How can I stop hating my sister?

[Anonymous]

I really do not like my sister. She is really immature and has no value for her family. All she cares about is her boyfriend. She swears at my parents and me in public places, calls me vulgar names, etc. She has a "i do what I want" philosophy and does whatever she likes whenever she likes. her choices make my parents cry and worry for her and she could just care less. The littlest things set her off- me asking her to knock before entering my room can go to "you're such a little *****, shut the **** up, you're stupid and never capable of accomplishing your goals, you have no friends, etc within literally seconds.

If she wants to be stupid around me, whatever. I'll deal. I am NOT okay with my parents crying and stressing when they've got so much to worry about. At times I seriously hate her and wish I was an only child. Everyone tells me what an amazing sister I am to her and I know the way she is acting is out of my control. This situation is seriously making me hate/resent her.. which is something I am not okay with feeling. How can I accept that she is going to be the way she is without hating her for it? Hatred is not something I like feeling, especially with family.

[6Paul11]

How old is she? Every family is different. When I was a kid, I would have probably gotten a good beating and a punch in the face if I acted like that. When I got too big, we would all just curse at each other. It all worked out in the end.

You need to realize that there are some things you can change and others that are beyond your control. If she is a lot younger, I would find a program to straighten her out. Send her to boot camp. She will learn that there is always someone bigger, badder, and meaner. She has no discipline and no maturity.

I honestly don't think you hate her. You probably feel like it sometimes, but if I were to hand you a pistol and tell you that you could blow her brains out, I don't think you could find it in you.

The easiest thing for you to do right now is to distance yourself. You can't make her change. The decision lies with your parents. Move away, get on with your life, and focus on you. All you can do is work on yourself. Move forward, and don't let a bratty sister hold you back.

[Asker]

she's 19. I've been distancing myself from her, but I still have a LOT of anger inside of me. I don't feel it all the time, but the second she starts to act bratty it just comes up. I don't like it and I want to get rid of it.. I'm generally a really easygoing and happy person

[6Paul11]

It is your choice to be angry. Nobody can "make" you feel or do anything. You have the ability to control your emotions. That is what separates you from her. Be mature, and like I said, focus on what YOU can do for YOURSELF.

[Asker]

i understand I need to control my emotions, I'm just asking how. I do a decent job when I'm not around her much or if she's being nice, but the minute she acts stupid I get angry. I don't really show it- like I don't yell really and I don't physically hurt anything, but I'm still really angry and resentul inside. what are things I can do to get rid of it? like how can I stop from feeling angry in the first place?

[6Paul11]

Try to have patience. Be nice. Just don't let her control you. If you feel that you can't deal with it just leave. Don't let yourself be put in the situation from the start.

[Asker]

i appreciate your advice, thank you!

[dwelz314]

it's hard not to I have a little brother and tho is is extremely immature and a horrible person at times he is my little bro and he is the only one I will have I just try to distance my self from him but still have a mutual friend ship between us because no matter what I want him to no I am always here for him and I will help him but it gets very hard at times. it just takes time but when your sister grows up a little bit it will be better that's for sure just keep your head up and just no that she won't be that way for ever

[Anonymous]

You need to set her straight, let her know how you feel and how she causes you and your family stress. She sounds like my sister, I don't know which is worse. But I don't really talk to my sister and want nothing to do with her. Let her know that there are people in the world with worse families than yours and going through horrible things. She doesn't sound like she appreciate you guys at all. Just try to make her see that. GL

[jeston]

true.. that's how my brother was entil I set him stright

[Blobb]

There's nothing wrong with smacking someone when hey get really out of line. Family or not a proper smack might do her some good. Just followed by a "Don't talk to me like that again" kinda statement. Gets the message across nice and clear.

Kick her out of the house a while. Or impose discipline. Or send her to a psychiatrist. Or move on with your life and just kinda ignore her until she snaps out of it.

[beastman88]

she needs an ass whoopin, sooner or later shell piss off the wrong person, hey maybe itll be you. I know a lot of people that need their asses kicked. its horrible but for a lot of people that's the only way theyll finally learn that there's consequences towards their actions. selfish egotistical people are a plague on this world

[redneck414]

sometimes hate is just born of misunderstanding, but I doubt it in your situation, you can try to not hate her, but unless she is willing to change its going to be next to impossible , in my opinion, its her fault, not yours, don't change yourself to make her happy, its not worth it.

[Ask-Me]

Hatred is destructive, life is too short!

I guess that you need to understand what is driving your sister's behavior , has something really bad happened in her life, has she got some underlying psychological or mental health problems?

[Asker]

she went through some stuff with her friends and it drove her to do something stupid, my family and I were literally the only people there for her, even her boyfriend wanted to leave. I persuaded him to hear her out. Instead of realizing how much we care she turned her back on all of us and cares about her new friends/bf. It makes me really mad

[jeston]

if it was you id beat her ass.. matter of fact if my kids ever talked to me like that they wouldn't get that chance id beat their ass just by talking back

[jeston]

it could be her boyfriend that has an effect on what she thinks too and how she is I still stand with what I put the frist time though

[Anonymous]

Your parents need to throw her out or somehow show what's its like to be on her own.

On a side note...I bet her boy friend has at least 2 other girls that he is having 'fun' with on the side.

[Prof_Don]

Ppl mature at different rates...just tolerate her as best you can.

[Anonymous]

she is one arrogant child ,maybe you gotta punish her in a way she learns humility in life

[Anthony-NJ]

JUst try to love and let go. I feel really bad. :(