Boyfriend told me I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world?

[LilPinkGirl]

I love my boyfriend so much . We have been together four years and have a little girl together. My boyfriend does not think he is attractive because he is now overweight. Today I told him he is the most handsome man in the world to me and he said "yeaaa ooook" he then told me that there is no way he is the most handsome MSN in the world just like I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I said "you really don't think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world?" He said "there are millions of better looking women AND men than you...and me!" Ouch...it didn't seem to phase him how bad it hurt me. By all means I don't think I am the most beautiful woman in the world...let alone attractive at all. I hate how I look. After I made it known what he said hurt me he quickly changed the subject.i always hear men say how their wives or girlfriends are the most beautiful women in the world. No matter how ugly they can be or fat or skinny...to their man they are beter lookinng than anyone in the world. Sigh...i feel stupid for feeling so hurt. What should I say to him next or what should I do? :(

Updates

+1 y

Man not MSN dumb phone lol

[kimandjessy]

I definitely hear you on that one, and I had to register specifically to write you cause your message touched a sensitive spot in me. You've no reason to feel stupid, even though, in a way, it is a little stupid. But then again, aren't lovers?

I constantly tell my boyfriend he's the most beautiful man in the entire world, even though it's obviously not the "truth". Still, I don't lie when I say it. Why? Cause he IS in fact the most beautiful man in the world, to me - and I think it's somewhat obvious that this is what I mean by telling him this, otherwise it would've been COMPLETELY stupid.

He also tells me I'm the most beautiful woman/girl in the world, but only after I tell him so about himself. My view on this is complicated. On the one hand, I know he loves me more than anything and truly thinks I'm beautiful. Heck, when I had a severe case of mono and couldn't even take a shower for days he constantly told me "God, you look hot".

On the other hand... it's constantly in the back of my mind that I know he's a big fond of Innocent-looking, blond girls, which I'm not. I love the way I look, I really do - I know I look great. but sometimes I give myself a hard time about it. Stuff like, "It would be TRULY perfect if only I were a this innocent-looking blond girl. Then he'd -really- think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world".

But it's not true. Cause even if I were this girl, there'd always, always be someone more beautiful.

I'm sorry for the length, but it also helped me clear things up for myself a little.

I think what matters is knowing your boyfriend truly, deeply loves you and thinks you're beautiful even when you've snot running down your nose. You might not look like Natalie Portman, but you're his love.

[Deebers91]

Well, considering beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the more in love you are with someone, the more attractive they become, I think it's perfectly natural to want your lover to find you the most beautiful. I mean, anyone can be aesthetically appealing to a certain degree, but we all have preferences. I personally don't have celebrity crushes because my interests require connection. If I don't know the person, I could care less how toned their abs are! That's not to say I don't care about looks, so just care less for purely aesthetic lust with nothing desped. For me, in that case, my significant other and people very dear to me fo become the most beautiful individuals. That deep connection is beautiful, along with whatever unique physical characteristics they possess. I see this as one of my core values. I give utmost praise to those I love, and seek it in return. If my partner doesn't feel the same, and doesn't see me as the most beautiful, then I feel we have a clashing core value. P. s. I recently had this same problem with my boyfriend, and if it isn't resolved, I am leaving him because it's THAT important to me. :) Don't let anyone tell you it's trivial. Your values are make you who you are, and they are very important.

[Deebers91]

Is there an edit so I can correct my typos? Grr. Typing on my phone.

[redheadvixen]

YESSS AMEN U SAID ALL OF THE RIGHT THINGS

[Anonymous]

You're upset because he was truthful with you. He doesn't want to pretend that HE is handsome when he feels average. He doesn't want you to pretend and pander to him. He is not the type to say "This is the most beautiful day in the world" when it's clearly raining.

You should not let your ego get in the way of this. He is just being honest. He's NOT calling you unattractive, he's just saying that you're not a supermodel. Unless you're shooting for supermodel status, you should probably not be offended. Would you rather he lied to you?

Who cares what other people say? My ex used to lie and tell me I was the MOST beautiful woman on the planet -- but cheated on me with a short, overweight beer-guzzling girl with acne, glasses and tattoos while I fussed over him and stroked his ego for years.

Love itself is blind...so why fuss over false compliments?

If you have negative self-image, go to therapy so that little comments like this don't keep getting to you.

[Tentacle_Therapist]

Seriously, this.

[LilPinkGirl]

It just hurts I guess. It just feels nice to be complimented once in a while

[Opinion Owner]

Complimented, yes. Lied to...no. "Most beautiful in the world" is too over-the-top for him. Will he say stuff like you're pretty? Looking good on a particular day? Something you're wearing makes him trail after you with his eyes? Go for that stuff. That's honest admiration and desire.

If you haven't read it yet, take a look at Jane Asuten's *Pride and Prejudice*. The guy proposes to her by insulting everything about her, and yet he's mad, mad, mad for her.

[RolandX]

(FACEPALM) :P

OMG You never, and I mean NEVER say that to any woman. I mean your obviously beautiful, we an all see your pic. See is why smoking crack is illegal, because when you smoke it you say dumb sh*t like this to the woman who is supporting your "overweight" self..

Well Maybe switch out all the beer in the fridge for yogurt (low fat kind) and start waking him up at 4am every morning to go running, and be super excited about it.

"Honey your right, and I love you soooooooo much I think we CAN be the most attractive man or woman in the world, I just know we can! So get dressed handsome! Those five miles are not going to run themselves! And when we get home some nice unsweetened hot tea and low fat yogurt! *Looong happy sigh* It's going to be an awesome day!"

I think THAT would get the point across big time lol.. And be funny as hell too =)

/2cents

[wivvygrace]

HAHAHAH that's worse than something Cosmo would suggest XD

For being a dude, you really have no pity for this guy :P

[Anonymous]

He says it how it is... I respect him! Surely you can too? You may be upset but too lovey dovey isn't good at times, especially when it isn't true

You're not the most beautiful woman on earth... but you ain't bad looking either, relax :)

[SomeBODYS]

This is lame. What she means is that to HIM she is the most beautiful woman in the world and to her he is the most handsome man in the world. I do really believe when some men and women say that they mean it- you can see. He is obviously self conscious and comparing himself and his girlfriend to men and women who spend hours a day in the gym and are trying to morph their bodies and using photoshop and editing. If you show images of what we think is beautiful to tribes in the Amazon their reaction will be different because they haven't been programmed to like unnatural bodies. It is not natural for men to have HUGE muscles like they do now.

[TyroneJayJackson]

Just relax, so he said something a little stupid, you've been together four years and you have a little girl! Surely that means something?

[DishLady]

First, if he is calling you "Ugly" then that is another issue. You need to sort this out. Really, therapy -- perhaps for both of you.

Next -- and more importantly -- the poor images you have of yourselves will end up having a negative effect on your daughter. You both owe it to her to go to therapy and sort out your issues of self-esteem and body image.

[LilPinkGirl]

I already go to therapy and have been for years I honestly don't ever think I will accept the way I look. My boyfriend is actually very good looking and confident, just says he's fat (gained thirty lbs he's lazy but is slowly working it off) I never mention my self hate around my.daughter I actually feel pretty around her (im not saying I'm pretty just feel it) because of things she tells me...she is only three and I take her opinions so much more to heart than anyones...shes so positive and confident :)

[DishLady]

It's not the words you say to her. Kids are VERY precocious. If she's saying things to build your confidence it's because she feels -- intuitively -- that her mommy needs it.

Nobody's perfect. It may be good for him to go to a few therapy sessions with you. He should be able to squeeze out an honest and positive comment about you at least occasionally.

[Taltos]

What? It's not like he was lying...

he was touchy feely about himself and felt he needed to express the truth...and he did.

And, anyways, I don't say stupid things like: ''you're the most beautiful woman in the world.'' crap.

Even if I was thinking it, I wouldn't say it.

It's too ''sappy'' for my taste.

[wivvygrace]

Girl, stop worrying about it!

My mom used to say "you'll never be the prettiest person in the world, and you'll never be the ugliest either." And it's true.

Soooo he told you you aren't hotter than Megan Fox, who the f*ck is? He also added himself in there. He certainly wasn't saying you're ugly. If he's with you, he obviously doesn't think that.

Forreal girl, chill. Most guys TELL their girlfriends that their the most beautiful person in the world without actually thinking it. Your guy was honest.

I guarantee he thinks your beautiful, inside and out, if he's with you. Stop worrying and being upset, it's FINE. You have no reason to be upset about this one.

[moaterboat]

I've never told a woman that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. That's just stupid. Granted, I wouldn't have said what he said, but instead of getting upset by his lack of romance, try to appreciate his forthright honesty.

[DishLady]

I agree with you. Unfortunately, girls like the gushy stuff every once in a while. It's one of the ironies of life. :-)

[Tentacle_Therapist]

He's right, though, lol. But you've got to realize that just because he can objectively realize that there are people way better looking than you, it doesn't mean he'd prefer them to you. He's just bein' honest.

[LilPinkGirl]

But I'm so tired of being the ugly girl...it sucks

[Tentacle_Therapist]

If you think that not being the most beautiful girl in the world = ugly, then you got issues, yo.

[LilPinkGirl]

I just want to be pretty enough for the guy I'm with to at least humor by saying it

[Tentacle_Therapist]

Tell him you'd prefer it if he lied to you about your appearance, then. :B

[LilPinkGirl]

Well id rather him lie , the truth hurts...my ex use to tell me I'm "all right" and said I needed a nose job and my nickname was jabba. Yeah...id rather him lie. The truth sometimes is just too much...

[Julia_Dorst]

Slap him! And then tell him what hurt you, just explain. after such a long time together he'll understand!

[mjmlag]

Well, even with the most attractive girls, there will always be someone better looking then them. Your very attractive, I don't think he meant it as an insult either. Just try and forget it.

[05Jueey]

Well I think its important that he's honest but that was so uneccesary! You have a right to be upset

[redheadvixen]

your husband sounds insecure... smh you deserve to be with a guy who thinks your the most beautifull