My sister is pregnant out of wedlock.

[A-Soldiers-Wife07]

So, my sister, who is 26 (soon to be 27) is pregnant. Our parents are extremely religious and very judgmental (even though they say their not). I was judged harshly because I was living with and sleeping with my husband before we got married. This would be my parents 3rd grandchild (my oldest sister has 2 but is married). Well, she's has NO idea how to tell my parents. She wants to tell them because they'll be more hurt that she didn't. But, she kinda wants to wait after her first ultrasound because they don't know if she's 5 or 9 weeks along because she's been irregular the past couple months. But, if anyone out there has gone through this, help me out please because my sister is my BEST friend in the world! And there's no way I'm telling my parents because I wanna stay out of that and it's not my place to tell them.

[regular-guy]

Every set of parents is different. Parents with high standards and true convictions to their religious values are understandably disappointed when their children make decisions that violate God's law and also reflect badly upon the family. The concern is often more than just having broken a rule, but concern with the overall consequences of the action now and later.

No matter how it comes out your parents will probably be hurt and disappointed, but they will probably also come to accept it sooner or later because they will realize that there is nothing they can do about it now. I don't see any reason why to wait to share the news because the reaction is likely to be the same no matter when it happens. In my opinion it will be best if she approaches them on her own and confesses that she has made some mistakes and she has something really important to tell them. Obviously it would also help if she actually does feel sorry because true repentance requires full acceptance and ownership of the fact that you actually did something wrong and you really regret the decision. It also requires a commitment to be better and try not to continue to make the same mistakes.

Sorry to be preachy, but I don't think there is an easy way around this. It is going to hurt no matter what. But they are your parents and will continue to love her even if they are disappointed, and eventually they will come to terms with it. It is probably better to have them come to terms with it sooner rather than later. But that is just my take.

I wish you and your sister the very best in this. God bless.

[A-Soldiers-Wife07]

Well, she's not exactly sorry nor does she think she made a mistake. She's almost 27 years old, and her religious views have changed since she's moved out of my parents house. She's just sorry she disappointed them, but not sorry that she's pregnant or had pre-marital sex.

[regular-guy]

Well, I guess she is unrepentant then. Being "religious" means different things to different people. In my opinion, if there is not an underlying spiritual conviction and commitment, then religious is just something they do, not something they are. Either way, best wishes.

[A-Soldiers-Wife07]

I dunno. It's all her decisions I guess. In her eyes, she did nothing wrong but that's between her and God. I just fear that my parents might be a little too judgemental and harsh on her.

[islandcutie]

My parents are very relegious too and they just found out my sister has been sleeping with her fionce a couple weeks ago. They way my older sister told them is she called them and told them that she has something to talk about with them and came over the next day so that she could warn them that something happened. So anyways, she came over the next day and told them that she had been having sex for a while and might be pregnant but she wasn't sure. It went over pretty good but I'm not sure if there really is a good way to tell your parents something like this.