Do you think being really attractive can actually be harder?

"I know this is going to get hate and be controversial, but I hope people try to read this with an open mind.

People always talk about how much harder life is for unattractive people, but in some ways I feel like my life is so much more complicated because I'm considered really pretty.

Here's why:

Other Girls

Girls are more prone to be catty and mean to girls they feel threatened by. I have frequently been denied jobs I was overqualified for because the interviewer was a less attractive female that obviously disliked me. Once I even put in an application at a business and I sensed the girl I gave it to was intimidated by me/didn't like me... when I checked back with another employee about my application she had to look for it and it turns out it had been stashed away(hidden) on purpose.

Guys -

Most guys are using you like a trophy and never really even give you a chance because they chock all your value up to your looks alone.

Lots of guys want to sleep with me but they don't think of me like relationship material.

Guys stare alot, but because the nice guys are usually scared .. only the douchebags ever approach...which has given me a horrendous dating history with guys who simply wanted to hurt/use me.

Guys shout lewd/vulgar things ALL the time

Alot of guys don't want to feel like a "pretty" girl is getting one over on them so they are actually meaner to me than I think they would be to a more homely girl.

Other people-

People automatically assume I'm vain and base most of my value in my looks.

I feel like people think I'm less kind/sweet or caring because of my appearance.

My complex -

I can never talk about how people treat my looks with my friends or family because it makes me sounds vain.

Because I feel like everyone places my value solely on my makes me feel like that's all I'm worth. Therefore if I have an "ugly" day I instantly feel I'm worth nothing.

I'm shyer because I'm afraid of being used like I have in the past.

Now being attractive does have it benefits in that I know I sometimes get favors/etc. and I'm definitely not saying I have a deep desire to be extremely disfigured, but it certainly does have its disadvantages.

How do you feel about this?"


Most Helpful Girl

  • I used to weigh 215 pounds and was quite unhealthy and unattractive.

    Now I weigh 140 and people always tell me I'm beautiful.

    As a pretty girl in the sciences, I have to constantly prove that I'm not an idiot and that I actually deserve to be there. I didn't have to before.

    • And yes to all of your other comments. I am now (or so it seems) solely judged on my looks and nothing else. Everything you said applies where as it didn't before.

    • Omg...This is me exactly! I went from being 225 to 135-140 and my life changed completely. People went from treating me like a sweet nice girl to a threat and in turn I became jaded and hard.

    • People are a**holes!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I think you are used to being a "victim" and enjoy the comfort of feeling sorry for yourself. If you are blessed with looks you should be grateful for that. I am sure that there are some people that do not take you serious and that there are guys that just want you for sex, but state of mind is really key. If you think everyone out there is ready to screw you over then they will. I am OK looking and would never want to be ugly.

  • Attractive people have it easier, it's been proven. Try being an ugly girl and getting no attention from anyone at all, it's a lonely existence.

  • I think you're spot on correct.

  • For guys it's definitely true. Women assume a guy with a baby face and a confident manner about him is a huge player. I've actually only had one long-term girlfriend and slept with that girl. But even my female friends joke that I must be really good at hiding that I'm a player. Honestly it irritates me

  • To quote rocky, 'Life ain't all sunshine and rainbows, its a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.''

    I've felt like yo have before, my life is not and never has been and hopefully won't ever be as hard as yours is now, so I can't really compare however, you say you are the family rock, you keep them all together, your suffering but not in vain, your suffering is keeping the thin thread of your family together, that should be reason enough not to give up.

    Right now your losing everything, from your friends to your family such as your dad to alcohol, your losing your dignity, even your soul is taking flight from everything.

    There is a film called 'Goemon' this one scene when the young Goemon is taken from his home by an old servant while his family are being killed, and in some woods at night a group of bandits kill the old women but are like wise killed by a samurai warlord, he approaches the young Goemon and says:

    ''Get strong kid, then nobody can take anything away from you again.''

    So get strong.

    How do yo get strong ? That's for you to decide, you know yourself, what your good at, what you can do in the world to get strong and in a position where nothing is taken from you other than the things we have no hand in.

    • I really shouldn't multi tab, sorry report this answer, meant for another question.

What Girls Said 6

  • I don't think you're the slightest bit vain, I think you've thought about this from all angles, and that's very admirable. I've thought about it too. I think the being attractive/unattractive debate is kinda like the girls VS boys debate. Is it harder to be a male or female? Is it harder to be "attractive" or "unattractive"? Everyone's got their own opinion. Like yourself, I've examined this issue from all perspectives. While I don't like the hassles of being pretty, I realize that in a lot of ways I do indeed have it easier in some ways. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, I just wish everyone could see things like we do, and understand not only their problems, but the problems that those on the other side face.

  • You have it right- guys are too imtimdated to approach me usually or they assume I have a boyfriend.

    Guys also treat me as if I can't do anything myself- like I can't open a pasta sauce jar alone on the first try

    Not saying attractive people have it the hardest but when it comes down to it I think average people haveit the easiest

    A guy friend who is very handsome says he doesn't date really pretty girls anymore because he says he couldn't trust beautiful girls on the sole fact that since they ate beautiful they might be able to cheat easier because more guys approach them(the douches) so he only dates average girls because since he is out of their league they feel lucky to be with him and are less likely to cheat. I realize that it might just be my friend who foes that but it just an example of how there is a bias that attractive people are fickle and untrustworthy

  • I think both the attractive and the less attractive

    people has their own hardships. =)

  • i still think attractive people have it easier.

  • :) I think you made a lot of good points there. I guess there's good and bad in everything in life, whether you're "attractive" or not.

  • I agree. This can this describe my dating life. Dbags are the only ones I get. Now I recognize and avoid them. Some are pretty crafty I admit. So I am dateless most of the time. Lol


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