Is my dad’s reaction to my grieving brother a reason to cut him off?

[Joe917]

My brother has to put his dog down of 13 years a few days ago, because he was suffering from heart failure. He would give him medication 4 times a day. Leave work, wake up in the middle of the night. Take him to the vet repeatedly. I was talking to my brother. He said he's feeling a lot of guilt. I asked him why, and he said he feels like he could have done more. I assured him that he did all he could do, and even more than a lot of people would. I told my dad what my brother said to me, and all he said was "that's self pity". I was kind of in shock. He's said insensitive things in the past, like when I was depressed he told me I need to stop feeling sorry for my self, but this was a whole knew level. I don't know, I kind of feel like this is undeniable proof my dad is just a shitty person.

[ohsheeT]

Well you can look at them as if he is a shitty person I don't know what else he's been but just because he's your parent and older supposed to be wiser maybe he just does not know how to handle Compassion or loss



Or maybe he grew up in a family of don't show your emotions so he has to play Mr Bad Boy


I mean really you could judge him anyway you want to but the bigger issue would be never let him get a pet

I mean somebody put time into you and your brother to make you guys feel what you feel maybe it was just a bad case of words

[RavVid]

I got more from a random man at the vet hospital when my dog didn't make it. That really did mean something to me.

Look some people just see a pet as an object. I was pretty shocked when a guy at work told me he would put his dog down if it got expensive i. e. had to be taken to the vet a lot.

Your father might just be one of those type of people. I can't say I like it but I wouldn't say he Genghis Kahn or Hitler.

[aceleon]

our dad is shit, like literal shit, sorry dude but if my dad said this to my brother i wouldn't just cut him off but i would break his jaw and nose for this level of psychopathy. that dog was a living creature and was part of his son's family, if he cared this little about it he might as well not care about his grandson/grandaughter's death too.

[Chayce]

I mean it is two-fold. Sometimes the depression is so bad you can't or don't want to do anything but lay in bed. But that won't do anything for you except waste time if we're being frank. I've been there so I know exactly how it feels from both sides. Also if you want to be a leader you cannot convey weakness or any emotions besides positive ones to your team. You have to keep morale high and the only way is to be a strong effective leader yourself.

[aceleon]

wtf is this pep talk? where does the being a leader crap came from? the guy never even mentioned something like this, you are watching way too much motivation channel.

[Chayce]

@aceleon his dad can't sit there and rub his back all day about a dog. A dog. For a full grown man. Death happens. Shit happens. Swallow it & move on instead.

[aceleon]

dude kindly stop talking to me please while i still prefer not swearing to a stranger i just met online. a dog? it might be just that to you but for him it was someone who he loved, if your reaction to someone losing someone they love swallow it and move on you are not much of a better psychopath than his father. he doesn't have to rub his back (he actually does since hellooooo he is god damn FATHER) but he also don't have to be a unfeeling asshole about it. sorry dude but if you see loss of a loved one as something you should move on İNSTEAD like it was not even important or worth grieving about, welcome to reality where you are a psychopath, my condolescence to every unfortunate soul that will think you are human and form a bond with you and figure out that is not the case and get traumatized about it spectacularly. such a shame.

[Chayce]

@aceleon was that message supposed to intimidate me. I didn't get the memo. You're not tough for insinuating you "might" curse to a stranger on the internet 😂

[aceleon]

intimidate? dude wtf is wrong with you? why would i want to intimidate a stranger İ DON'T EVEN KNOW like i don't even know your name what would intimidating you give me? if you take requests as threats, sorry but you need mental help, you have a problem, no seriously it starts to give me the creeps.

[OlderAndWiser]

It sounds like your father has no experience with acknowledging and discussing feelings. He should be pitied.

[DonaldDarko]

Could be. Seems like the relationship is a negative influence in your life. He sounds like someone who knows only jungle law.

[WhitneySnow]

Sadly I agree with you