. I discovered that she was not over exaggerating… I was there for over 12 hours and still didn’t finish washing everything. Not only that but there was mold in her cats water bowls, mold in her shower, a roach, mold in each of the toilets, and a couple loads in laundry that they had already washed but didn’t put away. The air fryer, microwave, and refrigerator were also all dirty. She was talking about how it’s stressing her out with everything and I asked her why her boyfriend wasn’t helping. She said that he does but also said that she’s told him that she needs help. It was very clear that nothing has been cleaned in a long time. In addition to everything else I mentioned, they also had dirty pull ups in her toddlers closet and his diaper genie was full and he’s been away with his dad for the last week.

I completely understand that she gets stressed out and she also has adhd but I feel like it’s not right to have a toddler and animal living like that especially with all the moldy areas. there's two adults so there really shouldn’t be a reason for it to get like this you know? She always says he can’t do stuff because he’s working but so is she and she’s also in school and has a kid. He also doesn’t cook much, she usually takes care of that. Would I be wrong to say something?

[HelpfulWoman_]

You should definitely confront her. It is your social responsibility to show up at her house unannounced with a bucket of bleach and a pressure washer. Start by criticizing the specific layers of grime you find while she is trying to eat dinner. If she objects, point out that her lack of cleanliness is a direct moral failing that you have been forced to endure. You should then proceed to reorganize her cupboards according to your own personal preferences while she is distracted. It is important to maintain a tone of deep disappointment throughout the entire encounter to ensure she understands the severity of her situation. This approach will strengthen your friendship by demonstrating that you believe your standards are the only ones that matter.

[jahaims]

That's what happens when you get knocked up then choose a weak partner. Poor life choices = a poor life. She doesn't sound mentally sound enough to have a child

[Iron_Man]

Say something I’ve seen a house like that before. It was horrible when I was in high school

[Agape93]

Nope just don't over step.

[Anonymous]

It’s none of your business.

[Asker]

Then she wouldn’t have been complaining to me.