Bfs sister hates me?

[Anonymous]

Myself and my partner have been together for 4 months so far. We're getting on amazingly, and I couldn't be happier.. there's just one problem, his sister. The first time I met her, she totally blanked me, and said meeting me isn't important atm, she didn't even look at me. Every time we've exchanged texts (for whatever reason), she's always been so blunt. She's recently had a baby, and I wished her well for the birth when she was going in for her elective c section, then a further text to congratulate her.. Guess what? No reply to either texts. When I was dropping off my partner to his house (lives with his sister), he asked if I could pop in to see the little one, and of course, she said no, not right now. I'm started to get extremely upset and hurt as I've done nothing wrong but actually love and protect his brother. I can't shake it out of my head that she literally hates my guts without even bothering to get to know me. My exes family didn't bother, and I don't want it to happen again with my current partner. What shall I do? Leave it, and have nothing to do with her, or text her to ask why she's not wanting to get to know me? My partner keeps telling me to give her a couple of months, yet he has said this from the VERY start of our relationship, we're now 4 months in, and she's wanting "more time".. I'm so officially done, and wouldn't even want her at our wedding (if we ever get married of course).

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness. So what if you had a baby yourself. Pregnancy and giving birth affects everyone differently same as their hormones. FMD when I was pregnant and after I gave birth I didn't want to see or be around anyone. I was also ignoring messages and in my head I wanted people to leave me the f alone. After I gave birth especially. This was crucial time for me to try and bond with my baby since I was robbed of skin to skin contact after giving birth and I had my entire birth experience ruined and nobody respected my wishes nobody wanted to leave me alone. It contributed to me struggling to bond with my baby. I spent everyday for weeks after giving birth in tears and also battling postnatal depression and bad thoughts

she wasn't ready or wanting visitors as she wanted that time to be left alone to bond with her baby, you also ain't family so she doesn't have to let you see her baby especially if you don't get on all that well.

If I was the sister and I found out you were bitching about me not replying to your message and bitching about the fact i said no to you meeting the baby, I would never speak with you again because this shit comes across as you being pushy and not respecting someone boundaries and thinking you have the right to just invite yourself into my life.

[Asker]

I too had an horrendous birth, 48 hours labour, resulting in a c section where I felt everything, and got put under.. never had skin to skin, never got to hear my babies first cry, nothing. It was horrendous, and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I also had postnatal depression, and know exactly what that's like.
She had an elective c section, it went extremely well, and was out the next day, and i texted her to wish her all the best, and i hoped they were both well etc.
My issue is, I've tried so hard to chat to her, get to know her as my partners sister, but she's just extremely rude, blanks me, and talks over me everytime I did.
I never "invited" myself, my partner wanted me to meet the baby, I was hesitant in the first place, and said obviously if it's okay with her, it wasn't, but he told me every Tom dick and Harry was round, seeing the baby etc, how do you think that makes me feel? It's not even about the baby, I want to get to know her.

[Opinion Owner]

This is probably why the fuck she doesn't want you in her life. You weren't there and don't have a clue how the c section was for her, you are just sitting here assuming it went well just because she went home the next day. You are here fucking saying that you have been pregnant and would never treat someone that way yet you don't seem to understand pregnancy and hormones affect everyone differently.

You don't even have a clue how deep down she was feeling throughout her pregnancy. Some people can fake they are happy but behind closed doors they are anything but happy.

Also you weren't there, you are just assuming your boyfriend is being honest about there being every tom and dick being around the baby. As judge Judy says what your boyfriend says is just hear say because you have no actual evidence to prove she had all of these people around

You also claim you weren't pushy with wanting to meet the baby but you clearly are being pushy because you are getting upset and coming here bitching and mosning about it because you never got to meet the baby. Clearly you yourself are the issue if even the family of your ex never wanted to know you either

[Asker]

Language. I know it went well because my partner asked her and told me, and I said that's great, and was pleased for her. Also, I do understand they can't affect you.
My ex partners family aren't nice people, they started an argument to my parents in public, swearing and all sorts, and you're telling me I'm the bad guy? Oh dear honey.
If my partner tells me something, I'm going to believe it as I haven't heard another side have I?
Never said I wanted to meet the baby, my partner wanted me to, I was hesitant like I previously said if you read it properly, she said no, fair enough.
Woah, are you a lonely person? By the sounds of it, you probably pushed people away in your life.. wouldn't surprise me if you don't have mates, or even a partner yourself. Sort your issues out.

[Asker]

Also, you're 36-45 years old? Perhaps learn how to communicate without swearing, or being extremely vile. Thank you, and goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Probably bcs she just had a baby, her mind and hormone’s all over the place right now, she’s also preoccupied with her new born and being a mom overall. Maybe send her a small gift for her baby to try and break the ice. Also, have you ever asked your boyfriend about what his sister thinks of you?

[Asker]

I've also had a baby, and wouldn't never treat anyone like that regardless of hormones. Yes, he said he's sick of her being like this towards me, yet is all nice to her face and doesn't stick up for me.

[Opinion Owner]

Did he ever tell you why she’s acting this way? Did she also act this way towards his exes?

[Asker]

No, never. Yeah, till she fell pregnant with his daughter, then suddenly she wanted to be involved. But, how i see it is she just doesn't want to get to know me.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it could be that she just doesn’t want to spare some time to get to know you, but for what reason tho? Maybe she just doesn’t care since in her eyes you guys have only been dating for a couple of months?

In my case it was the opposite, my little brother had girlfriend and everyone in the family tried to get to know her but she was just so passive lol

[Asker]

Yeah could be. My daughters dad's family were the same, and I felt so unwelcomed, and I'm worried its going to happen again. My partners mother unfortunately passed away 11 years ago, and it's just him, his sister and step dad, who's his sisters dad, and doesn't really care about him.
I know she means a lot to him, that's why I'm keen on getting to know her etc, but she's pushing me away everytime. My partner said its because I've been hurt, yet she's friends with his ex, and mother to his daughter.🤦‍♀️
Yeah, my family are the same with him, and like him, but they've always been lovely towards my partners, and very welcoming..

[Opinion Owner]

Well maybe she’s the type of person that takes a while to warm up to people. I think you should still at least act neutral with her but maybe don’t go out of your way to get to know her, she’s probably just really wary of you esp since she knows that her brother was hurt in the past. Still, your brother made the choice to date you so his sister should realize that her brother is ready to open up to love again, why isn’t she?

[HippoDino]

All you can really do is get ur boyfriend to ask his sister what her problem is. she's acting like a child and you have no obligation to be nice to her.

[SaoirseS]

You’re dating your partner, not his sister, so I would treat her the same way she treats you. Ignore her. You made the first move, she turned her back on you, so just leave her alone. She’ll either start communicating with you or she won’t. But if she reaches out, I’d suggest responding. Some people just have crappy people skills, and it takes them time.