Your best friend screws you over! How would you feel? What would you do?!

[Anonymous]

Lets say your best friend that you've known and been friends with for about 10 years. She ended up liking the same guy you liked which you had strong feelings for? Would you upset? Would you not care?

Would you go crazy?

(if you're a boy, say one of your guy friends liked the girl you liked)

My best friend has liked the guy I liked for a long time, she tried hiding it from me, but as I can read her like a book, it was obvious.

She knew it would hurt me. I'm trying to get over him.

I would lose the trust I have and find a new friend, be completely upset.

I would keep talking to her and trusting her, wouldn't affect me.

I wouldn't know what to do.

I'd have a huge argument with her.

Answers.

[Anonymous]

Well, I have been in that situation, but in my case I was like your friend, I don't know why but I normally crush on the guys my best friends like, and once my best friend really liked a guy and she was madly in love with him, and then I started developing feelings for him, I felt bad because I knew my friend liked him first, so I hid it from her since I didn't want a guy to get destroy our friendship and I did not want my friend to see me as a threaten or like if we were competing, I did not do anything about it, I used to suffer in silence and often cried at night, then she got over him and I told her, she was really surprised and kinda offended that I never told her before but I explained my reasons and we were cool with each other again, and after a while I also got over him, but it took me a long time, but it was a forbidden love since she saw him first it wasn't my right to keep him lol, the best thing you can do is get over him and your friend should get over him too, it will make things easier between you and there is always more guys out there for you two, just forgive her if she hurt you, because really she did not do anything wrong but like the same guy as you, I hope this helped :)

[Ijustloveyou]

there was this guy I liked like REALLY much. We started to chat alot, and so did he and my best friend. They wrote together aaaaall the time, and I'm not gonna lie, because I was jealous, because he was the guy I liked. She had told me that she liked him a long time ago but it was over.

He texted me sometimes, to come out and I was all excited and texted my best friend that he wanted to do something. Then she said that he had texted her one hour ago and and asked if she wanted to do something.

- That happend several times, and I was really upset. He had told her first that he liked me, but few days later he told her that he missed her and loved her.

My best friend said she had some things to explain, because we talked about honesty so another friend of ours was also there, because she had been there one night, with them.

I was depressed and scared because I didn't know, what she wanted to tell me..

Well then she told me everything, that she liked him before but didn't tell me anything, and stuff like that. Well..and now they're dating. ..

Well, when I first got the news I just laughed.. I was actually relived.

[Anonymous]

If it's just a guy I like, then I would get over it. If it is a boyfriend then it's a whole other ball game.

Your friend can't consciously decide who to like, the fact that she is trying to hide it shows how much she cares for you and your friendship. You should be grateful for having such a good friend. It sounds like you can trust her and need to deal with your insecurities and you say you are so this is good.

I actually had a really old and good friend who developed a huge crush on my boyfriend but she hit on him and they ended up cheating. I was pissed and didn't talk to her for years. I dumped him right away too. That is who she was at the time. I don't think your friend is like that, my friend didn't even try to hide her crush, she deliberately insulted me in front of him. She had never done that before or since. Just in front of him.

After a few years we became friends again because people change and she definitely has changed..

[Asker]

Thank you for calmly writing your response.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for BA.

[kheserthorpe]

Liking someone doesn't give you an exclusive claim on them. She's allowed to like him back. And he actually gets to choose who he wants to date.

I can vaguely remember some guys who'd have a crush like this, but if you are at this point 'you like some girl but aren't dating') you're an idiot. The person who had the 'crush' first should have made their move, and either be dating or have been shot down by now. At that point, person two can take their try.

So - she's allowed to like him too, and its not her fault you didn't try to get together with the guy already.

Actually, your comments suggest you are 'trying to get over him'. So the fact he didn't want to date you means he can't date anyone you know? That's just stupid.

[Asker]

Thank you for calling me stupid:). I KNOW! but I'm too over protective.

The way he's been flirting with me and etc and enticing me makes it hard.

I want to :'( but it's just too hard..

[kheserthorpe]

I didn't say you were stupid, I said that friends holding back on their happiness to avoid making their friends jealous would be stupid ;) I guess I called your friend stupid if she doesn't go for the guy.

Have you actually determines if this guy is interested in you or not?

[Asker]

oh:-(

he made me feel like he was interested, but he was playing me.

[KERMlT]

My best friend is female so I don't have to worry about this. Did you let her know that you liked said boy? Did you say he was off limits? How long have you been into this guy but not made a move?

Think of it like a sniper team. You are on target ready to pull the trigger but you freeze. She decides you are waiting too long so she pulls the trigger.

Life is too short to wait for the perfect moment. Carpe diem!

[Asker]

Yeah she knows. I didn't verbally say it, but the way I behave when I hear about him/speak about him. I thought she would've realized:/ my bad.

Ages:| True:-(

[Apodyopsis]

Jesus, would you please get over yourself ? Like torhment said, it's not like she slept with your boyfriend! People do NOT have control over who they like. She lied to you in order to spare you the heartache; and it's not like she went after him or something. So please, spare us the HS drama and don't f*** up your relationship over some dude. She did NOT screw you over.

If I were in the same case (and I have been plenty of times before) I would talk it over with her like MATURE human beings and work out that we don't need to fight over a guy.

PS: You're overprotective of what? The guy who's oblivious to all of this? He doesn't even belong to you - so over protectiveness by definition does not factor into what is obviously is some drama straight out of Gossip Girl.

[Asker]

What the f***? I already had plenty of heartache from the lot of them:-( I'm not trying to create a scene...

So now I'm immature? I did try talking to her..

Over the guy and the girls he talks to.. I know:/

No need to speak to me like that, I have a problem and I need to sort it out, no need to go gorilla style, there is a way of talking to me, nicely.

I don't even know what that is...

[Apodyopsis]

It just bothers me when you say she "screwed you over". Just let it be.

[Asker]

:(

[tohrment]

She hasn't done anything wrong. She likes him. She didn't sleep with your boyfriend or somethingg -_-

If my best friend did that (who I've been best friends with for our whole lives) I'd tell her she didn't need to hide it from me. Realistically we'd probably either decide who has the better shot, or forget about him altogether - our friendship means more than any guy. She didn't do anything wrong, and was trying to spare my hurt feelings. I could only love the silly tacker more for that.

[Asker]

You wouldn't understand. I'm a very over protective person and I just don't like the feeling of her liking him when I like him. I have really strong feelings for this guy.

But she lied to me? I don't like/want people trying to please me with petty lies. She did do something wrong, she started liking him when she fully knew how I felt.

[Kain6th]

People can't help who they like QA. you should understand that. Don't hold that against her. She didn't just wake up and decide ;I'm gonna like this guy even though my friend likes him too." I would say she hid it from you cause she knew you'd react like this. I think she knows you better than you think.

[Asker]

I just feel really angry and just upset:-( I don't know what to feel and what to do anymore:-(

[Kain6th]

Yeah.. just don't let this friendship die over this. Guys will come and go in life, but best friends should be something to really fight for.

[tohrment]

Can't blame her for hiding it... That aside, she didn't DO anything. You can't punish her for LIKING him, even when she didn't pursue her interest out of thoughts for you. Also, you don't have a chance with him, but you don't want her to either? You sound very selfish to me.

[Asker]

Couldn't she of tried to preventing herself? I mean she just had the urge liking him for a month. :/ :(I have been stuck with the same feelings for 4 years. Every time I tried to escape him, he would try talking to me. He even said horrible things to me, but I just couldn't let go?! The feelings I had for him and my way of thinking about him had become a habit.

He played me and made me feel bad for a long time, yet when I tried to forget him he would find a way of getting to me.

[Asker]

and he's a player. I don't want her getting caught up.

[tohrment]

Doesn't seem like you're making a fuss cos you want what's best for her. Seems like you're overprotective and want him to yourself, even if you can't actually have a relationship for him.

If he's a player/jerk/etc, why does it matter at all? Get over him, let her do the same, and continue on with your friendship.

[Asker]

no, I don't want him for myself. Easier said than done. I've tried a range of things. I've tried ignoring him and everything! But he keeps talking to me and the feelings keep coming back even though he was a complete a**hole lwith me. What would you recommend I could do, to distance myself further?

[tohrment]

Cut off contact with him and mend your friendship with your best friend.

[raineydaygurl]

in the past it wouldn't effect me cause she was all I had but I have someone who really cares about me so she just pushed me over the edge and I refuse to put up with her sh*t anymore. my boyfriend hated the way she treated me anyway,i'm just gonna get closer with his friends.

[snowangle]

You can't control who you like. It just happens. If my friend liked the same guy I like, then I would just get a little more competitive (start making moves, etc). And if they ended up dating, I wouldn't mind because then I would know that he chose her; it was his decision and not hers.

[rockingpianoman]

I would go crazy , I would be very angry AT FIRST , but as he would be my best friend we would be friends again really fast and probably ignore that girl both ha ha , we would do that for each other XD

although there might be a slight trust-downfall after it

[FierceMegan]

If they are both happy; then it wouldn't bother me much. I would be sad for a little while, but not for too long.

I chose B

[Isceenekid]

If she knows about you liking this guy and she wanted to start liking him, If she was a true friend she would understand what you feel about him. But if you were a true friend, you would let it go.

[Asker]

True, but it's hard letting go of someone who gave me so much to remember and that I've liked for my entire secondary school life.

[Isceenekid]

It happened to me when I was in year 10. Well, we went out but before hand. I was having intreset in my x and I didn't tell anyone. She had a nice body and smile and she only know I liked her, then this one day some friend of mine liked her and he told everyone, they were like 'Hey man why don't you start flirting with her where everyone heard then she looked at me then I walked off. A few days later she was being chased by two guys wouldn't be right so I let my mate have her.

[Asker]

aw.

[Isceenekid]

Not continuing the story as it's happened with many girls, some were mature and thought about there bait some took it.

[Cantremember]

We can't change how we feel but only how we go about it.

[2confusedgirl]

Totally agree.

[hikinggirl]

Liking him is one thing but acting on it is another thing. A best friend should never want to hurt your feelings regardless of how much she likes some guy.

[Standingpretty]

You don't need them in that case then, I chose nothing, because I should really forget them in that case. No need to be upset because it just show's you they were waste of time.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

If she knew you liked the guy it's a d*** move, if she didn't, well then you shoulda told her. And if you like the guy, ffs, go and tell him.

[Kain6th]

Wow... get over yourself lol. So why didn't you make a move? You have no one to blame but yourself.

[Asker]

Because I can't - religion.

Actually, it's his fault for flirting with me and playing me.

I wouldn't be in this mess otherwise.

[Kain6th]

Well then he's not the guy for you. Move on to someone else.

[Asker]

I've made a big effort this year, but it doesn't seem to be working.

I've got no classes with him. I try to distract myself by talking to other people. I try to not go on social networking sites because he's on there. I've tried not talking to him but he always tries to make conversation, then he says that I'm always pissed off at him.

I've liked him for ages:-( I need help getting over him, really badly.

[curiouschica]

She likes him but HASN'T acted on it? Well what's wrong with that?

[Ezmotts]

If he likes a girl I like, then I'll just let him give his best try. I'm not going to let some girl get in the middle of our friendship.

[sephora]

Dude, its not like you are dating this guy, your friend can like whoever she wants.