If you're scaring people away by how you talk, are you the problem?

[Anonymous]

This marks the 4th time I find out someone doesn't like me and thinks I'm very obnoxious and rude. I don't really understand why. This has followed me for years.

I can never understand what I'm doing wrong. I really thought I was having a great conversation but nope. I'll give you an example of someone correcting me after I replied like this:

Acquaintance: It would be great going to eat on a weekend

Me: Great. Would that be next Saturday and Sunday

Acquaintance and someone else: giving me weird looks, telling me it was just a saying and getting annoyed.

I got lost by then. I didn't mean to sound annoying. I was thinking it would be great to go out on the weekend. I took the message literal like stated. Now I don't feel like socializing for a while. I'm scaring of accidentally saying the wrong thing, people giving me the weird looks, etc. This makes me sad.

Updates

1 mo

Then when ask for my opinion and telling me to be trust, if I give them my direct, honest answer (they told me to be honest), they think I'm rude. I don't understand. So I feel like I can't say nothing. I also don't know when to stop talking when I get into a long conversation. I feel so engaged in the conversation that I can keep going on.

[Orion84]

I am by no means an expert, but it sounds like you may have something called "social blindness" which is an inability to correctly intuit, and process, certain types of communication in a social context.

As per your example; your friend was thinking out loud, but you misinterpereted it as them trying to make actual plans, because you didn't, or were unable to, pick up on their social cue.

The same thing can cause you to just keep a coversation going, well past the point where the other person is ready to check out of it, and move on.

Again, I am not disgnosing you, but it could be something worth looking into. You could try talking to someone who specializes in helping people with that aspect of communication, but even if not, maybe just being aware of it may help you out.

Interestingly, social blindness, depending on the severity, could also be considered an indicator of autism, so it really may help you to look into it.

[DryGermanGuy]

They made a general, vague statement and you answered as if it had been specific.

[Mariogirl09]

I think your eagerness turned them off

[In_Trance]

Not sure why you need to ask the question

[Asker]

I want to find out if I'm really the problem all these years. I don't understand why they find me obnoxious. I never understand what I'm saying or doing wrong. I don't understand.

[In_Trance]

Of course you're the problem

[jahaims]

Sounds like autism