My brother is being bullied, what should we do?

[Anonymous]

my brother's a freshman in high school ad he told us last night that this other freshman has been saying 'where's the money?' and has been making threats or else he'll punch him.

my brother, alex, has never gotten into a fight or anything, he's kinda socially awkward at times but he's really sweet.

my best friend's brother, marco, also goes to that school but they're in different grades and he told me 'hey I saw your brother at school today and I saw him give money to some guy in the bathroom, I don't know what's up with that.'

he told me that like at 3 in the afternoon when I went over to her house. so late at night, my parents called us in and asked us where all the money from their wallets was going. I mentioned what marco had said cause I didn't take any money.

so alex revealed that it had been him all along. in total, he's paid the guy about $180 to not beat him up. I'm guessing he's terrified of the guy. lately I've been seeing my brother lifting weights like crazy. and I asked him, 'do your friends know?' he said no.

i told him that the next time the kid comes up to him, for him to be like 'i don't have any money stop bugging me' and walk away and if the kid wants to fight, then fight. I don't know how big this kid is but my brother's obviously scared.

so, my parents have been getting info from my brother about this kid, like his name, etc. but I think they're gonna go to the principal today and they even mentioned getting the cops involved.

but I've seen that whenever people snitch, they get it even worse and they call them rats and sometimes even worse things happen :/ I want this all to stop case I was bullied as well and my parents didn't know but what should we do? :(

Updates

+1 y

my parents don't really believe that fighting will solve problems and my mom's always worried about 'her baby getting hurt' so that's why they wanna go do all this :/

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+1 y

my brother said that he never did anything to the guy and the guy just starting bugging him out of nowhere

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+1 y

i don't have an older brother :(

[YouKnowThatGuy]

When in school I got bullied significantly. I got bullied by multitudes of people verbally and physically. As a result I was treated like a leper and most people avoided me to not be associated with me and bullied too.

A friend of mine was a poor kid from a ghetto who didn't care what anybody thought and commanded respect. Nobody messed with him, and people were a bit intimidated by him. He was friends with this kid that was also a freshman. 6'5 280 something pounds from camden NJ, murder capital of the country at the time. I told my friend why I was stressing out, he talked to the big guy. The big guy came up to me and just said "Who's bothering you?..." now obviously there were too many people to list, so I just pointed at the first group of kids that had really been on my case that day. He walked up to them, for about 10 seconds then walked away. I still got bullied by a significant amount of people at school, but those 5 kids never so much as made eye contact with me again. That's when I realized that intimidation goes a long way.

The next year, I was still getting bullied a lot and it was starting to take it's toll. Eventually I got fed up and got into a series of fights. Headbutted one kid on the bus to school. Hit another kid right in the middle of the lunch room. I never got suspended but I did end up having a meeting with the superintendent of the school district. He heard about what was going on (and found that some of the teachers had even been a part of encouraging the kids on the football team) and moved me to a different school.

By that point I had no fear of fighting and that attitude, that confidence, ended up with me never getting bullied again. I wouldn't back down to anybody regardless of threat or size. I was more than willing to suffer right along with them if that's what it took, and everyone backed off.

From that personal experience, I can tell you one thing for certain. Whatever way you need to resolve it, resolve it as fast as possible. Long term damage from that experience stuck with me and I still deal with it. Going through it day after day for years just left its mark, and that'll never change. So whatever needs to be done, make sure you do it sooner rather than later, time is a factor.

[seeya36]

Sometimes all it takes to make a bully stop is to stand up to them. Bullies usually just want to exercise power over someone and once they realize that they no longer have power over someone they stop. I'd say the kid is all talk but I don't really know. If they fight at school then even if your brother is weak he probably won't be hurt too bad because administrators will jump in and break up the fight. I was always taught to stand my ground and when someone would try to threaten me I'd just dare them to try. Usually they'd be the one to back down.

[Anonymous]

as an older sister who had a sweet younger brother I can tell you that I personally threatened a few people on his behalf (these two boys who were older than him on the bus) I caught them in the middle of harassing him and put an end to it that day.

with my daughters they've had trouble with girl bullies, which imo are worse because it's harder to stop, and I've honestly let them handle it. I taught them to take up for themselves to use the system to their advantage and it worked.

boys are different though...he's almost going to have to just find an alpha bone in his body and stand up for himself it's a pivitol moment for him actually. He sounds like he really lacks in self confidence.

personally I would call in an anonymous call to the principal myself and pose as a student who's seeing it(make sure you're calling from a private line!) tell them that these kids are harassing and extorting students (surely he's not the only kid) and that you saw it with your own eyes and you want a stop put to it or you're going to the local news. that should gets some things moving without your brother having to be the one to do it.

[0202vogue]

Your brother needs to stick up for himself because that is pretty much the only thing bullies will respond to. Sad as that is. This may mean that he may get hurt in the process but the bullies will know that he has a voice and they will eventually stop (particularly when he stops giving them money). I think what your parents suggested is a typical parent response, mine will do the same, but teachers can only really do so much (if anything at all) and the bullies may even get angry.

Dont worry, these things help build individuals into much stronger and confident characters. Your brother will overcome this eventually.

[Camilus]

The kid you are talking about is guilty of extortion and threats. If he is part of a group then he is guilty of racketeering, just like a gang member or mafioso that runs a criminal enterprise for profit.

Your parents are right to talk to the cops and the principal. If your brother has to follow the rules then that other guy has to follow the rules too.

[Asker]

so apparently the case is even worse than we thought, my mom works at a middle school and went to their dean to get some advice and the guy said to go to the school.

so my parents went and apparently, the kid made death threats to my brother and said that he's gonna 'bust a columbine' so far, my brother's paid him $500. so the kid's gonna get arrested today cause it's extortion.

from what my friend said, the kid is pretty nerdy, but those are the ones to watch out for right?

[herbalist299]

1) if your parents DO go to the principal and get the cops involved and word gets out I guarantee you that he will be considered a rat. That's just the way high school is now a days and possibly will get him into other trouble with other kids. 2) its unfortunate that fighting the kid is the solution but that is the only way other people will notice he's not taking anymore bullsh*t from this bully and is handling his own problems himself (even if he loses there is a high probability that the bully will stop messing with him because he knows he will fight and not stand down). Sorry if none of this helps

[WeaponZero]

I don't know how much policies have changed from when I was in school, but bullies never got anything more than a slap on the wrist when I was in middle and high school (in the 90s). If you wanted to put a stop to it, you had to do it yourself. Make sure your brother knows to go for the knees, balls, and throat, and make sure he knows that no matter what he does tot his kid, even if he gets sent home with a suspension, he will not be in trouble at home for sticking up for himself.

[WeaponZero]

I do know this much: Administration typically punishes all parties involved in physical disputes, even the victim. Your brother WILL be in trouble with administration if he does anything more than sits there and takes it. He should not let this stop him.

[WeaponZero]

Fighting does solve problems when the problem is being bullied and beaten up for no reason. Administration has already shown they won't do much about it, so what is your choice? It's called self defense.

[ElPapi]

Get your older brother to go beat the sh*t out of him and get the money back or else he will get another ass kicking. That is what I would do for my brother. Shit I got a baseball bat in my car just in case.

[temptationfalls]

Hope your brother learns how to fight and can hold his own because that's the only way it's ever going to stop.

[TheRealAttila]

Kick his ass.