Dear Skinny Jeans, Why Won't You Just Die Already?

Dear Skinny Jeans, Why Won't You Just Die Already?

Dear Skinny Jeans,

Why won't you just die already? Why are you a thing that continues to exist in my world? Who invited you to the fashion party and told you, you could last more than one season? Ugh! Look, I don't hate skinny people. There's nothing to hate. They were born skinny and will die skinny, just as I was born curvy, and will die curvy. I know this because even at my ultimate skinniest of skinny moments where I went HAM and lost 50 lbs in a summer (would not recommend to mere mortals), I still had a butt, and I still had some thighs, hmm-k, but I like that about me. I'd rather be me, then skinny, because just like being skinny is great for the skinny girls, being curvy is great for me...that is until I encounter the jeans section, nay, the entire pants department at any store within a 50 mile radius. Those "skinny" pants are everywhere. They are distressed, they are multi-color, they have cheetah print, they are acid washed, they are made from leather to pleather and not a single one of them looks good on me. Ever put something on, and said to yourself: no, just, no? Well I've done that like 20 times now, which I believe is the definition of insanity because I certainly hoped each time they would magically look like the did on the models in the magazines.

Wearing any type of pant that goes from my delicious boo-tay, over my thighs, to then choke the life from my ankles, is a silhouette that disturbs me. I mean whatever happened to boot cut, beautiful bootcut? Oh those were the days where my closet was lined from front to back with jeans galore. Boot cut flatters every woman because it provides an even balance between top and bottom half of the leg and it doesn't provide any type of exclusion in the name. I mean, does not being able to really wear a skinny jean mean you're not skinny, and therefore not worthy of said pant? It's the most judgey type of clothes I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. Realistically these aren't really jeans at all, they are glorified tights. They're like 3 notches up in thickness from being a pair of tights or leggings which the closest I'll get to that is capris at the gym and the gym only.

I know there are people who believe you should just wear what you want and be happy, but that's just it, squeezing myself into those jeans doesn't make me happy. It makes me look at the mirror and think, "# regrets." I want to wear things that make me happy and make we want to flaunt what my momma gave me, not force fit myself into a trend just because somebody out there in the fashion world decided for the entire female population that this was it and let's HIDE all the boot cuts from every shelf in town (you monsters!). I mean, that's really it, isn't it? You can't let "someone out there," that doesn't know you or your body type tell you that you can or can't wear something or that you should or shouldn't wear something. At least for me, part of growing up (aka, slowly dying) has been to realize that I know what works for me and what doesn't...she says having, what did I say earlier, tried on 20 pairs of these things...but, but, but, I never bought a pair, so even though I may have been in some sort of denial, it didn't actually cause me to do anything I'd regret later in all those digital photos that never ever seem to go away (I'm hissing directly at you through clenched teeth 'that wedding' of 2014).

So in conclusion...this


10|0
4716

Most Helpful Guy

  • hopefully you wrote this for the guys because the conclusion most men will probably have is that you're too fat and are making excuses about it

    5|4
    0|0
    • Actually what I've learned from writing this take is that people assume a lot of things. I'm actually not fat. I guess when people hear curvy, they automatically think fat... and the sad thing is how disgusting some of the responses have been in that vein. Apparently everyone in the world loves every single fashion item ever created and all those clothes fit and work for every single person on the planet which is 100% not true, but complain about one thing that doesnt' work for you... and you are "fat," "lazy" a "hater," "jealous," "making excuses," and the list goes on. Seriously, if this is just a pair of pants, can't imagine what all you guys would say to other people discussing other more serious issues here...

Most Helpful Girl

  • HAHAHAHAHA Love this mytake!
    Yes, you are definitely right. =)

    I can't handle the ankle restraint with skinny jeans - WHAT IS THE POINT?

    1|0
    0|0

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 15

  • The conclusion I draw from this is that you probably have above-average sized calves to say the least, otherwise you wouldn't be complaining about skinny jeans over boot-cut jeans. You obviously have an ass, and obviously have thick thighs, those two things adding up should mean that you would love skinny jeans. But the fact that you describe skinny jeans as choking the life out of your ankles? that's obviously your problem right there. So instead of trying to lose 50 lbs a summer and looking for boot-cut jeans to cover the calves, why not just focus on slimming your calves down?

    6|0
    0|0
    • I'm skinny (5'8 and 115 lbs) and I'd love it if bootcut jeans were considered fashionable again. They just give you this cute, relaxed girl-next-door look. AND they're flattering! I hate the way skinny jeans look on me so I never wear them.

    • Show All
    • There's lots of crap on google because people want targeted weight loss to be a thing. But that's just not how weight loss works. Weight loss works by causing your body to burn more fat than it takes in in calories. Your body will target whatever areas it targets first, without respect to what area you work out.

      Trust me, if targeted weight loss worked, I'd make my face a lot thinner.

    • @SunsetStar It's my fault I got caught in totallycrushed's wrong term. What I originally said was slimming of the calves not target weight loss. Target weight loss is misleading with because what I mentioned it can be accomplished without weight loss. You can slim your calves by toning them, i. e. more muscle less fat on the calves will make it look slimmer than high fat low muscle percentage.

      You're absolutely correct in that you can't achieve this as well for the face, that's because the muscle groups on the face is very small unlike that of the calves.

  • First World problems.

    5|4
    0|0
    • Ha, best comment!

  • Did you hear about the woman that wore skinny jeans so tight they cut her blood flow off to her legs and she had to spend I think a few days in hospital?

    2|0
    0|0
    • She collapsed I think as a result of her skinny jeans cutting her blood flow off to her legs.

    • There's probably a higher chance of someone needing to be hospitalized due to a falling coconut than a pair of skinny jeans

    • @Baconburger to be honest I am not sure about that. I personally love skinny jeans on women.

  • My first thought at you choosing that particular cover image:

    encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hot girls look hot in skinny jeans, so please, for the love of god, skinny jeans, stay forever.

    P. S.: Curvy doesn't mean fat.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well everyone has their preferences, I personally love skinny Jeans. I wish dresses and skirts would die already though.

    2|1
    0|0
  • Yeah skinny jeans for guys is kind of stupid. But skinny jeans on women are super hot.
    by the way they are not new. Women have been wearing skinny jeans since the 80's. The trend isn't gonna die because guys love seeing the tight outline of a woman's legs.
    Just like the "fad" of cleavage will never die.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I like girls in skinny jeans, so I would like them to stay forever ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Skinny jeans look good on a slim woman.
    They are grotesque on a fat female.
    The only men who wear any form of skinny pants are effete inner-urban social justice warriors and homosexuals.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have one pair of black skinny jeans. I find girls that wear skinny jeans very hot!!! Leather pants on girls are even hotter!!!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because nice butts look awesome in skinny jeans. True that skinny jeans don't fit men.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because they're better than baggy jeans. If there's one thing I hate about the 2000s, it was how those were "in" for guys, and girls back then were able to wear slim fit jeans

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's just a fashion trend. Wear what suits your body type regardless of the trend. Or you could really work your butt off to get in the sort of shape that would would suit skinny jeans... Whatever you do, don't lose your chill

    0|0
    0|0
  • for woman, it still looks amazing! for guys, theirs a limit, i like a good fit but anything like what Conan is wearing is horrible and probably painful.

    0|0
    0|0
  • cos they look nice

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 46

  • Amen sister!! My mom and I were at the mall once and she got her arm stuck in the leg of a pair of skinny jeans! LMAO yes her ARM!! I stood still in shock and thought we were going to have to cut her arm out but when we looked at the price tag $216 we were like Lucy and Ethel!! She finally got her arm out and I laughed so hard I was horse laughing! A woman saw the whole thing and she looked at us like "OMG whatever freaks!!" We still laugh!

    3|1
    0|0
    • Ha Ha! Skinny jeans are ridiculous... but kinda sexy on certain girls. Not for males at all, in my opinion. If you're already skinny why make it more accentuated with them?

    • @Johnagain Yea my sister in law is petit and maybe 5 ft tall so she's really cute but not me I look awkward and unappealing. Yes sad but oh well! :) I prefer a bell bottom jean any way.

  • Skinny jeans are cute, why would you hate a piece of clothing when you're the one who chooses to try things on you know aren't going to fit you? Skinny jeans doesn't mean for skinny people. Skinny is just a different cut, that the pant leg is fitted instead of flared open or loose. There are literally skinny jeans for plus sized people. Stop shopping at stores that have a different demographic than you and look for plus sized clothing. That's the only reason you feel bad, is that you insist on wearing things that don't fit.

    3|0
    0|0
    • LOL, I wasn't aware you knew me so well (sarcasm). I do not wear plus size clothing. Curves does not automatically mean plus sized. The reason I tried on so many pairs is because everyone seems to keep saying that skinny jeans are for everyone, so I tried several varieties, and still, the look did not look good on me. I am a grown woman, and do not shop in tween stores, and still I find even the ones cut for women to look stupid on me. I don't know why it's difficult to understand that not every clothing item looks good on every woman. There just needs to be acceptance had by all, rather than denial, that every piece of clothing isn't meant for every woman. You cannot take generic cuts that don't take into account your shape or height or what have you on a rack and expect them to automatically flatter everyone. I'm not going to force myself into some clothing style b/c you think it works for everyone. You have to know your mind and body and know what works for you, and this doesn't.

    • I don't think it works for everyone, but what are you complaining about if you feels this way?

      "Boot cut flatters every woman because it provides an even balance between top and bottom half of the leg and it doesn't provide any type of exclusion in the name. I mean, does not being able to really wear a skinny jean mean you're not skinny, and therefore not worthy of said pant?"

      Seems very contradictory to what you just said. Get custom clothing, or simply get bootcut. Bootcut isn't as in style as skinny jeans but it still exists. I'm really not understanding the point of this take.

      "There just needs to be acceptance had by all, rather than denial, that every piece of clothing isn't meant for every woman"

      Yet here we are discussing a take about a piece of clothing not meant for every woman.

  • No worries. Flares seem to be making a comeback, and wide legs pants are already in.

    3|0
    0|0
    • Good to hear that there is good news on the horizon!

  • ok I'm sorry, I got lost at the part where u implied that skinny jeans are only for skinny people... you do know they come in multiple sizes right?

    girl I've got curves like u and i dont care if people think my booty is gonna make them jeans explode, i like skinny jeans and i think that i can rock them =]

    2|0
    0|0
  • Skinny jeans do look good but boot cut are even better. A nice slim bootcut jeans is probably one of the best pairs of jeans.

    3|0
    0|0
  • I hate skinny jeans. Im skinny but when I tried on a pair I just didn't like them. My ankles felt trapped. I love bootcut and flare. It sucks trying to buy great bootcut or flare jeans in stores because skinny jeans have taken over. Whenever I see an awesome pair of pants I pull them off the rack and of course they are skinny jeans 😡
    I wish those, legging/jegging whatever they are would all go away. Its a bizarre silhouette on everyone!

    3|1
    0|0
    • I consider them to be the evolution of the mom jean. The only difference is they don't ride as high and are tight as opposed to loose in the waist, but it's the same concept all ending in that tight choking of the ankles. I don't see how people, especially where I live, find them comfortable. It is so hot and humid here that they stick to your legs... ugh... but I get it, if they fit and work for other people, sure they are going to love them, but I'm not one of those, so it's like telling me "oh, but I love these jeans and they are awesome" is like me telling someone who is allergic to peanuts, how about this awesome peanut nut bar for a snack. LOL

  • I'm average build from the UK, I love skinny jeans and jeggings. My legs aren't exactly like sticks. I have big thick thunder thighs, quite a big arse too. I still manage to pull of the look. You could always by some when you go on holidays. I wouldn't wear light colours like white, yellow or baby pink. As lighter colours can make you look bigger. I don't refer to my build as curvy. I'm just average. A lot of people have never understood the concept of curvy is. Most of them think that there is only one type of curvy and that's if your slim with big boobs and a big arse. Most of the celebs are often mistaken for being curvy. When you see some of them. They lack curves. Curvy is a shape, even if you are a bit overweight as long as you have an hourglass shape you are still curvy. Most men like the mini hourglass which is slim and curvy. Some like average build with curves. Others like a little more to love.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Skinny jeans on cute girls = YES :)
    Skinny jeans on ANY guy = NOT!!!

    5|2
    0|0
  • Leggings are more comfortable and revealing

    1|1
    0|0
    • Mmmh... "Revealing." Just remember who else is looking... and why you wear them.

    • @Johnagain and camel for. I try to make sure they are loose. But better yet wear a really long tunic

  • BRING BACK BELL BOTTOMS.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I like skinny jeans, don't hate because you can't fit into one.

    5|1
    0|0
    • This is seriously the most non nonsensical comment. Let me ask you something? Do you love clothes that don't make you feel or look good? When is the last time you tried something on, and didn't like it or it didn't fit right and you proclaimed to the world that you loved them? I'm glad you and others love skinny jeans, but I don't like them because not all clothes no matter what your size or height, look good on everybody. I am also really tall too and a lot of clothes that work for my petite friends absolutely do not work for me. Such is life. Am I "allowed" to complain. Absolutely.

    • Show All
  • Oh someone after my own heart! I ❤️ Bootcut pants/jeans and will wear them till I die. I despise skinny jeans. They look so-so on fee women but horrible on all men. Why can't people see that? I wish they would go away as whenever I shop for pants... there they are and I have a hard time just finding regular damn pants. That's all I ask...:)

    1|1
    0|0
    • *Hugs* Clearly I can relate. It happens every season the fashion industry changes it mind... something is not going to really work for a whole sector of the female population, but it sucks when its something non trendy, but what I consider essential if you have any type of curvy shape, to the wardrobe as a pair of jeans. It just makes me want to camp out somewhere until they come back.

    • Show All
    • I do think there are a lot of women and girls that blindly convince themselves that certain clothing looks great on them b/c they are on trend, and that's what's on the shelves and everyone is wearing them. It's not to say a lot of them don't legit look good in them or they fit them perfectly or make some of them look good, but largely a lot don't know what actually does flatter them so they go along with trends. Sigh... one day the boot cut will make a resurgence and I will stock up, hoard, put some away in my panic room, lol.

    • Exactly! I couldn't agree with you any more!! Thank god I have a stockpile of bootcut Levis that I wear a pair of every day but to stockpile them and put into a nuclear shelter or panic room is a good idea! 😜

  • Skinny jeans are for 10 year-olds, not for real women. I hate them and I think they look horrible on whoever wears them.

    2|1
    0|0
  • Just order your stuff online or look up stores that do sell the type of jeans you like. Personally absolutely hate boot it but you do you. Skinny jeans is my life. Lol. That trend should never ever die. :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Skinny jeans are the best.
    Other jeans are gross.

    4|0
    0|0
  • I liked wearing skinny jeans but I had to wearing them cause they were to tight for me cause they didn't stretch Conan o Brian looks funny in skinny jeans

    1|0
    0|0
  • The second set of photos in this take are straight leg 😅 Not skinny. But I get your point. I'm probably too fat for skinny jeans but so what? I wear high waisted ones and don't care. Wear what you wanna wear or wear what suits you but don't get so upset over something you can't wear. There's loads of things I can't wear either and I don't let it stop me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Boot cut jeans definitely do not flatter everyone they look awful on me, makes me look short and stubby. I'm glad the skinny jeans haven't died as they are my saviours ever since I started wearing them when I was 10. They make me appear taller and show off the booty!

    Now I don't know where you're shopping but here there is definitely still a large range of boot cuts. Maybe you're not looking in the right places? If you go to stores catered to younger people (teens to late 20s) you're probably going to find a large range of skinnies but if you go to stores suited to older women or a store specifically catered to jeans (Levis) you'll find what you're looking for.
    Everyones body shape is different, not everyone suits skinny jeans but it just turns out that a majority does so they sell them because profit.
    P's. I'm not saying your style is old.
    Pps. Being able to wear skinny jeans does not mean you are skinny.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Skinny jeans are better then stove pipe jeans lo l

    5|0
    0|0
  • I only wear skinny jeans.. they're 😍😍❤❤.. and they look great on my long legs.. 😏😏😏

    2|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    26
Loading...