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When I met my wife, I was working an ordinary job. We both knew I could do better, and the plan was for me to go back to school and get a master's degree so she could stay at home. So I did. I earned a STEM master's with a 4.0 GPA and published a well-regarded research paper. I worked my ass off. I have an amazing job lined up in another state after I graduate this December.
With my in-laws, first it was that I didn't have a good enough career. Now I got that. Now that I'm moving my wife to another state, they're complaining that I'm dragging her along to live out my dreams without thinking about them. They've recently become more isolated and extreme in their politics. I'm moderate. They're very pro-Trump and think that moving to a blue state is somehow going to turn our kids transgender. I explained that the statistical odds of that are less than 1%, and that I'm focused on good schools, low crime, and ample job opportunity so I can be the sole provider and my wife can stay at home. My industry is very sparse where they live. They think we're practically moving to a third world country. They live in FL, and in my personal opinion, where they live looks like a third world country — great for retirement, but not for opportunity or education in my field.
They even framed it as me being selfish, suggesting I should work a more blue collar job to protect my kids. I want my kids to be in a good school district, with ample opportunity and access to the upper/upper-middle class. The area also has much lower crime. The data shows the new state is better on all of this.
My wife is on board, but their political views are so out of control that they're now saying they'll only move to a fully red state if they want to be around us. I'm really trying to keep my composure and not complain to my wife, but I have no idea what to do here. They're really pissing me off and undermining all the work I've put into giving their daughter and family a better life. Any advice?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
4Opinion
Yeah, I have some advice. Tell MAGA Mom and MAGA Dad to fuck off. Tell them they live in a 3rd world shithole that you are trying to escape for the good of their daughter your future kids, and your own career. Tell them you are not going to apologize for being smarter than them. Tell them you've had enough of their moronic beliefs and you don't want them influencing your kids. Tell them you are indeed happy that this move will leave them behind in their 3rd world shithole existence. Tell them to enjoy dying alone hugging their guns rather than their grandchildren. And tell them you can't wait to be rid of their entitled stupid asses.
With such a huge gap between their worldviews and yours, you can only stick with what you think is right.
Maybe there's a chance they'll change their mind, over time, if they realize that your plan turned out to be better than what they projected.
They're not your parents though, so I hope your wife is 101% on board because she's going to go through a really tough time if she's close to her parents...
You're a grown ass man with a wife. You and her get to choose how you want to live, no one else. No parent wants to stop their daughter from building a better life, and no husband should respect ones that do.
Of course. It’s really not a decision of that but rather how to handle them.
I live in a blue state and the state and county and city governments and education and healthcare systems are a nightmare, the taxes and gas prices are the highest in the country, the roads are never maintained, we're constantly bullied and told what we can and cannot do, we're not allowed to use grocery bags or dishwasher detergent, we have more homeless people than any other state, the list goes on and on and on.
I'd remind them that they wanted you to have a better career and that you do now.
Also it sounds like their just scared they won't get to see you guys very much. Maybe also find a way to comfort them in that aspect. Since that seems to be what their worried about.
Do what is best for you and your family and ignore their abusive demands. Simply refuse to hear any more of it. If they start, change the subject. If they persist, end the conversation.
Who gives af what they think. Remember this is you and your wife's lives
You are a giant pussy