Do fat or chubby girls feel like they have to try harder?

Examples please :)

Do fat or chubby girls feel like they need to try harder to get noticed by guys or to reach a certain value? Personally, I don't think value is determined by weight. Yet, I've noticed my significantly bigger friends always seem to be going all out and doing extra stuff. I'm just wondering if they feel like they have to compensate because lets just be real... most guys wouldn't pick a fat or chubby girl with a muffin top and huge thighs over an in shape, toned girl with a nice body. I've met some bigger girls who go all out when it comes to fashion, hair, make-up, and often try to sneak in comments about girls who are smaller than them to feel better about how big they are. I also know a chunky girl who is just 18, but tries really hard to be wifey material. After talking to her, I think it's because she feels a need to try and out win any other female, mainly skinny, prettier girls than her. I get that vibe because of so Like she tries to make herself seem like this girl who’s so mature and independent and together, but she comes to me for free therapy sessions all the time and I see the real her. Anyway, bigger girls, can you relate to this? I’m just curious what the thought process is like for you guys?me things she's said. It's all just an act though lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • I notice this too with some of my bigger friends. They have to look really hard to find good clothes etc that fit and flatter them so they can look appealing. I have not noticed them go crazy with makeup but I do notice that overweight strangers I have seen do. I guess it is their way of bringing the attention to their most attractive features. But what I don't understand is why they take all that time trying to put a band aid on the problem rather than working on losing the weight. I understand that some people have medical conditions that make this too hard, excluding them from my generalization. Even though I'm thin I work out a lot and have lost a little to be at my goal weight and measurements. The last 5 lbs were really hard but I was willing to try going vegetarian to lose the weight and have more energy. It worked, people just have to have the right mindset and be willing to give foods up to lose weight. I also gave up most processed foods and sodas, it is only the very occasional treat for me


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What Guys Said 1

  • the lucky one..
    Who has a nice fat girl...


What Girls Said 4

  • I'm a chubby girl and I do agree with you to some extent. Being bigger does kind of put you in that underdog position because guys most of the time prefer the girl with the amazing body. You look in magazines and advertisements and everyone is skinny. It's intimidating and losing weight is very HARD and it really does cause you to feel less attractive... so some bigger girls try to find another ways to stand out or feel less like an under dog. My way was fashion. I always like to dress nice. I'm not a make up person but I love clothing. At the same time, I think every girl has something that they do to try in order to stand out. There are skinny girls that go all out and try to feed their ego somehow. I think when girls feel they have a flaw, (this goes for skinny people, medium sized people, and larger people) they try and make up for it somehow. It's a psychological defense mechanism called compensation.

  • Dear anon,

    Im fat, I don't even try, there are guys who like bigger girls but I'm not interested cause I want someone who wants me thin cause I am losing weight.

    A girl who tries too hard isn't a girl that's dateable (same with a guy who tries too hard). When a guy dates a fat girl, I promise you he likes her, who would date someone they think is too bad looking?

    You're basically saying anyone who looks less than average tries harder? sorry, but that's not true.


    IMAQT xx

  • I can kind of relate to this. I'm a bigger girl myself, but I only really try harder than most when I really really like someone. For me, It partially has to do with the society portrays the kind of women that men want, and while I know there are people out there that love every type, it's harder because in the moment, it feels like no one likes or will like me romantically. This is also from the perspective of a high school girl, which is going to be different than that of someone older, because the guys that I've come across are more afraid of what their peers would think.

  • I'm chubby and in a way I do. I know that as long as I'm fat, I can't just rely on my body to attract guys. (Body is 60% of physical attraction for men) so I have to compensate by having pretty hair, nice style and cute makeup and a good personality to make up for it. And even then that doesn't always work if the guy just isn't into big girls. I still do fairly decent when it comes to attracting men so it's not that bad, but if I were to gain another 20 lbs. that would be a different story. I don't hate on girls smaller than me but some big girls do it because deep down they know that a thin girl with her hair pulled back in a pony and a t-shirt and jeans will still attract more guys than a big girl dressed and done up to the 9s. It's just out of insecurity. That being said, there are a lot of skinny girls who feel like they don't measure up compared to other girls as well and they overcompensate too. I guess I'm lucky because I live in the south where many guys like thick/fat girls, and I'm mixed and I primarily date black guys so it's not too bad. I think fat white girls are the ones who get it a lot worse since white guys seem to overwhelmingly prefer skinny/thin girls.


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