My Boyfriend Pushed me?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years

We have the occasional argument, but things usually get figured out.

However, yesterday i was on top of him, laying on the couch. We were laughing and then all of a sudden we started to get into argument. He ended up pushing me off of him. It was kinda hard and i was pretty shocked. And i fell kind of funny. I hit my knee. He apologized, but was still angry and he just didn't seem to think he did anything wrong.

Today my knee is really red, swollen and it hurts a lot. I might have to go to the hospital. And my boyfriend came over and felt horrible after seeing my knee. he's like i never meant to hurt you. I just wanted you off of me. He kept saying how he was the worst boyfriend ever and that he abused me and how he was incredibly sorry. He kept talking about how i should feel safe with him and mentioned that he loves me a lot.

I dont know how to feel right now. I always told myself if a boyfriend ever hit me i would leave him. Bu im so confused because I love him so much and i feel like he didn't mean to hurt me.

Advice? he's never done something like this before

Justinaveragedude · Accepted Answer

Wow... *facepalm* the "but I love him so much"... guess what, this is one of those things, he may feel bad, and you may love him, so what? So fucking what? Understand, this is one of those situations where you need to decide, do I want to let him hurt me like this again? If he is not doing something to ensure he never loses control again, you really are not safe with him. He pushed up off and didn't think he did anything wrong. Had he not seen that his actions effected you, he would not have cared in the least. He fucked up. Now, he pushed you off, that is not actually striking you, but if he is willin to push you, and is not seeing a symptom of something more serious, next time he may well just slap you. If he really wantsorry you to feel safe, he needs to get into anger management. Plain and simple.

Graydon · Accepted Answer

I think you should stick with him if you really love him. I'm sure that he was honest when he said he'll never hurt you again. I know I'd feel horrible if I ever did that. All I want is a girlfriend so if I ever did that to a girl I love, I'd cry for days and probably self harm as well. It takes a lot to get my angry though but you should stay with him. If he dose it again than consider leaving him.

sophiarw5 · Accepted Answer

a boyfriend of mine one slapped me across the face, no reason, other than to "get off of him" (I was on his lap" it turned red and when I started crying, he didn't realize he did anything wrong and ignored me.
what happened to you is the beginning of an abusive relationship.
staying with him, even though you love him, will cause more bad than good. the cycle has already started. he does something to hurt you, then he apologizes-- even will make you feel guilty-- then the tension builds up and there will be another incident.
I urge you to leave because I was in this situation before and it didn't end good.

cleanpeach · Accepted Answer

Make it clear that he never touches you like that again and if he does break up with him. From personal experience, it starts out with "accidents" and only spirals from there. I'm not at all saying he tried to hurt you, it does sound like an accident. The fact is, you didn't like how you were touched by him and that can be damaging to your mental health, especially if you aren't sure if you're being abused. Control that shit. If he really does have aggressive behavior and takes it out on you, run.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Okay, if he struck you I'd say leave immediately, but this is a situation where it does seem like it was an accident. Not a justification by the way, he never should have used force to move you, but I'm saying I'd understand if you chose to work through it

If you wanna work through it seek counseling, make stipulations that he has to meet before your trust will be earned back, and take if from there. If you see even a smidge of further violent behaviour, leave.

Mekara · Answer

Kinda melodramatic... He didn't even hit you! He pushed you... off of him! If you guys were in an argument, why were you still on him? You should have gotten off of him, so you can't really blame him for pushing you off. It's more of a :"eave me alone" kind of gesture than physical abuse. You guys blew this up more than necessary. Just accept his apology and give him one also (you were in the wrong too) and move on. Not that serious.

Cmasterson · Answer

I don't think this is assault as you were ON him and he wanted him off you.. however I would be hurt too. He didn't hit you keep in mind there is a total difference. But if you're scared definitely don't stay with him.. you can't trust him if you're scared.

maddd4ever · Answer

I think u should give him another chance he's obviously sorry and it was not on purpose so don't take it too hard and understand him for. now you need to show that you love him and you care about him and you're not gonna leave him easily. it he ever abuses you again then think of leaving

fauchelevent · Answer

To me, it doesn't sound like he was being abusive or assaulting you or whatever. It just sounds like things got heated and he pushed you but I don't think he did mean to hurt you, it sounds like it was accidental.

Anonymous · Answer

So you were on top of him arguing which meant you were in his face and I'm sure you didn't want to get off that is why he pushed you off of him right? Well you would know the intentions he had and the situation you were in to make a decision if to leave him or not, and judging by the details of the question... you know the answer.

blasiangirl12 · Answer

He deffo has anger problems because just because you were on him and were joking around, he was angry? Unless it's a playful and light push I don't recommend putting hands on the partner

CloudNumber9 · Answer

He should have nicely asked you to get off of his lap. Maybe bc he was angry and caught in the moment he didn't think and that's why.
However, if it happens again, that's it, end it then! Bc if it happens a total of 2x, he has an anger problem, it won't get better! If it's like this now, and one day you marry him, it will be a lot worse!
Never stay in a relationship with a guy who physically and or emotionally abuses you!!! You are worth so much more than that!!!

KenM9215 · Answer

I don't condone his pushing of you nor would I if it were reversed, I am curious though, what were you arguing about that got you both so heated up if its alright to ask?

YourFutureEx · Answer

He has anger issues. It's not like he did that on purpose, but such people never change. They take quick decisions without thinking. You will have to decide whether you can live with it or not.

SarahsSummer · Answer

He didn't hit you. Accept his apology and next time you get in an argument, get off of him on your own, immediately.

None11am · Answer

I don't think he meant to hurt you and he seems sorry, so I would forgive him this time and move on from it, but if he does it again I would consider leaving him.

MasterAdvice · Answer

I wouldn't do that but sometimes I get angered by things and tend to hurt people (including girls I like), but when I come back, I'm sweeter.

Blitzkrieger · Answer

You were sitting on top of him asserting physical dominance over him and then got in an argument then its normal what happened.

nbbn5 · Answer

Don't leave maybe it was by mistake that he pushed harder

bekkesmash · Answer

He didn't hit you, and he didn't mean to hurt you so...

KaydenChrist · Answer

he didn't mean to. I would give him a chance to redeem himself

Anonymous · Answer

men are men. dont push them. dont get into an argument next time.

Anonymous · Answer

Im pretty sure he didn't mean to hurt you.. He seems like he really is sorry..

Reddwolf · Answer

be careful it could get worse

boochie0 · Answer

Runnnn

Anonymous · Answer

kick his ass

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