My girlfriend is spending too much time with her best friend which is a female and a lesbian?

[Agosto88]

I have gotten use to it because her best friend is moving down stairs from us. But my problem is me in my girlfriend don't get to spend time together and now it has even gotten worse. Now her friend friend is sleeping with us in are bed. I know they are best friends but ain't it a limit to this. You have to see this from my point of view I barely get to see and spend time with her doing the day, but now I can't even spend time with her at night, which I thought was my time because her friend didn't sleep with us before until a couple of weeks. So am I wrong for this in why do I feel like this best answer gets ten points!

[Tearen]

Sounds to me like you need to have a chit chat.

It is definitely healthy to encourage your girlfriend to pursue friendships and spend time with other people; after all, humans are social creatures. But its important for her to recognize that you do have boundaries when it comes to how close people are to you, let alone her. Bottom line is that, if you're not comfortable sleeping in a bed with a girl you don't know extremely well, then she should understand that. Talk with your girl and make sure she knows where your boundaries are (Odds are there's going to be a long, heated argument here, but such things are important for healthy relationships. Just brace yourself for a potential tantrum.)

Second, people in relationships spend time with each other. This is...pretty much a given. Let your girl know that, ultimately, you miss her a lot and having her be so close yet so removed from you is causing you some deep emotional pain. If she does indeed care for you she'll want to make sure that pain is alleviated.

Keep in mind that neither of these requests are outlandish, unreasonable, or clingy. If she tries to accuse you of being any of these, it probably means you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you think you can't get through to her, try talking to her friend instead. Whatever you tell her will, naturally, be told to your lover. But letting your girl friend's friend know is important as she shouldn't be left out of the loop on this, and speaking to her directly makes you at least look more mature and honest.

Talk with your girlfriend and make sure you're on the same page; it's the only way this will be sorted out, no matter how ugly the idea of talking about it may seem.

[Anonymous]

If this is true, which I doubt, most straight guys would be all over this - she seems to be laying the groundwork for threesomes.

[Stacyzee]

Are you sure there isn't something more going on?

To me this would seem very odd and suspicious.

You have every right to feel this way, because there is a limit.

She crossed that line when she decided to spend most of it with her best friend.

She also crossed the line when she brought her best friend into the bed with you both.

Someones getting a little too comfty here.

Sometimes too comfty isn't always good.

You must put a stop to this.

Sit down and talk to your girlfriend about the way you have been feeling (no yelling, no accusations, just a talk in a calm manner).

-Give examples.

Tell her you do not mind the friendship that they have but you feel has if it is interfering with your relationship with her.

Let her know, you do not want their friendship to end. But what you want is a healthy balance between both.

Let her know you want to cuddle up next to her in bed, not do the whole reach around and grab her best friend by mistake.

Let her know you just miss the way you two used to be.

I hope she is willing to work on this because your relationship is worth saving.

If she seems to throw your feelings to the side about this whole thing, then you really need to question the value of your relationship with her.

[rougecerise]

It doesn't sound good. But, girls are weird sometimes. Maybe she doesn't think anything of it or maybe she likes that girl, or maybe she wants to try a threesome? Who knows? She knows, so if you want the answer, then you need to ask her. Hopefully she'll be honest.

Good Luck!

[gloomy]

Lol am sorry. I think you should let her know what is going through your mind tell her what you pointed out here just be reasonable and talk don't try to make her feel bad. Tell her what you do or don't feel comfortable with am sure she'll understand.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but you need to be man and demand your space, letting her friend sleep over is already crossing the line and weather something is going on between them or not, where is the respect! set your boundaries house is for both, visits are OK, not sleeping over anymore or how ever you want things to be let her know, communication is very important so talk to her and let her know that the situation is bothering you

[DangerMouse]

I am not so trusting about people anymore given my past experiences. Would definitely worry. She is taking you for granted and it just doesn't feel right. Man I thought only I could get into sh*t.