How do I redeem myself after acting completely drunk and bat sh*t crazy?

[NiLa86]

I have been texting with this guy for the last 5 months, and we finally just met this past weekend. After bumping into him at a bar, I basically invited myself to hang out with him and his friends and ended up getting obliterated to the point that he had to tell me to leave, his friends were rude to me and I even was being mean to his friends who I don't even know. (PS: He did seem to show interest at one point in the night when he and I went to take a shot together- just he and I. Although, I believe a big problem of this night, was that one of his friends who is a girl is there and they hookup, so I am also guessing he didn't want to disrespect her and pay me too much attention).

The problem is I really dig this guy and some crazy ass feeling I really want to get to know him away from his friends and without being completely drunk. How can I redeem myself with him? More importantly should I even try? I would really like him to be interested in me.

[angel1142]

It really sounds like you blew it big time...

On top of it, he was already with another girl...so why do you think you still have a chance with him? Doesn't it bother you that the guy you've been texting for months hooked up with another girl in front of you? Even after what you did, I think you still deserve respect and it was disrespectful of him to hook up with this girl in your face.

But that, a guy who texts you for 5months without trying to ask you out is not interested to me...

He knows already you're super interested in him as you got drunk, invited yourself etc... His friends don't like you already and you passed for having very bad manners... you should move on, because that's a very bad beginning for a story.

The other option is the other girl wasn't important to the guy, he was drunk and that's why he hooked up with her disgarding you being there, and he likes you. Then you can try to apologize (face to face would be the best). Actually you should apologize anyway but maybe insist a little bit more on the fact that you usually don't act this way. Maybe you can ask him out to get forgiven?

Just know than even in that case you're gonna have to work hard for his friends to like you and trust you.

[NiLa86]

First off, thank you for your honesty. That's what I need in order to decide where to go from here. To clarify, he didn't hook up with the girl in front of me. But I found out that night from the girl that they hook up often, but no one really knows because they want to keep it under wraps. However, he has told me plenty of times he does not have a girlfriend. And she confirmed it, they aren't an actual couple. I never see him in person, so maybe in a few days I should send an apology text?...

[angel1142]

I think you can send him a text now actually. There is no better time for this situation, now or tomorrow won't change much.

If he shows interest in you though, try and ask him about the other girl sooner rather than later (like before you get official)...they might not be official but you'd need the situation to be clear for everybody.

[NiLa86]

I just sent him a message now. It was apologetic but not overboard, but necessary. Although, I don't think he will get back to me right away. It usually takes a few days. Anyway, I'll be sure to not text, message, or communicate with him at all until I see his response back me. If things go well and he can move on past what happened, then I guess I will ask about the other girl. The only problem I see with that is I don't want him to think I'm being nosey, especially since he and I aren't dating.

[angel1142]

Definitely..wait a little. I was saying in the case you guys start dating ;). Let me know how it goes!

[NiLa86]

I will and thanks for the advice!

[Anonymous]

It's never good when the guy you're trying to hook up with asks you to leave. If you want you can send him a text apologizing for accidentally getting too drunk and see where it goes from there. But if he and his friends didn't approve of how you were acting AND he's got another girl, I think your chances are really slim of getting him.

[NiLa86]

Yeah it was an awful scenario and the only reason I hope I can undo it somehow, is because I have this strong sense that he and I would hit it off, had it been the perfect circumstances, etc. What do you think? Should I really just give up on this guy and move on? (He did tell me to leave which was also embarrassing, but it was needed. I was completely obliterated). It sucks because I am not like that AT ALL. The alcohol got the best of me :/

[Opinion Owner]

When you text your apology if he doesn't respond, I would just move on. If he choses not to talk to you because of one drunk episode (since that's not how you usually are), then he's not worth pursuing.

[NiLa86]

Thanks. You're right and everyone keeps telling me that. Should I delete him from Facebook? I already deleted his number so that I don't make any drunken mistakes by texting.

[Anonymous]

You can apologize and try to explain. Promise it won't happen again

[toolt00l]

You should go up and apologize to him and talk to him sober. Tell him you felt stupid for how you acted and just strike up a nice conversation with him. And most importantly.. control yourself next time. No one wants to date someone who can't handle their alcohol.

That's actually exactly how my parents met (and neither one of them is a boozer). So there is still hope!

[NiLa86]

Thanks for the encouragement. I think that is a great idea, but I don't ever see him in person. Would you suggest a follow up text or Facebook message or email? I just don't want to come across pushy, needy, desperate or anything like that, granted since I have already made a complete and utter fool of myself. I literally acted the opposite of how I normally am. It sucks being in this position. :/

[toolt00l]

I don't know exactly how your communication relationship is with him, so only you know best what to do next. But my advice would be to make it happen very naturally. Don't turn it into a big ordeal where you have to meet somewhere and have a talk and yada yada. Don't overwhelm him but instead just apologize naturally and move on. Once you show your sincerity, don't dwell on the subject but instead show him that you're actually a really cool girl. As long as he see's new behavior it'll be fine.

[NiLa86]

Ok that sounds good. Ultimately I would really like to see how cool I can actually be. I'll just send a sincere message to him and call it a day. Some of the best things come naturally, so I'll take that advice. And if he doesn't get back to me... then I really messed up and he'd pretty much decided he doesn't want anything to do with me? What do you think?

[toolt00l]

Just make it simple if you message him. And if he doesn't get back to you I don't think it means that. I would just wait until you see him in person if you don't hear back. But I'm sure you will. People aren't that quick to develop permanent feelings on others.

[NiLa86]

Ok thanks. I'll keep everyone posted who answered my questions on this!