Why is their a double standard in the friend zone?

[Anonymous]

It seems like when a girl puts a guy in the "friend zone" it's because he is too nice, and she just wants to go out with jerks, and she does not see what is in front of her,etc.

But when a girl is put in the friend zone it's because she is not attractive or not attractive enough.

Surely these are not always the case. Maybe the guy is not attractive, maybe the guy just wants to go out with girls who are jerks.

So why does it always seem like when someone is but into the friend zone the blame is on the girl?

[Vyxzuw]

The concept of 'friend zone' means that they are not considered a sexual candidate.

For guys, this comes down to whether they are attractive or not. And many guys would be willing to be 'friends with benefits' with a 'plain' girl. Whether the guy would go into a relationship or not is another matter.

Girls can put an attractive guy into the friend zone. (Who is 'nice' which translates into 'no personality'.) The personality matters, not just how they look.

So, the 'double standard' (which is a misnomer since there ARE differences between men and women) is that guys don't get why they can be considered nice (and even be told they would be a good match for another girl) but not considered worthy of sex. While a guy would be willing to have sex with someone they might not want a relationship with.

However, I do grant that many times the guy is just complaining because he doesn't want to work on his personality and become 'exciting'. The problem exacerbates itself when a girl friend zones a guy (calls him nice and a perfect guy, but not for her) and then dates a jerk (who she then tells the friend how this jerk is horrible and she wishes she could find someone nice, but not him, because she only considers him a friend.)

Many of these same guys would be willing to date a 'plain' nice girl who they considered a friend. (Many are usually to dumb to even realize that that girl might like them.) Heck, most don't even HAVE a girl that is a friend, besides that girl that only dates jerks. (Who of course is gorgeous, because you never have one of these guys complain about being 'friend zoned' by a plain girl.)

[Theguyoverthere]

There are overall nice guys... but there are also... "nice guys" who are creepy as hell. A typical guy can get turned down as a date and brush it off... the "nice guys" though get bitter as hell and say all that stuff you mentioned as an excuse.

Guys typically know within like... 5 seconds on whether a girl is "friend zoned" or not. This is normal.. but there are also cases where a guy will no longer see a girl as relationship material later on thus resulting in the "friend zone." Typical deal breaker things like a guy not dating a girl who drinks or does drugs is one example.

[Troian]

I don't know why but I find it stupid. I talked to guy online who called himself a "nice guy" constantly friend zoned. I talked to him about my boyfriend who I obviously find attractive. He put him right away as the "jerk".

I think, he's just bitter. My boyfriend is not shy about girls, he has experiences, he had one night stand but he's also really sweet, nice and funny. I think many guys say though because they don't like rejections. Girls don't have to accept every guys who ask, we don't owe them a thing. Of course, many women are attractive to men who know what they want, it doesn't mean they're jerks.

[Cromartie]

Male bitterness. There is simply nothing else to say and it's transferred throughout the ages. If a girl turned you down in the past she was frigid and hated men but a modern version is simply she enjoys things that are bad for her and is a fool.