Boyfriend called another girl baby?

[Anonymous]

Last night me and my boyfriend were out with a bunch of friends. All of his closest friends refer to me as his girlfriend and they know we're together, and he has no problem acting like it when we're out with everyone. We were sitting together and one of his girl friends handed him something and he responded to her by saying "thanks baby" and I was slightly caught off guard. He's got a flirty personality but I'm not worried about him cheating on me at all, but I thought that was strange. He's made similar comments before to other friends of his that are girls, and it's always in that context. I've heard that if a guy was really trying to be shady or flirt with another girl, he wouldn't do it in front of me. He's told me he loves me and he really does act like it, I just think it's a strange thing to do in front of your girlfriend. Am I being naive or am I justified for finding that strange? Thoughts?

[PeterCobra]

To answer your question, yes I believe you are being naive. The lady that gave me my shake at the drive through yesterday said "thanks baby". Besides if he was trying to do something with that girl he would have done it when you weren't around. He does it in front of you because he doesn't have anything to hide. By the way the old lady in the fast food window didn't try to climb through the window and make love to me in the drivers seat of my car either. I have dated girls that made big issues out of things like this before. They all ended up having low self-esteem, overly jealous, and also ended up being my EX girlfriends. Now if he has a history of cheating or does something that REALLY is worth getting concerned about then that's different. Otherwise I would recommend chilling out if you really like him. And if he has a flirt personality you need to talk to him about why. What is he trying to achieve when he is very flirty with girls? What is his end result? What does he hope that will come of it? If he struggles to answer these questions...then the real answer is probably something he isn't exactly proud of. If you have a girlfriend and you are constantly flirting with other girls, there is a reason. It is rarely as innocent as people try to make it out to be. It tells me that they like to tempt themselves and see what else is available to them...you know...see who will flirt back. But you have 2 separate issues going on here.

[Asker]

Thanks for your insight. Maybe "flirty" was the wrong word to use, I meant it more in the sense that he's extremely friendly and has a lot of girl friends. It's never anything that makes me jealous, except the occasional calling of other girls "baby". He's still very good at making it clear we're together, and he only does it to girls who know the status of our relationship and respect it. Which, if that is the only issue, I suppose isn't a big deal.

[PeterCobra]

your welcome...and here is a good rule about flirting you can take with you in the future: it is a problem when you look at your significant other in their interaction with others and feel like the attention, affection, compliments that comes from you isn't enough; therefore he/she is having to supplement it with others. basically IF yours isn't enough for them and they need it from other people. THAT'S when its a problem. If you don't see that...then don't worry about.

[andreasderjuengere]

A ''baby'' is an offspring - not a partner in life. I see no conflict.

[Anonymous]

I think the go to line that guys use when you have an issue with something is saying that you are insecure. If you are constantly freaking out every time he interacts with a female, then it might be time to work on your self esteem. That being said, you have every right to address things that make you uncomfortable. I seriously doubt there is any harm in your boyfriend calling someone else a pet name, but if it makes you uncomfortable... say something. Say it from a position of strength and confidence. I see nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend to reserve pet names for you if you can do it in a way that doesn’t put him on the defensive. Say it in a playful, sweet way. Delivery is the difference between a clingy insecure girl and one that knows her worth. If it’s just his personality, then you might want to look for someone that does not have that trait.