Today my boyfriend hit me...

We had gotten into an argument about my ex-boyfriend who recently began trying to contact me again. I, honestly, have been ignoring my ex's texts and calls because don't love him anymore and I truly do love my current boyfriend. however my current boyfriend did not believe me. we got into a heated argument and I got up to leave the room and he reared back his fist and punched me, I fell back and hit my head on the corner of the table and blacked, out, when I came to I was laying on the couch and he was sitting on the ottoman crying and when he saw that I was awake he stated apologizing like crazy. my head was bloody and my lip was split. I don't know what to make of this...advice?

Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice. I'm pleased to say that I did report the incident and file charges and he was arrested. I am no longer with him and I opened up to close friends about the incident have gotten nothing but unconditional support
again, thank you


Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell your family... get support from them and leave him... I know you love him but that isn't always the reason to stay. Be strong and stay strong... ditch your mobile phone number and get a new one... have other people answer any phones (he knows the number of) for them to tell him that you've gone away or something, and avoid seeing his face completely, get a trespass order, the pain and love will fade I promise you.. may take a while considering the time you have spent together... (usually half the time) People leave others even when they love them because it is not practical to stay... he needs to know never to hit another woman ever again, and if you are to stay that is not a lesson learned... he can do all the pleading he wants but that's only through the fear of losing you.. not because he didn't want to hurt you... if that was the case he would not of hit you in the first place. With love comes trust... and acceptance.

    Even if the chances were that you did still like you ex... so what?! He has got to learn how to deal with his emotions way better... he's got an iron fist and he should know when to use it and who to use it on... it's for protection not hitting your girlfriend when he gets that pinch of jealousy.

    99% chance it will happen again if you stay and you will feel the fool and it will kill your self esteem.

    Many woman don't leave and eventually destroys all or most of who they are.. don't be a sad statistic. Take it from me I have met these women and this is how it starts.

    I'm so sorry about it anyhow and it must have hurt emotionally and physically really bad.. you are not and don't feel protected by you boyfriend with obvious reasons.. no more pain... you can get the love you need from another and not get hurt like this. I am so sorry gal... it's hard... but please leave!

    • Leave without warning... please don't tell him... it will only make things worse... he won't need an explanation... he will already know.

    • Well said.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 52

  • Let me tell you what to make of it. If he hit you once, he is going to hit you again...and again and again. I have told this same story on this site before and will do it again in the hopes it may sa ve your life.

    I have stepped between thug, ass holes like your boy friend on too many occassions...and will have to really think about it before I do it again. My wife was furious for my doing it, when I was married, and also did it when I was a single, younger guy.

    If you stay with this barbarian son of a b*&^ will need a body guard, and maybe a burial plot before you need more hospitalization insurance...

    Not many men are willing to interfere in a domestic beating, and I am not sure I ever will again, because so many stupid, needy, gullible women go back to these ass holes when they cry and say they are sorry, my father was one of thos ass holes and had I been bigger when My day was abusing my mother...I would have killed the bastard.

    Don't get some other guy or woman killed or injured when they try to protect you THE NEXT TIME he hits you ...and god damn it ,he will...

    I can't be there to beat him to death...the next time he knocks you unconscous..and probably no one else will either...

    Get the hell away from this ass hole, and stay away and stay alive.


  • It's never about "leaving him" or "loving him too much." It's about loving yourself enough to not put yourself in situation of abuse.

    You can love him all you want, but if it's "okay" for someone to abuse you physically or mentally, then the real problem is how much you love yourself.

    We teach others how to treat us and by staying you're basically teaching him it's okay to repeat his abusive mistakes.

    Nobody can tell you what to do with your life, just realize that it's choices like THIS that will improve or devastate the rest of your life.

    Seek advice from a loving mature female mentor as fast as possible.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

  • Here's what to make of it:

    With your ex boyfriend - If you want him to leave you alone, don't just ignore him; Tell him.

    - We men are very territorial when it's someone we care about. If you don't tell him, you're leaving the door open for jealousy issues and drama (But hopefully not physical violence)

    With your current boyfriend - Both you and him are scar'd for a while. Your bruises and trust are scar'd; but his trust and ego is damaged. No real man wants to hit his girlfriend; it's likely that this all happened due to the heated debate.

    With the situation: GET THE @#$% OUT OF THE HOUSE

    Look.. I'm not trying to "smash" on anyone; but sitting around is the same as patting him on the back: "I still love you john, it's okay"... Bullsh*t! The dude socked you in the face hard enough to make you black out.

    You may not be a fragile girl; I get that. But if you don't plant your foot down, no one will. He needs to realise in his head that this doesn't need to happen. Socking a wall is a better alternative. If the panzy wants to hit women, his ass should go to jail; no offence to your boyfriend - I just flat out don't tolerate it until certain "limits" have been met (Like if she has her hand around my kid's throat)

    Right now you need to think deeply - Are you gonna sit around and get smacked about just because you're avoiding your ex? It doesn't make a dime of sense to me and here you are still recovering from the crap probably to this month.

    I can only hope and pray that you're one of the smart women that find a new boyfriend.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Dud, she did try to leave. I don't balm her in thinking that wasn't successful. besides she did resolve it the right way in the end.

  • It's not just bad that he hit you - he also did it for NO REASON WHATSOEVER!

    He did it, because he DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER BELIEVING IN YOU!

    He hit you, because he is such an ignorant BASTARD, that he even forgot how to trust his own girlfriend.

    I'll understand if you want to give him another chance. But do consider, that if you stay with him on this one, the next time he does it, he will DEFINITELY think that you're just going to forgive him again. So he won't even feel sorry at all... There's a VERY high chance that he's just gonna repeat it the next time he gets p*ssed off for no reason.

    Real men talk things out. Only pathetic imbecils like this one resort to hitting their girlfriends, because it's the only thing that makes sense in their tiny little brains

  • Wow. Some of the female answers here are saying to give him one more chance. This sad. DO NOT. This guy wasn't crying because he hurt YOU. He was crying because he was afraid of what you will do to hurt HIM, i.e. press charges.

    Take action, or leave.

    And don't listen to this people saying to give him one chance. This is no accident.

  • In all my anger, in all my frustrations, I have never hit a girl before.

    I understand he cried, but honey, no girl on earth deserves to be punched by her own boyfriend. No matter what she did or said. This is a dangerous precursor that I hope you notice. Leave him, and stay away from your ex too.

    Your current boyfriend will cry and whine, but for the most part, he was crying cause he was afraid of what you would do to him. Please leave. Before it gets worse.

    • Hopes the poor gal stays sane enough to leave aye... we see eye to eye on this one.

    • Oh? Something tells me you disagree with me a lot from your comment.

  • I think the obvious thing to do is to leave. As abusive relationships tend to only get worse. Personally, my dad hit my mom once, but she pushed his limits. He's never touch her since. That may or may not have been 5 years since. Nevertheless, I've stood up for her countless times. So that may or may not have been why it seized to exist.

    But as a male, and a man of respect, you shouldn't have to endure such pain in anyway or form. There is better out there for you, trust me, some men would die to make you happy. You just may have looked passed them on countless occasions. Open your eyes and see them, or open your eyes and see this issue. That's all I can say, if you choose to stay, that is by all means your business. We as a community can only tell you what we think is best for your physical health. You as a an individual (risk taker) have to make the leap of faith.

    By the way, how big is this guy; I mean, is he a body builder?

    • I'm a body builder....................I would have to kill this C*&^ S*&^%$

    • Lol @ Bruce.... Body Builder= Invincible. .. I'm not so sure lad?

  • You should stay with him, so that way if he gets jealous again he can lose his control and punch you again. Honestly, you should have him go to an anger management class. get himself together, and in the meantime, you need to say you need a "break" until he gets himself together. He will eventually say he has gotten himself together, rather its true or not. you should just go on with your life. and maybe find another guy you like before he gets "better" according to him. and obviously my first sentence was sarcasm

  • OK, stay with the guy if you truly believe any of the following :

    1) you deserved to get hit

    2) being knocked unconscious by someone you love is an acceptable behaviour

    3) love triumphs your own personal safety

    Because THIS is what it comes down to.


    You will love other people, but you do not deserve to be hit under the threat of violence.

    And then suggest that he seeks out anger management classes.

    Also, call the police. Drop the charges later if you like, but he has to know without any confusion that YOU CANNOT DO THAT SHIT EVER.

    For what it is worth, this site will not allow me to make the font bigger or bolder, so where you see all caps, assume I'm holding your arms and saying this very loudly to you.

    • You wouldn't believe how many girls have that mentality

    • @smentor991 - I know. It's a wonder how the douchebags of the world end up with wonderful women and how these wonderful women accept this 'fate'.

      @question asker - I am proud of you. You did very much the correct thing in all cases.

  • NO ONE DESERVES TO BE HIT. Leave him okay Hun, this is not love, this is abuse and you need to leave him, it will be hard but leave him, you deserve a better man then this. I don't care what he says, leave him and tell him that with that hit you won't ever get back together because you shouldn't. One hit can lead to multiple hits, its a icy slope and I want women every were to have a good man, and this man is not a good man by doing that.

    • I just need to add on, This might be hard to do, but there are something in life which are not acceptable, and he used up all his chances, I wish I was your friend because I would pull out an aluminum bat and say to this guy to leave you alone, I am sorry I am harsh towards any man who lays an abusive hand against women.

  • Everyone's being over dramatic in here... They are jumping the stereotypical conclusion that your boyfriend is no good and was upset in the end because he feared what you would do.

    Yes this is a possibility...

    But when I was younger I was rough and foolish. Whenever I hurt someone I wouldn't be upset thinking about what they'll do to me. I would be upset because I tell myself that I should have controlled myself, I should have been thinking properly.

    I get upset because I see them injured and I regret it all and feel heavy remorse and wish it hadn't happened... But I have since changed because people CAN change no matter what anyone tells you. We all have our barriers to change though such like my father, but even he is changing...

    It's your choice to assess your future in this relationship. But here is some advice to help your assessment.

    - I would talk to him about what had happened. This topic is uncomfortable so establishing the comfort before talking about it is best. If he still refuses let it go and tell him that you'll talk about it another time.

    - If you do get into the topic ask him why he was upset when you woke on the couch.

    - Ask him what pushed him into hitting you.

    - At the end I would tell him that you forgive him. Even if he doesn't have the stress of remorse which I'm sure he does, it will still help by doing so.

    This is your choice, you can leave whenever you want or you can stay if you truly love him.

    • There is no excuse for hitting a woman ever.period. the end. Only spineless, weak, men hit women.How dare you imply that if she TRULY loves him she'll stay, and let him beat the living crap out of her! But then again maybe in your world happily ever after ends with the woman in a body bag huh.

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    • He hit her once, just once. He's not an abuser yet, I believe in second chances, thirds, not so much. Think what you want not all guys are the same.

    • "So what does that make Women who hit Men, knowing they can't hit them back? - 5 days ago

      "Thiezz" - It makes those women exceptions to the "don't hit women" rule ;) "

      lol Excellent *

  • Get out of there and fast if he has hit you once he will do it again , the weakest guys normally hit girls and will often never stand up to another man as we hit back you see , I would tell him to stay away and call the cops if you feel threatened again and even consider reporting this one, never let a guy hit you there is never any excuse for a guy using physical violence against a girl

  • Obviously this is all very confusing to you.

    You would have never done this.

    You do not know any one who would have done this.

    Clearly, there must be some explanation.

    May be you did something wrong? May be he misunderstood something? He was overcome by emotion? May be he loves you so much that he can not stand the thought of you thinking about your ex?

    He was so apologetic and was crying. So, he must have lost control and needs to be forgiven and given a second chance.

    These are the thoughts and explanations girls go through to try and understand and this leads to continuation of abuse. Violence followed by apology is what keeps the abused from leaving.



    What if he had done this to some one on the street? Some one who does not know him? Would not police have been called and he arrested? Then why should he be allowed to get away because he did this to some one who he"loves"?

    He does not love you. He wants to own you.



  • Dump his ass. He will probably hit you again. No one deserves to be hit.

  • leave.

    a man should never have to apologize for hitting a woman in the first place.

    that's like killing a pet and then apologizing like crazy.. the deed's been done, there's no going back..

  • Wow.

    This is serious. Only you can decide how to handle this, but I think this does not sound like a healthy relationship.

    In his defense, it sounds like this guy does truly regret what he did, so he's not exactly some serial rapist who is stalking you, he's not like an evil monster or anything, he's a guy who got mad and did something he can't take back. On the other hand... damn. He hit you. He not only hit you, he hit you really hard.

    Honestly I do not think there is any salvaging this relationship. He made a HUGE mistake, I mean if he can't control his anger now, do you trust him to control his anger in the future? Will you ever look at him the same again? Will you ever trust him again? Would you want to?

    If you had been with this guy for 10 years, and this was the only time this ever happened, maybe give him ONE and only one more chance, if he ever hits you again leave immediately. But if you've only known this guy a few months, I don't think its worth it.

    If I were talking to the guy, I'd say this: "How is punching your girlfriend even an option?" I mean no matter how angry I get I'd never do that. For me if I flat out completely lost control, I can imagine throwing things or breaking things I can imaging saying horrible stuff, yelling, but punching a girl is not something I'd do unless I was attacked and the girl was trying to kill me. I'd be worried that it even occurred to him to do that.

  • Ok... the thing is... you should probably leave this guy NOW. It will likely save you a ton of trouble. HOWEVER, if you do stick around... and it's likely you will... they all do for a while... you should seriously consider filing a complaint or taking some pictures etc. so that there is proof of the event. You need to tell him that you will leave him instantly with no talking or arguing if it happens again. And you need to stick to it. If this guy lays hands on you... pushing, slapping, hitting or ANYTHING you simply have to be done with it. No talks. Just move on.

    It is possible for a young man to make this mistake and truly regret it, learn from it and not repeat it.

    All that said... giving you a busted lip, knocking you into the table and causing you to black out is really dramatic. If he outright punched you in the face then he has some SERIOUS self control issues and he could be a danger to be around. So I know you probably won't, but please please please you must seriously consider just walking away NOW.

  • 1th thing,if you were my daughter or sister I'd kill him.Wait I'd ask him some questions the kill him!A man should not hit a woman no matter what she has done and not to mention you didn't even hit him first.I don't care what the situation is if you get mad walk away don't put you hands on a woman,your not her father.Anyway it sounds like the first time so talk and don't stick around for the second time.If you feel like he is gonna hit you ever again, leave.

  • A lot of Females on here giving advice to "Leave him"., Yet I wonder what they would do if they were in a relationship and truly loved the person?

    I'm guessing that about 50% of women would give the person another chance. I'm not saying this is the right thing to do but that's just how love can mix your mind up and assist in lousy decision making.

    It's easy to give out advice and say leave him when you are not in that situation yourself. But you need to hold back and give advice.

    What if it was the other way round. What advice would you give to a man who is getting hit on by the Woman? What does that make the woman?

    Anyway; To the question asker. The advice I give to you is be very cautious whatever decision you make. If you decide to give him another chance you need to set certain rules of what you will and will not accept. You need to make a promise to yourself that if he crosses any of those barrieers then you leave him straight away.

    If you decidde to leave him then do so with your head held high as it takes a really strong willed person to not let their head rule thier heart.

    Good luck to you.

    • NEVER give a second chance to wifebeaters! :@

    • Show All
    • "You can love him all you want, but if it's "okay" for someone to abuse you physically or mentally, then the real problem is how much you love yourself."

      - IMPORTANT point... Well said Robby*

      - It is not about him - SHE is the one writing SHE is the one threatened, & as far as all the second chance what ifs..., if someone acts subhuman, the do not deserve human chances.

      Who cares if he is sorry, it shows that that is how he deals with his emotions.. Who said guys wee not emotional ^ ^

    • This is very true, it took me 5 years to leave the man that was hitting me & no one understood why I would go back to him, but I did love him. but I also learned the hard way . it never gets any better, I just had to figure it out for myself.

  • There's no excuse for hitting you. No excuse, no excuse. Dump him. This will happen again unless he gets therapy.

    I feel rreally bad because I flirted with a girl once and her boyfriend beat her up...not as badly as a punch in the face, but was my fault, she couldn't help my flirting with her, but he was one of the 'I own you' types like yours.

    So please take my advice!

  • Sounds like a d-bag, drop him honey, you deserve better.

    • You don't live in Illinois by any chance do you? I'm sure ITL here wouldn't mind teaching him a pretty good lesson.

  • Two things:

    If you love your current boyfriend you must cut off all communications with your ex-boyfriend, you have created a grey area and males don't like grey areas, they are just too open and flexible, you need to protect your relationship and give him confidence in you, after all it is the female who sets the boundries and if you create these grey areas other males will try to penetrate more than just your relationship.

    Your current boyfriend reacted very poorly, he handled a situation with brute force, if you think about it, this would have never gone that far if proper boundries had been set by you with other males, be correct and clear about whom you want in your life, I believe it was him who punched you, I also believe it was him who picked you up, briught you to the couch and felt incredibly guilty and sorry for what he had done, you must also set boundries in your own relationship, hitting a woman or a man is not acceptable in a relationship, when things go down to that level there has clearly been a breakdown in communication.

    Thisnk! if he was in contact with another woman and didn't want to cut it off and made you feel insecure, would you want to skin him alive?

    There is an old saying, "The Golden Rule" "Do unto other as you would hvae others to do unto you"

    Take a quiet moment and grow from this!

    Good luck and all the best to you!

    • What part of I was ignoring the texts from my ex was unclear? communication is a two way street, I was not talking to my ex, my current boyfriend (now ex) assumedi was despite what I had told him there fore he was the one witht the trust/communication issues. there is NO excuse for what he did to me AT ALL and implying so is not only insulting, but irresponsible.

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    • You're a moron

    • Wow seriously how is it her fault at all that he didn't have the self control to handle things in a better way? I'm thinking you have probably done a little woman beating yourself to defend it so strongly! I think she did the right thing! some people have trust issues that have nothing to do with how their partner is acting at all! you should never give adivce in this catagory ever again!!!!!

  • If you don't react to this right now, he may think that you will never react to such physical acts.

    You have to react as fast as possible.

    Try not to talk to him for at least a week, not returning his calls, not texting him, etc.

    After a week, tell him that you are ready to forgive him.

    • Tell him she's ready to forgive him? Are you f** serious?

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    • NEVER give a second chance to wifebeaters! :@

    • Honey, my ex promised me & begged me to stay & said he would never do it again. don't believe him trust me I know from experience. don't be stupid.

  • Call the police and report it. It's very important that these types of incidents are documented. I know that you probably don't want to get him in trouble but guys typically don't just do that once. Having it on his record means that if he does again to you or someone else he'll be punished.

    Guys don't punch girls... ever. Any guy who crosses that line needs serious help.

    My girl and I have been in quite a few arguments but I have never once even thought about punching her. This one time I got my girl in the eye with an elbow when we were tickle fighting. Probably the hardest I've ever hit anyone. That was an accident and I cried because I felt really bad that I hurt her... so yeah I bet he was crying but that doesn't change the fact that he hit you.

    Sometimes sorry isn't enough.

  • First of all, lets talk about your ex. If you truly have no feelings for him and he is bothering you, then you should have said something much earlier to your current boyfriend. It is your boyfriends business to be aware of any mis going ons with your ex's or else it might look as if you are running around behind his back. That one way, you got what you deserved. I know it is horrible hearing that. The amount of emotional stress your boyfriend received all at one time as a surprise was probably over-whelming. As for the physical violence he showed on you...well that is unforgivable. In the future it will only get worse unless he gets help. I feel you both need to get help professionally if you care for each other, as I suspect.

    • I would agree that you should leave anyone whose abusive even if its just in the heat of the moment..however you seem like you love him therapy is needed on both far as your ex..if you were truly tired of his texts you should have changed your # or blocked him to get the point across..for your relationships wouldve saved time and stress..

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    • I'm sorry but this is a bitch ass post. Only a bitch ass man will hit his girlfriend for a reason like that.

    • WoW...I hope you get what you deserve... :)


    Dump that moron asap and make sure that every girl in your world knows why you dumped that caveman.

  • Christ. if you fell, hit your head and blacked out, that means you suffered a traumatic brain injury. It's also known as a TBI. You definitely suffered a severe concussion and probably don't realize it. You should be evaluated immediately by a neurologist.

    Post concussion syndrome could set in and believe me I'm having a hard enough time trying to deal with it. It's tough.

    You also need to file assault charges, because it's never right to hit a girl. Nothing justifies it. Guys are naturally stronger than girls...this whole thing is complete BS.

  • leave his ass I cud never in my life hit a women its a sign of what's to come run and run fast change ur numbe rmaybe even go to the cops that's bullsh*t

  • Leave him right now!

    He hit you once he will be more likely to do it again. And if you put up with it once you will put up with it again and again.

    He doesn't trust you that is made clear by the way he reacted to your ex contacting you. He doesn't love you, that is made clear by his lack of trust and violent behavior towards you. He just wants to control you.

    DO NOT STAY WITH THIS PIG FOR 1 MORE DAY. You might not live to regret it.

  • There is no second chance for hitting you.

    The fact he did t shows he at this point in life can't control himself.

    You need to be apart from him for awhile atleast. If he ever did it again the cops need to be called.

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 91

  • It will just get worse...

    And he will always apologize.

    He has anger issues, and he needs help.

    You should talk to him about this.

    Tell him you love him and you care, but that you have to break up wtih him for your own safety. If he really loves you, he will understand and will try to get help to fix his anger problem. Let him know you will be there for him, as a friend. But until he is "healed" you have to leave him.

    Sticking with him, and waiting will not make things better. He will def do it again.

  • I know both you and I know that he isn't a brute. He is probably the most loving man you have ever met. He takes care of you like no one else has and makes you feel safer than anyone else. That's because men who hit have a specific personality. He's a caring, loving, very insecure guy who has a slight streak of jealousy. But that jealousy starts to get a little out of control. In the relationship you can feel yourself getting a little less opinionate, a little more worried about his needs then you should, and a little more afraid of hurting him then you should but you just can't put your finger on why that is. The jealousy over old boyfriends turns into jealousy over any man. It turns into jealousy over friends and family. I truly believe you did ignore your ex cause that's what happens. You really have no desire to get into a fight with your boyfriend so you avoid anything that will do that.

    So the first time he hits you it's over something like this. Something where it seems he is just so full of passion for you. Something where both of you can convince yourself it was sort of understandable. Wrong, but understandable.

    But something happened when he hit you that you don't realize. He just taught himself that all those feelings of weakness and feeling less like a man go away when he hits you. He felt strong when lashing out at the source of his pain, you. After it's over, he immediately feels sick to his stomach. So he is going to cry and he is going to promise to never do it again. And he is going to be sincere, in that moment. But the problem is that he just learned that the quick fix is not to hit, but to dominate. So it's not always going to be hitting. And it's not always going to be over a man. It will be over money, over opinions, over sex, over decisions. It is going to be shoving, hair pulling, screaming, demeaning. All those things are going to give him a rush of testosterone and give him his power back. Watching you cower will make him feel strong. And he becomes addicted to that feeling.

    And what happens to you is you become a mouse. Any strength you have is gone. Because it is easier to take a hit then try and fight with him. Also, you will become addicted to the "honeymoon phase" after the hits. That's when you are the dominate one. He will grovel and beg and buy you things and you feel like a million bucks. That's why the cycle works so well. Cause after you are at your lowest point in pain, you are on top of a mountain feeling amazing. But that will end because he will forget, he will care a little less every time, and he will start thinking more and more "She made me do it!". Cause a man like that can only take groveling for so long. It builds resentment that he feels weak and the cycle starts again.

    I know this seems like a drastic response to just one punch but every woman who ends up in a hospital beaten half to death started with just one punch.

    • SO, SO, SO glad to hear the update that you left him! It is good to see someone make such a wise choice when there are emotions involved.

  • If he'll hit you once he'll hit you a thousand times. You did nothing wrong for him to even justify hitting you (not that hitting a woman EVER needs justification). Don't be a victim to his abuse. You're young and you have you're entire life ahead of you. Do you really want to spend it being someone's punching bag when they cannot control their anger?

    Let's play the if game.

    IF you stay and IF he hits you again and IF you land on that corner just right and IF you're put into a coma, or worse, should he be able to just walk free?

    No it's against the law.

    Should you or would you stay with him after this happened?

    My guess is no.

    So why give him the chance to make things worse for you?

    IF he LOVED YOU he wouldn't have hit you in the first place.

    My advice is to leave him. If he hits you call the cops and get a restraining order.

    Do not give him a second chance JUST because he felt bad about hitting you. I guarantee you he wasn't crying because he felt bad about hitting you. I know 100% it was more because he wasn't sure what he was going to do if you had a serious injury FROM him hitting you.

    ALSO if it made you black out and HE DIDN'T CALL 911... yeah... pretty sure that says enough right there. He doesn't care enough for you to ensure your safety or to worry of your health. There is not matter here IF he hit you because he didn't care enough to get you medical attention when you should have had it. PLEASE do not stick around for this to "play out". Turn around and never look back. TRUE LOVE CAN FIGHT BACK THE URGE TO HIT SOMEONE YOU DO TRULY CARE ABOUT!

    Best Wishes and I hope you get through this as smoothly as possible. If you need to talk just msg me on here. I know a lot regarding abuse and women simply shouldn't stand for it. You are worth more than an outlet for frustrations.

    Take it easy.


  • Rising your hand to a woman is just wrong. The only way I will justify this is if the man is in a physically abusive relationship as well and he hits her as self defensive (you can always just pick her up and throw her, if I was hitting you in the heat of the argument I would understand why you did it). On that note, this isn't a good sign if you two haven't been dating for long. Regardless of why he was upset it's the fact that you tried to walk away from the convo and that's how he stops you?...

    The way I see it is it's like breaking the seal, it doesn't matter if this was the first time with you or the first time ever he has done this, if it was done once the chances of abuse continuing is probable. Don't be scared to tell him you won't stand for this and mean it! Then walk away from him (do you really want that in the back of your mind the next time you two have a heated argument? Being on the ground with a black eye? Then thinking of lies to tell others where it came from?) No one really benefits from a situation like this. The female lives scared and the man (who needs help) isn't getting that help and runs the possibility of hitting his future children from not being able to control his anger.

    Sorry disrespectful in my books (I don't even let my father raise his hand to me, I'm sure as hell ain't gonna let any other man do that to me).

    Good luck to you.

  • You're asking advice on a public forum, which shows you know there's something a miss here.

    Arguments happen and things can get heated. The thing I would be concerned about his inability to deal with his anger and the fact that he lashed out at you.

    I have experienced this before, its an awful situation to be in. I can't advise you on what to do, I can only say what happened is wrong.

    I don't know if this is out of character for your boyfriend or if he has a tendency to violent outbursts.

    Me personally, after what I have experienced would be out of the door quicker than he could say sorry. I am no angel but I don't hit the people I love.

  • If I were you I would get out as soon as possible if he does t one time he will surely do it again. Love doesn't hurt and if he gets so enraged and jealous over a few texts and phone calls imagine what else he is capable of. I mean when you came to he didn't even try to help you and you head was bleeding.You should really leave him next he'll be buying you all kinds of gifts and saying sweet things and how sorry he is until you set him off again and he bashes your skull in. Get Out now before this becomes a regular occurance in your relationship PLEASE!

  • leave him...he's probably bound to do it again...even if you do love him its not worth hving sumone treat you unfairly..also he's probably the type to get jealous; if he punched u, it's most definitely not an accident..and tell someone bout this..its better to let someone know because if you dnt and you daty w/him and sumthin bad happens no ones gonna noe why he did it cusz you nvr spoke up.

    hope this helps! (:

  • I will quote what Oprah said


    Please leave him instantly. For the sake of your well-being, all the people who answered you here will give you the definite support to do it. It's very difficult to do so, but you must and you will leave. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated like that. Also tell your family and friends about this to get support.

  • You need to leave him and quickly. Any guy who cannot control himself enough that he would hit a girl, is a dangerous guy. And, once they get the taste of hitting you, they will do it again, and again.

    When a guy is so threatened by an ex trying to contact you, that is a sign of an insecure guy. It is the insecurity (which runs deeper than you realize) that is the worse thing about this. When a guy is insecure they need a way to feel in control and in charge again. When they hit a girl, that is their way of feeling good again, until the next thing comes along that triggers them to remember how insecure they really are. And then they hit you again.

    I went through this in my teens and luckily I did finally leave the guy. His ability to hit me was a drug to him, I much later realized. Everytime something in his life upset him, he could take it out on me. Short of him recognizing his problem and getting serious help, I am sure he still hits women today.

    • Oh, and in case there is any confusion, not all insecure guys hit girls. But once a guy does, the feeling it gives him is empowering and as far as I can tell, hard to resist. Also, not all guys or girls have deep feelings of insecurity. I think we all have our ups and downs in this area, some more than others, but there are those that are truly, deeply affected by insecurity on a regular basis, and, again, when it is a guy and he resorts to violence, it is a hard habit to stop.

  • It's an age old saying that if he hits you once he will again. I am really sorry about what happened to you no matter what you did it doesn't give him the right to lay his hands on you let alone to the point where you were blacked out. If you really truly are willing to make this relationship work then it is in the best interest for the both of you for him to seek counseling. He obviously has an anger and trust issue. I understand many people believe that if he does it once he'll do it again but I do believe that people like this need help and with enough time and counseling can get better. My advice to you would be to take a break from him until things cool down. Let him know that you think he should seek counseling but give him his space right now to get better and to think about his actions. I will keep you and him in my prayers and I hope everything works out for the best.

  • He isn't sorry. He wouldn't have hit you otherwise. It isn't good behavior on his part and he should check into counselling perhaps to resolve his anger issues and insecurity.

    If he chooses not to believe you that you love him more than your ex, then it's your fault. It's not right he hit you for no reason.

  • I see that you love him, because you wouldn't consider staying with him if you didn't. This is serious though. Me and my boyfriend do get in heated arguments but he never punches me. He punches the walls or something but never me and I have been with him for 3 years. Maybe you should talk to him see if he can get help for this. Tell him you love him and make him understand that you would leave him if you didn't. You wouldn't still be with him if you loved your ex, especially after that little incident. If your decision is to stay with him just definitely get him to get help with his anger issues because he clearly has some. No guy hits a girl ever! He has to understand that! I mean if you didn't love him so much I would tell you to leave him. But emotions are involved and you do like him. he let his jealousy and anger really take over and that can't happen again. He really needs help containing it.

  • I don't care how angry he was, how sad he was post-punching...get out! No one, guy or girl, deserves to be beaten around. that's just no respect for you whatsoever! Its just that if he got angry like THAT over just text msgs you haven't replied to, think: what if things in the future creates an argument and he hits you again? if he's done it once, he can do it again. when he gets enraged, the button for hitting gets pressed...i think it can happen again and I really don't want you to endanger yourself again!

  • i'd give him one more chance.. and if he does it ONE more time, than leave him.

    and how long have you both dating for?

    I mean everyone makes mistakes, and if he was crying about it, and was truley sorry.

    I'm sure he didn't mean to, and he will never do it again.

    Although I never had to deal with a guy who hit me before.

    I always said that if a guy ever touched me, as in hit me I would never talk to them ever again.

    But it never happened to me, and you love him.

    So just give him one more chance.

    • Why the hell would you even give someone the opportunity to hit you AGAIN?! If he didn't mean to do it... and TRULY didn't mean to do it... he shouldn't HAVE DONE IT. He could have seriously injured her if she would have hit that corner just right. When someone is hit for the first time and they wake from their coma 4 years later should they still give that guy another chance? It COULD have happened. WEEPING OR NOT it was something that he couldn't control and won't be able to without counseling

    • Show All
    • Oh my god, sweetheart, they all apologize!! But the apology never keeps them from hitting again. Please understand that if a man hits a woman it isn't anger. It's a very, very specific mindset that he has gotten into probably from childhood.

      Please understand that a man hitting you is like you beaten a child. Wouldn't you feel sorry afterward too? But wouldn't you be in a very bad place in your mind to get to the point of beating a child?

      That's why we say leave.

    • Cam1423 is probably her boyfriend lol read my story above... give me a break... of course they all cry and hit again... abuse is abuse... wish i was on this thread when i needed help. i was on another professional thread and they said give him another chance and he beat me...

  • The only thing you can do is dump him and get out while you can! It only gets easier and easier to hit someone and "apologize" afterwards but it doesn't mean anything! He shouldn't have even hit you that hard in the first place a real man would never do that. Please get out before you ruin your life.

  • hey I've been there, this could be an accident or a warning sign that he's abusive and controling of my old bfs used to push me so hard id go flying back this is assault. I know how it feels especially if you love them. Just remember that if this keeps happening then its not OK to keep forgiving him. If he did it once he can do it again. You love him a lot so if you don't want t end it with him yet, all you can do is forgive him and move on. But if he does it again, it won't get better only worse the more you stay with him, I know from experience. And its tough the longer you stay guys like that don't tend to change, they have anger issues and can't resort to any other way then you unlease on their loved one. That type of relationship is dangerous, and many girl have ended up killed by their own boyfriend, accident of not. So pay close attention to him from now, and take note of any other warning signs that may come your way.


    - how does he treat his parents, does he scream and yell at them often?

    -is he controling has he ever grabbed you or forced you to do somthing you didn't want.?

    -does he respect you free time or privacy? a controling guy won't care for your things he thinks he has the right to look through anything after all your his property and he thinks he owns you,

    - has he had history of violence with his exs?

    - when you decide to leave or go out does he try to start a fight to stop you?

    a controling guy is munipulative and will start a fight over anything he doesn't want you to do, ending in him getting what he wants.

    anyways I hope this helps.

  • What is there to 'make' of it?! Get out NOW. No real man would ever hit a woman, and no man who truly loved you would ever hurt you like that, nonetheless distrust you. This guy will hurt you again, don't be fooled by the crocodile tears and fake sympathy.

  • I'm so glad by the time I read this question, you've already done the right thing.

    A man hitting a woman is NEVER right. there really is NO excuse. If he's frustrated with you, he can just walk off. Abusers are always the type of guys who act totally non-confrontational when dealing with other people but the moment they get home, they beat the crap out of their kids, wife, girlfriend, pets for the smallest of "infractions". These abusers basically imagine they're constantly getting wronged or getting slighted by their significant other. Even in your case, he hit you over nothing. And even if you DID have feelings for your Ex, SO WHAT? it still doesn't justify hitting a woman!

    I hope lots of women in abusive relationships will see your question and realize they need to get away from the abuser!

    abusers are weak, puny, pathetic excuse for a man! They only pick on those who are weaker and love them the most. Abusers are too much of a wuss to take on a real man in a fight so they go and attack those they should be protecting instead!

  • Omg okay first of all that is assault so you would be completely in the right if you pressed charges on him.

    Break up with him. Do not accept his apologies or think that he means anything he says. He doesnt. What you need to do is not be his girlfriend anymore and stay away from him. you don't even have to talk to him anymore. Your safety could be at risk because he could do this again. If he flips out over this kind of bull that is a product of his jealousy anyway, him assaulting you will not be a 1 time thing. If you stay with him it WILL happen again.

    Tell your close friends and family so they can support you.

    • Its actually battery, assault is just a threat, at least in the US, its different in different countries though awesome how the law works.

  • okay, I really don't think this was an accident.

    i think he got super jealous and couldn't handle it.

    he needs trust issues help and anger help

    yes tell him you need a break or leave him for good.

    this isn't love if he hit you over something that wasn't even true.

    just do what's best for you.

    none of us girls deserve too be hit.

    i can c like getting close too the face but not actually touching when playing around but he put alota force into that, so do what you think is right

  • I'm glad you're doing better, and that you did the smart thing! :)

    One other thing to think about here is this: Why didn't he drive you to the hospital? Why did he just put you on the couch?!?

    He is demented!

    And what Littletad pointed out, he cried because he was worried about himself, not you! ---and THAT'S WHY he didn't drive you to the hospital or why he didn't call the ambulance. . .

  • First and foremost, no matter the situation, a REAL Man...will NEVER hit a woman. He will take the time to ask question and see what you have to say. One who will not result to hitting you just because he was upset that your ex starting texting you. I can understand that there may have been some kind of misunderstanding between that for him to do that. This may have been the first time, I don't know, yes he may have cried about it. Like I said, a REAL Man will never hit a woman. With that said, situations like these will only progress to a worse situation.

    Secondly, if you really care about your boyfriend and want things to work, you need to go to psychologist. You two need to work through this and see if it worth saving the relationship. Keep in mind, that this threatens your physical safety and there is nothing worse than living in fear, with the one that you love.

    Third, if you do plan on working this out, please keep some kind of record of this event. Write a journal about it and be as detailed about this as much as possible. Take a picture of your injuries and make sure that the date stamp is on the picture and give a copy of that to a trusted friend to keep. Also, to make sure that you didn't get any crucial head injuries...Go to the ER. You need to worry about yourself above all, if you're not happy with your life...who will make it that way.

    Be safe and think about this as much as you can, for your own safety

  • dump his ass! and you should have called 911 after you got concious, nomatter how much he apologised, that's domestic violence and abusive relationships never work out (unless ur one of those who get a kick out of it (no pun intended)) shame on him if he hit you once and shame on you if he hit you twice

  • Love yourself first... accept the fact he has serious trust issues he needs to sort out on his own.

    • I agree. It seems like he has serious trust issues. I wouldn't break up with me because he hit you.....but if he continues not to trust you, then I would call leave him.

  • LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM. He is abusive...I'm sure he did apologize, and tell you it will never happen again, he loves you, he made a mistake...Blah , blah. Blah. IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN! Whether it happens next week, or next month, it WILL happen again. And it will get worse. Tell EVERYONE you know--take pictures and document the evidence. Call the police an file a report.

    Please, please, GET OUT. Do not stay and be victim. There is NO excuse for abusing you, and YES it was abuse. HE IS AN ABUSER. HE WILL DO IT AGAIN. YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF AND LEAVE HIM.

  • I think everyone here pretty much said it. LEAVE NOW! He will end up doing it again. He has control issues. Best wishes, you don't deserve that.

  • f***ing leave now. that's not a joke. that's abuse. if you love someone who hits you ...your dumb simple as that.

  • i will give the you the best advice you will ever get, and you better listen to me. I was with my "baby daddy" for 5 years, and the whole time he would hit me, and always promise it would never happen again. it took me that long to realize he would never stop, & it always got worse. he was going to end up killing me eventually. a man that hits you doesn't love you. I don't give a f**** what he says. leave him now, before it gets to the point where you are afraid to leave him like I was.

  • i have been in situations similar to this and 3 years later still never had the guts to break it off. I promise you that if you let this slide eventually it will happen again. after I ended my relationship with my madly-in-love, semi-abusive boyfriend I decided to work at a hotline for domestic violence. my ex was completely in love with me. I thought he would do anything in the world to make me happy. but he would still break into my house, wouldn't respect my wished when I asked him to leave or when I asked him to get off of me. if he wanted to talk I knew I didn't have the option. he would kidnap me in his car and start driving until I gave him what he was looking for. he would usually only damage my belongings and not me, but I promise you that is still an abusive relationship. every time he said he was sorry and he would make it up to me and it would never happen again. he deserved to get the cops called on him. you have to think about what your family would say? (that is if you're close to them) I can beg you all day to end it with this boy, but only you can make that decision. I promise you that this is the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship and suggest you think higher of yourself becuase you don't deserve that, and I don't even know you!

  • he can be truly sorry, and you can still love him...that doesn't make it smart or safe to stay with him.

    it's the same reaction as cheating. if he cheated, he can be sorry, and you can still want him, but it doesn't change the fact that he cheated.

    in this case, nothing changes the fact that he hit you. HE HIT YOU.

    No matter who he is, you're not safe in that relationship.

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