Boyfriends friend hit me

[Anonymous]

ok so recently my boyfriend and I and his friend have been hanging out.. his friend has this weird issue with hitting me.. like for example he's always making fun of me for something I say or how my hair is curly and fluffy.. and if I call him a d*** for being rude hell slap my thighs or even go as far as to bite my arm.. this past last time he bit my arm so hard I still have bite marks and it bruised in the shape of his teeth..and when he did it I tried pulling his head away from my arm and he wouldn't let go until I smacked him in the face..and a little while before he did that he punched my leg so hard I felt the force of it go through my entire leg.. its a huge bruise..and I'm not just complaining for no reason..this guy is huge.. I'm 5'2 and 115 pounds.. he's at least 2 to 3 times bigger then me and he's built like a football player..hes a security guard he's always excersizing and lifting weights..so he has really strong punches.. he hit me so hard I started crying it hurt so bad.. he can hit a guy and knock him out with one punch..and he didn't even try and tone it down at all I'm much smaller then him.. I just don't know why he would hit me..a girl like that.. I do know he had an abusive father when younger..but I don't know what I should do or why he acts this way..please help..if you read this all answers are accepted.. please..

[GoodManDave]

A friend's wife hit me, and probably harder than she thought she did. She thought it was funny until I glared at her and told her "That's it. You get one for free, and that was it. Next time, we're gonna have a problem." She hasn't done it since - I don't give her extra opportunities, though. Yes, I said that in front of her husband; and in front of her friends. She was out of line, and I let her know that I don't accept it.

I think your boyfriend's friend does it because he feels he can. Do you scream at him in public and embarrass him? Do you walk off? You don't, and he might keep doing it. I'm all for creative ways of keeping people from doing something; for me, I feel violence is last resort, but if it's down to defending myself, it's an option that I could use. And it's something I've started considering more seriously, so that if I ever DO get into an issue of danger, I'll know what to do.

I might even look into ditching your boyfriend. Does he SEE any of this abuse going on? Why isn't he stepping in? If he doesn't see it, then you need to MAKE HIM AWARE of what his friend is doing; You need to SHOW him these scars. And if he doesn't have a problem with it, and or won't talk to his friend, then that shows a major issue with him.

I was abused for YEARS. I have NEVER slapped, punched, or bit anyone (though I have defended myself from my abuser in some of these ways as self defense) I don't think I'd be capable of hitting a woman... unless she was coming at me with a knife or beating me to a pulp. Past abuse doesn't give anyone that right to abuse others. If I don't do it, (and I know others who have been abused and don't do it themselves), then others can control it.

Stand up for yourself. Get some mace, learn how to defend yourself (always good) and if your boyfriend's friend does not stop, and he starts this escalating abuse, (you MIGHT give him a warning before he ever starts anything again) give him the pepper spray. Teach him that it is not OK.

By the way, my abuser cut way back when he started becoming afraid I could pose a real threat to him if I was provoked enough. Some bullies are cowards, but some will keep a fight escalating until you show them you can pose a threat to them. That''s the only way most bullies ever learn.

[Asker]

thank you a lot..very helpful..and yeah I'm not someone that uses violence but I will if needed..like after he bit me I punched him in the balls..hard enough to make him cry..and this guy don't get embarrassed..ive tried.. and physically I can punch him back as hard as I can and it doesn't faze him.. I've showed my boyfriend and he said wed talk later but we still haven't..im bringing it up to him again..its unacceptable for him to hurt me when I never lay a hand on him..

[GoodManDave]

Ow, the balls! Normally, I don't cheer that sort of thing on, or find it funny, but... good for you! Has he tried anything after you hit him in the jewels? He's a stupid, stupid boy if he has tried anything That's pretty funny!

[mrsports008]

This guy needs to go to jail now and get raped. If he's doing this to you I can bet that he is doing it to other girls as well. He is a thug and you need to report him to the police, show them the bite marks. Don't do the ball punching thing, if you don't do it right you'll only piss him off and because of the size difference if he punches you hard he could literally kill you with one punch. Get him off the streets and in jail now. Also your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's being much of a help here, you should probably dump him if these are the types of people he hangs around.

[Anonymous]

well tlak to your boyfriend about it and decide what to say to his freind.

[Anonymous]

well me too... I think you and your boyfriend are idiots.. you boyfriend for having a friend like him let alone letting him come closer to you and OMG! leaving you alone with him, and you for having such boyfriend and still sticking aronud and asking for advice... well, if you are gonna listen to us, then listen clearly, this dude you mention is sick, very, very sick, as well is your boyfriend (if he knows about it and did nothing) and you should totally dump this guys ASAP and if you still feel insecure get some protection, ask for help from other people/police, cause I think he may not leave you alone even if you dump his a**... and you should never let this things happen to you and still keep mum, just tell him to f**k off...

[Asker]

trust me.. I didn't know he was this way.. my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and has never hit or disrespected me.. but not once did he invite his friend over till recently.. and when his friend bit me I punched him in the balls as hard as I could leaving him breathless and crying..

[Opinion Owner]

i understand, but what I am saying is, from a guy prespective, that we guys are (mostly) very territorial and protective, and if some guy hasn't reacted after such an incident (like your boyfriend) then he is too sumissive, he may back off in more dire situationsm when you really need him to defend you, he may run off, since (from what I gather) he too uncaring or a coward to defend you from a friend...

[DomCruise]

Tell your boyfriend to tell this dude to stop bein a biotch and stop. If he keeps doing it confront it for real and if he still won't stop and your boyfriend won't do anything, I'll knock him out for you. Or 2 months of boxing lessons will have your boyfriend tougher than most football security guard women hitters. Anyone can't knock a guy out with one punch

[martyfellow]

I'd get your boyfriend to have a talk with him. It sounds like he's attracted to you, but doesn't know how to communicate this except in the homoerotic 'guy' way of hitting you!

There are a lot of guys like this..

[Junior21]

if you tell your boyfriend this and nothing is done about it, you need to cut it off with him. cause this guy sounds like he has serious problems and that stuff will rub on on your boyfriend if it already didn't.

[Anonymous]

You should try to talk this out with your boyfriend.

[TouchTheSky]

I think you guys are idiots.

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't put up with that

[Anonymous]

tell your frined and ask him to tell him something