Is self-deprecation attractive?

[OddBeMe]

It’s not self-defecating…as I first thought. See what I did there?

Yes

No

[mobiusforniner]

When used in light jest, yes. It shows you’re not perfect, you recognize your flaws and more importantly you’re comfortable admitting them. In the professional setting I sometimes openly share my biggest career errors with junior employees to help them know it’s okay to make mistakes, so long as we learn and grow from them And this very attitude is what makes a good leader

But using self depreciation as a way of garnering attention is very UNattractive. Like the chronic “I suck” or “I’m never good enough”. It demonstrates needy attention and low self esteem

[dynamicyandere]

It depends on the execution.


If it comes off as woe-is-me or if it comes off as lacking confidence, it can be a big turn off.


BUT.


If it’s done intermittently, with confidence and bravado, it can actually highlight your confidence by showing others that you own your shortcomings and your shortcomings hold no power over you.


You can show that you can take hits and not flinch. You’re confident enough to not constantly try to get everyone to take you seriously.


You can take a self-deprecating joke and shrug it off like water off a duck’s back.


That is attractive.


So, it’s all about execution — not what you do, but how you do it.

[dynamicyandere]

If you can’t take a joke — or don’t know how to banter back, it shows a lack of confidence and rizz.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think this sums it up better than I could.

[dynamicyandere]

@BoopBoopBeep Thanks for the kind words. ☺️

[AaronKrieger]

When it's balanced. Same case for when I'll shit on my friends with jokes, since I balance it out by also making jokes that compliments them.

[OddBeMe]

Oh yeah. Like fat people and fat jokes, no no. You joke about non existent things.

[goaded]

You can never have enough of a good man.

[OddBeMe]

@goaded shove it Kraut!

See I know Goad isn’t German, so it’s ok. And not a joke, really.

[Bricealan]

Starting a new job at Boeing, I had been im aerospace manufacturing for some time, and knew 'processing'... One of the guys asked me a question about how to shape a certain part and I told him what needed to be done.

He asked: "How did you know that?

I said: Hey Dennis, I'm not as stupid as I look" !

He replied: "Ya couldn't be"!

EVERY day after that the whole crew came by and asked to to go to lunch with them.

[SotiCoto]

I wouldn't say it matters to me. Positive or Negative value judgements aren't important. What is important is honesty and self-awareness. If what you call "self-deprecation" is an honest self-assessment then it is fine. If it is false modesty then it is annoying.

[molonski2]

Its actually extremely damaging to oneself. Far far from attractive.

[JacobJordan]

Uh real quick. Self-defecating is not a thing. As defecating is an implied self action... of pooping... did you mean to put that?

[msc545]

It is not, but it beats self-aggrandizement.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Which is all too common now a days..

[exitseven]

I do it a lot and women can't keep their hands off me

[RedInnocent68]

Sometimes. It demonstrates you’re not a narcissistic asshole.

[BryanMoore]

it can be endearing, yeah. but there's a limit.

[Tomisworthless]

People like to insult me but if i do it to myself then they insult me for that too

[KrakenAttackin]

Self defecating? I'm self defecating...

[Joker_]

unattractive