Should your boyfriend think you're the most beautiful girl in the world?

Question

So my boyfriend basically said (when I was being insecure) that I am "better than average". I really thought about his words & it kind of hurt my feelings. We got into a fight because I feel like (maybe I'm kidding myself) that if a guy really loves a girl, he will see her as the most beautiful girl in the world.

So he basically admitted that yes he thought there were others prettier than me and tried to pull the "well do you think I'm the best looking guy in the world"? Which I think he is so I was even more humiliated. For example, my dad has said that my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world to him Am I just being unreasonable and psychotic? Would other girls be hurt too?

Cause I'm more hurt and like wondering "Do I wanna be with a guy who feels this way about me?". I know the whole "there's always someone prettier than you" and I definitely don't think I'm all that - I just thought that if you're really in love with someone, you don't even see anyone else. That's how I am. Maybe I've been watching too many romantic comedies...

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

It's an unfair and unrealistic standard to expect that your partner thinks that - because appearance, while to some extent subjective, still has a pretty well established cultural standard that you can't ignore.

For men who say stuff like "you're the most beautiful woman in the world to me", they aren't REALLY talking about physical appearance - they're talking about the MENTAL IMPRESSION they have of that person - which includes his opinion of her "soul" and her personality and all of that. But men who say that stuff are men who are *overly romantic* - and most men just aren't that way.

Most men are much more logical and straightforward. If you asked him how he FELT about you, you'd get the answer you wanted, but when you ask him "am I the most beautiful woman in the world to you", well, unless you're a Victoria's Secret model or something, you probably aren't (and I don't have any idea what you look like myself - I'm just saying). You essentially laid a trap for him where he could either lie (which, in a sense, is what an overly-romantic guy would do), or he tells the truth and you hate him for it. That's just WRONG.

You need to learn that you shouldn't ask questions that you aren't likely to like the answers to, and you can't hold the truth against a man when you know damn well it's the truth.

Obviously he finds you beautiful and attractive - he wouldn't be with you in the first place if he didn't - and obviously he is further attracted to your personality and values and so on - your "soul" - but unless 99 out of 100 random people are likely to choose you as the most beautiful person in the world, you probably shouldn't ask your boyfriend if you are - unless, maybe, he's a gushy, overly-romantic guy.

Kkaos · Accepted Answer

I liken this to my car. And no, girls I'm not saying you're a trophy like a car may be, but hear me out.

When I didn't have a car, I was looking at every car there was and comparing. But now I've got my car, I don't look at other cars now, I'm perfectly happy with my car. My car was the car that happened to cross my path when I needed a car and ever since then we've shared so many memories together and it's simply irreplaceable. I sometimes just stare at it for ages during the evening when the setting sun hits it just right, it's so damn beautiful. Of course it may no have the verve or look as exotic as a Ferrari, there may be others cars that could be better... But I. Don't. Care. If you asked me if I wanted to replace it with a Ferrari right now, call me crazy, I'd decline. I can buy a Ferrari some day if I want one, I can't buy the memories that I've shared with this car.

Yeah, I know it sounds pretty crazy talking about a car in that way. (I love cars), but I love my girlfriend more and it's a similar case with her but to a greater extent.

xHoneyxBeex · Accepted Answer

That's pretty unrealistic in my opinion. Your boyfriend obviously finds you attractive and loves you or else he wouldn't be with you in the first place. So why ask him questions like this? It's basically setting him up to fail. Yes, he could have worded his response better but chances are, you are not the most attractive girl in the world. Of course he can still think that you are attractive but to ask a loaded question like "am I the MOST attractive in the world?" is putting him in a situation where he either has to lie or be honest and risk hurting your feelings.

I don't know about you but I would rather my boyfriend be honest with me than lie to spare my feelings, which is exactly why I wouldn't ask him a question like that in the first place. A basic rule of life is not to ask questions you don't want the answers to. Getting into a relationship doesn't magically mean you stop finding other people attractive and it's extremely unrealistic to think that way. That doesn't mean he wants to be with other people though. He's with YOU for a reason.

If you are insecure, that is something you need to work on. It's okay to want reassurance that your partner finds you attractive but you can't rely on solely him to fix your self-esteem. That's something that comes from within. Maybe you should take a step back and focus on yourself right now, do some self-reflection and think about WHY you feel this way. If you want to have a successful relationship with ANYONE (because I guarantee you, it probably wouldn't be any different if you were with someone else), you will need to work on your insecurity issues.

Glittergirl4 · Accepted Answer

I personally think that, if two people truly love each other, they will think they are the best looking out of everybody. That isn't because of looks though, it is because of being personally connected to someone on such a level that no other person can match it. And in turn, that beautiful emotional connection makes that special person that you love look way more attractive than anybody else. Think about this: my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and he has told me that I am the most beautiful woman to him and I have told him that he is the most handsome man to me. That is because of the strong connection we have. Now he does find other women attractive and I find other men attractive; that's normal. Of course when he tells me that another woman is pretty it bothers me a bit and when I tell him a guy is cute it bothers him a little bit too. This is natural as well as long as it isn't affecting your self-esteem or your relationship. Now, for me, I can say that no my boyfriend is definitely not the most attractive guy in the world, but he is to me. And my boyfriend probably feels the same towards me. There are guys I have seen that I know are more attractive than my boyfriend if compared by physical appearance, and I recognize that. But I can still say that my boyfriend is the most attractive to me because of his personality. If a person isn't telling their partner that they are the most attractive, then either they don't love them or they are pretty shallow. If physical appearance is that important to someone, they are going to have a pretty miserable life because beauty is fleeting.

lumos · Accepted Answer

I'm sure he could have handled that better but I also think you're being a bit unreasonable. You should always be the most ATTRACTIVE person to your partner, in the sense that *you* are the one they love and want to focus on the most. That's it. Objectively there always will be someone that people think is hotter than you, and that's ok. Your boyfriend still has a pair of functioning eyes; you being a couple doesn't change that.
I think he should work on communicating his thoughts a bit better with you, he can be honest and gentle at the same time. And you need to sort out your insecurities and stop cornering your boyfriend like this with tricky questions that just won't end well.
Even if you think one thing about romance, it doesn't mean everyone else will think the same or that they're bad people for it. You simply have different outlooks and that's perfectly fine. The real questions should ALWAYS BE:
- Is he treating you well?
- Does he love you?
- Does he prioritize you?
(And you should also ask yourself the same questions obviously).
At the end of the day it doesn't matter if he thinks you could win Miss Universe every single day. What matters is that he loves you, wants to be with you and treats you right. Don't focus so much on looks and make it seem like his love is purely based on that, because that's very shallow.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

Well your boyfriend is definitely not the brightest kinda guy, and what he said was in no way necessary nor pleasant to hear.

However.. I think it'd be a bit idealistic to demand that, just because you're dating, your s/o must find you to be the most beautiful. I mean, I'd like to think that, while it's of course important that there be some level of physical attraction, that my boyfriend is with me not primarily because of that, but for less superficial reasons like who I am as a person, and how I make him feel on an emotional/mental level. Which sounds like would go right in line with what your dad said, which I'm sure he in no way meant literally.

Physical attraction goes much deeper than being purely physical. Your dad loves your mom, so by proxy, she'll be even more physically 'beautiful' to him. (apply the same principle to your boyfriend. and let him know that you'd appreciate if he cuts out making further comments similar to what he told you about being 'better than average'.)
🤦

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. "I just want a man who is honest!" That is what ALL women say.

2. If your profile picture is you, you are a very pretty woman, but you are not the most beautiful girl in the world.

3. Do you want him to love you for who you really are or for some distorted and glorified image that he has in his head?

4. And you would be happy if he lied to you?

AshrafWest · Answer

Well, see he should not think you are Miss Universe, but you should be the most beautiful woman to him. Like you could have a daughter, though she might not be the most beautiful daughter based on fact, in you eyes she would outshine diamonds ♦

So , ask yourself how long have you been together , maybe he is not there yet in the relationship , which is not wrong because there is no such thing as love at first sight, it take time to fall in love and the longer the deeper you fall in the ocean.

Now, should you be mad, yes and no. Yes that he should know that girls are paranoid about their looks (same way men are paranoid about their earning, like you could hurt his ffelings by telling him he is broke ), and No that let's face it you maybe be beautiful but I don't think the most beautiful in the world so as he might see you as that, someone in the street might think you are average and don't fight with your boyfriend about useless stuff otherwise your relationship is gonna end up bad

qwertyKitchen · Answer

Your dad knows very well that your mom isn't a model on a billboard and probably couldn't ever have been. But she's not a 2-D image, she's a person and he loves her body, her mind, her soul, her whole being. Taking all that into consideration is the only way to interpret your dad's assertion that she's the most beautiful woman in the world, and he's absolutely being truthful when he says it.

I know you understand all that. You're hurt because you want your guy to understand it without needing to explain it. But he's just a boneheaded guy who doesn't know any better than to be objective and literal when you express an insecurity. I can understand why you're upset.

Some people just don't have the emotional intelligence to get it. As disappointing as it is, you need to explain it. Communication is the only thing that can possibly fix this. If his response is to roll his eyes and make a comment about "female logic" or something like that, maybe you need a guy who's a little more mature and sensitive. But my hope for him and you is that he comes away from it having taken a big step toward being a better boyfriend.

lukeO · Answer

he should see you as the most beautiful girl in all ways; physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. but if you think of it this way, there will always be somebody prettier than you, and someone prettier than that person, and so on because that's just how the world is with people. i notice that with my girlfriend as well. i think she's the most beautiful girl ever mentally, emotionally, and physically. but there will be the odd time that i'll see a girl in a store who's just as physically appealing/attractive as her. i catch my girlfriend doing that too. sometimes we joke around with it because it's fun to do that. we could be walking around town for something to do and then ill see a girl who's just as beautiful and say "look at the girl over there" and then she'll say something like "but she's not as attractive as me or else you'd leave me because...". sometimes she'll point out and say "hey look at that guy of attraction over there", then i'll kinda laugh and say something back to her in a playful way. don't take it too personally or else you could end up with a relationship that could come to an end :)

btbc92 · Answer

I don't think men or women should be asking that question. You're not being unreasonable. And yes, other girls would be hurt. I just say too many guys are being jerks and trying to rationalize everything. This is something you need which is words of affirmation. If he doesn't see you as somebody he likes and is attracted to you to the point that he doesn't care if other look more attractive than you, then it says a lot about him. Sure you notice people. But his focus should be on you. It's not unrealistic.

samhradh_leannan · Answer

I tend to think the way you do. I think that when you're really in love with someone, then they become the most attractive person in your eyes. However, I actively distinguish between what is objectively or conventionally attractive, and what is attractive "to me". From an objective standpoint, my boyfriend is certainly not the most attractive person in the world. I'm aware of that, because I have eyes, and I know what our society generally considers attractive. But TO ME, he is the sexiest being to walk the earth. And I want to be with a guy who sees me that way too. He doesn't have to believe that I am the most conventionally attractive person in the world. But I want him to think that I'm the most attractive person TO HIM.

fabulouspancakes · Answer

There was a similar question a while back, don't know if this is the same person or not... but...
in my opinion that's not something you say to someone you love. While he shouldn't have to lie and say you're objectively the most physically attractive woman he's ever seen, you should be beautiful to him if he's actually in love with you. He could be trying to put you down, he could have low emotional intelligence, or he could just not feel the same way about you as you do him. Does he often say things that belittle you or make you feel less sure of yourself? If so, you will be much better off without him.

Ephemera1 · Answer

Should your boyfriend? No.
Should the man that truly loves you? Yes.

There's no one I've ever found so attractive in my life and I doubt I'll find anyone as beautiful as her. She IS the most beautiful girl in the world to me. I can't even look at anyone else.

Mikhania · Answer

I know how you feel. For me, i don't need my S. O to declare that i am the most beautiful girl because i know it's a lie. I mean, there are lot of supermodels and other women who prettier and else. What we, girls, need, sometimes, just someone who will treat us like we are the one, so we don't feel the need to want him say we are the most beautiful girl.

But, i still think it's disrespectful for our S. O find other girls more beautiful and say it to us out loud. Like, if you know that your S. O kind of insecure or don't feel as pretty as you think, you should remind her that she's worth it. At least, just make her feel good about herself and never asking if she's pretty enough for you.

It's rare guys like that, i admit.

slatyb · Answer

Maybe you have been watching too many romantic comedies. Your boyfriend could be more tactful, but he's being honest. My wife looks great but I still see beauty in other women. She doesn't need me to tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world, it's enough for me to tell her she looks great. She tells me the same thing but neither of us is physically perfect. In a way my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world because I wouldn't give up my life with her for a beautiful stranger.

I think the important questions are "Does you boyfriend appreciate you? Does he make you feel confident about yourself?"

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

Yeah that would hurt my feelings a bit. Sure there are other attractive men and women, but at the same time it it kinda makes me think/feel.. if you think there's prettier then why heck you with me. He fucked up by saying this cause now it's making you feel like he's settling..

Warmapplecrumble · Answer

Okay just for you @IcePrincess97

I asked my boyfriend "Am I the most beautiful girl in the world?"

His reply was "yes"

I proceeded to ask him why, and he replied

"Cause you are beautiful in every single way. The way you look, the way you care for me, the way you speak and the things you do xxx"

I think your boyfriend is just comparing looks, but if compares everything else then you truly should be the most beautiful woman to him.

I think the question should be more like

"Am I the most beautiful person in the world, physically, mentally, emotionally to you?"

If his reply is no, then definitely I would think something isn't right or

the relationship is not that strong due to the length of the relationship.

Schrodingerscat · Answer

There's no such thing as most beautiful woman.

I like a guy and objectively speaking, there are more handsome guys out there but I think of only HIM. Like, the celebrity crush I used to have is still attractive but I'm not *attracted* attracted to him. I expect same from my guy. He can sure appreciate beauty of other ladies but I would want that he's actually attracted to only me.

Sure, he was being honest when he said "better than average". But he could have been more tactful about it. If it's you in your picture, you are definitely beautiful. But not most beautiful.

Correct thing to say would be "you are not most beautiful but you are most beautiful woman for *me* " or "you are beautiful".

MidnightThoughts · Answer

The fact that he acknowledges that there other pretty girls or even prettier is ok. Obviously there are millions of people in the world that will always look prettier than you or him. But I think what hurts you the most is the way he compared you to other girls. He should've said simply "I think you're beautiful". He didn't choose the right words to make you feel good, but he probably didn't really meant to hurt you and didn't thought about it in that way.
The most important thing is for you to be the one that he desires and wants to be with, which I'm sure you are.
Try to talk with him, explain your feelings without blaming him. I'm sure he will realize why you acted that way and will feel sorry.

xxALESIAxx · Answer

Unrealistic. Of course your boyfriend is going to find Meghan Fox or whoever else to be hotter than you, does that mean they want to be with that person? no! This is where security in yourself and the relationship comes into play. My boyfriend lives right off the coast and works as a surf instructor meaning he sees hundreds of nearly naked women with AMAZING bodies every single day. And I'm sure 80% of those women look better than me by heaps and bounds. But I trust my boyfriend, I trust that his eyes may wonder but he won't ever act on it. I only have eyes for my boyfriend but I and many other women would be lying if we said we didn't gawk over an extremely attractive guy we saw shirtless on television. But no matter how attractive those other guys are, my boyfriend is the only one I'd lay down and have sex with and the only one I want to go home to and give all of my love. And I full trust that he feels the exact same way. Just work on the trust :)

nowhere_dani · Answer

I have to admit that I'd feel a little hurt by it -- but, at the same time, I do realize I'm obviously not the most beautiful girl for him. It's my way of being realistic with myself and coming to terms with the truth. There are always going to be beautiful, above average, sexy women out there who catch his eye. And how can I blame him? Even in my current relationship, I see the Instagram posts my SO likes of half naked women with their hourglass figures and pretty faces. I just avoid asking my boyfriend these types of questions because it fucks with my esteem -- but also because he's with me for a reason and I have to love and trust him enough to believe it.

dipta · Answer

I don't know if you're the same person who asked a very similar question last week.
Personally, I don't need to believe he finds me the most beautiful girl in the world because I know myself that I am not - which is of course a long way of thinking I am not beautiful at all.
Maybe you will make peaces with that concept when you are older yourself and are not reaching for the world anymore but anyway, I think you just have different ways of thinking: he is just being realistic while you want him to be romantic.
(Your father is probably a romantic?)
It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker per se, but that is up to you.

RasmusAiken · Answer

My girl repeatedly asks me why I love her. I have no other answer than "I just do." That's my answer. If I told her I loved her for her plump perky 34C boobs (they are beyond awesome) and one day she got breast cancer and lost one or both would I stop loving her? Absolutely not.
Even if you were today's most beautiful woman in the world I can guarantee you won't stay that way. Be thankful he's not fixated on your looks.

idiotmanchild · Answer

Physically, no, but yes when it comes to the entire package, assuming he's a keeper. Physically there will almost always be someone more attractive than you in one way or another, there's no way to get around it. However, someone that truly loves you and is worth your time as a boyfriend or girlfriend should theoretically consider you the most beautiful person in the world because of who you are rather than just singularly how you look.

DairyCow · Answer

Oh gosh, I went through the exact same thing with my now husband. I know exactly how you feel and it really, really hurts. You wonder how other women can be so cool with the truth, but it is the truth. Your true life partner could never love someone as much as you, but he can be sexually attracted to other women. I know, it burns. To men, sexual attraction and love are two different baskets.
I've turned my husband into such a yes man due to my insecurities. Now, when I want honest opinions on my physical appearance he's too scared to be honest. I could gain 100kg and wear a potato sack and he'll just stand there fussing over how beautiful I am. But I want honesty. I want to know what he's really attracted to. When I ask him what sorts of girls he checks out, he just says girls that look like me. It's bloody frustrating.

Should your boyfriend think you're the most beautiful girl in the world?

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