Height entitlement, what do you think?

[DutchAtheist]

I'm seeing a girl at the moment. There's a huge height difference between the two of us: 18 inches (yeah well, she's born in the Philippines and I'm Dutch so go figure).

Anyway, I was trying to look up celebrity height differences for fun so I could tell her about it (typed in "tall men dating short women") and stumbled on a vast number of discussions started by short men and tall women complaining about tall men dating short women.

Seems there is a lot of frustration and entitlement regarding that topic. Both short men and tall women felt like they were robbed of "their" dating pool. In an ironic twist of reasoning they even blamed tall men and short women for being shallow and fixated on height (whilst admitting they wouldn't date outside their own height requirements themselves). And of course the words "self hate" were thrown about.

I was surprised by all of this and wondered what you guys think about all of this?

[worzt]

I dare say 8 out of 10 times I have heard someone ask a girl "honestly physically wise, how do you like your males?", TALL is the FIRST thing they mention, forget handsome or ripped, tall comes first, so I honestly can not picture them girls complaining about it.

NOW, my mom and my dad have a difference of about 15 inches so they may know how you feel, but, they both LOVE it and people seem to find it sweet looking.

personal experinece, I am way more like my mom, I am on the short side (average still but most of my male friends are one inch taller and I can not think of 5 who are shorter than me), I honestly, sometimes INDEED felt like my "pool" was restrincted, mostly on my teens, but it kind of was all in my mind, save 2 girls, all women I have dated have been taller than me (which is weird since, while I am not among the tallest guys, it is certainly hard to find GIRLS who are taller than me, average girl is is stoll naturally shorter, so I haveactually atracted girls that, on female standards may be like you or my dad on male standards), most of them have been just a LITTLE taller, or even 4 inches taller, and while I felt weird at first, now I am totally used and even ENJOY that, and even if, SURELY a lot of them may also be on the "tall is the first thing I mention" team, still, in practice, they had not mind at all.

now the other side of the coin, my best friend is a girl, and she is the tallest girl I know, like 10 inches taller than me, and of course, taller than MOSTguys, certainly everyone who is average height is below hers, and he is gratefull I do not mind the difference (even though some people LAUGH at us when we are out there just the 2 (GRANTED they are laughing at me, and I just think "jealous much?" and luagh back, but she FEELS they laugh at HER) and well, at 21 she has NEVER had a boyfriend, last year she actually went for it and asked on a date the one guy who happen to be both nice and "tall enough" they were virtually the same height, and the guy still decline and went to say "I think you are too tall for me", now, it was not a excuse, at least I believe it was not, my friend has done some modeling, she is above average in looks as she is in height and REALLY a sweet girl. but I think when it comes to tall girls a a LOT of guys are truly intimidated, so now I have changed my views, I used to believe height was a big deal for girls, now I KNOW is not that big of a deal (even when they CLAIM they would not date a short guy), but it appears to be a real impediment for guys, like seriously, BEAUTIFUL girl ASKS you out and you decline? I understand "I like her but she is too tall, she surely would laugh at me if I ask her" but whe tall girl says "I have no problem with you height" what is it to feel threaten for?

[RedThread]

It's just jealousy run rampant. People don't like to consider they maybe lower on the totem pole of desirability just for something they were born with. It sucks but that's life. We all have things that aren't mainstream whether it be physical or mental but at the end of the day you have to be confident with what you have or else you'll always be miserable.

Height is one of those things I've never had problems with seeing as I'm around 6'5". Do I think that girls have given me attention solely because of my height and how our society translates size into strength? Yes and as such I've used it as an asset but we all have assets that we can use to increase our desirability. There are men who are taller than me, smarter than me, richer than me, better looking than me, etc (I'd like to think maybe not all at the same time.. lol). There will always be someone higher on the totem pole than ourselves. Most of us don't complain and worry about that because that is life. What we must always do is play to our strengths and behave confidently because that goes a LONG way.

[RosaliaVanderbilt]

This is very common! I'm 5'3'' (so not huge but probably not as small as your philippina girlfriend), and I've only ever really dated tall guys. You would not believe the lectures I get from my 5'9'' and up girlfriends! They say it in a joking way, but you can tell there's some seriousness -- like "wow Rose, thanks for stealing all the tall ones! Leave some for the tall girls won't you." And I find it exceedingly annoying.

Then conversely you have these really short guys (no offense to any short men but I'm usually not attracted to really short men), and they seem to think that just because they're taller than me they're automatically on an equal playing field with someone tall (like 5'11'' - over 6'0'').

People have preferences, it doesn't matter how practical they are! there's my rant.

[Beatrice16]

18 inches? Wow, that's almost half a meter... I would like to see you two side by side...

I find tall guys more attractive, I feel that height in men is a matter of virility (yeah, I know it sounds stupid). Even though I'm quite tall myself(1.70 m ) I like tall guys (at least 15 cm taller than me), and to be honest I don't think I would date short men, for me it's a turn off.

But anyway, I don't think men would reject a women only because of height or vice versa.

[pickledxtofu]

Short guys and tall girls complain about that on this website a lot.

It's weird how they think it's OK for them to have preferences but others aren't supposed to. Like you're upset that short girls want tall guys because you prefer short girls. But those short girls aren't suppose to prefer tall guys...

No one likes feeling less than desirable. That's why fat women, black women and skinny guys complain.

[pickledxtofu]

Why am I getting a downvote? It's the truth. It's the same reason ugly people will complain about being ugly.

[RavJ1234]

You're getting down voted because your think black women, skinny guys and "fat" women are less desirable than others.

[Theguyoverthere]

They are less desired.

[Anonymous]

The only people who this affects in a bad way is short guys. I'm a short guy myself so I have experienced this first hand. Thing is, tall women are not being robbed of their dating pool. They don't want to date short guys so they are stuck. If they wanted to date short guys they would not be stuck. Short guys (not all) are fine with dating taller girls. I would be more then open to dating a tall girl. But if they don't want to date short guys then they can't complain. Their insecurities are what is making them not being able to date. Plus, there are plenty of guys who love tall girls. Short guys, average height guys, and tall guys all love tall women. But only a small percentage of girls will want to date a guy who is short. On top of that, if short girls (even if they are shorter than the guy) don't want to date a short guy then it doesn't look promising at all.

You can even look at this question alone to see evidence. You have two girls who answered on here, one is 4'11'' and the other is 5'3'', yet neither of them are willing to date short guys. Heck, even the girl who is 4'11'' won't date a guy who is shorter than 5'11''. Now of course, she is entitled to her preferences. But if a girl who isn't even 5 foot won't even date a guy who is between 5'4'' - 5'10'' then you really do wonder which girls will accept a short guy.

Side note: short guys and tall girls are not in the same boat! Many guys love tall girls but hardly any girls will even look at short guys.

[Theguyoverthere]

Well people have entitlement issues everywhere. Height's just one of them. If you meet some couples out there, there are girls dating shorter guys and so on. Problem I see is most guys just look for an excuse, so if a girl turns down a shorter guy, suddenly "Why do girls always go for taller guys?" Then I'll go out and see a girl dating a shorter guy.

I wouldn't mind dating a taller girl. Sometimes sex with shorter girls feels odd. I go missionary and her head is practically under my chest.

Shallow though is something everyone gets accused of. Guys chase good looking girls all the time and ignore less attractive ones. Yet if those good looking girls turn down a guy who does nothing for his appearance, suddenly she's shallow for preferring a good looking guy. Yet if you tell the guy to go for a less attractive girl suddenly "We're not compatible."

[MaskofInsanity]

It's petty. I'm a tall chick and I'm happy dating someone my height or even slightly shorter. I don't think that limits my dating pool - there are LOTS of tall guys anyway. There are also lots of short girls.

People just need to respect other people's preferences. Yes, I do think some preferences are a bit silly, but it doesn't effect me so I don't really care.

[Anonymous]

I don't think they can hate on what others are attracted to. If a short girl is attracted to tall guys and vice versa then so be it. Why can't tall women date shorter men? Why can't short men date tall women? No one is robbing them of "their" dating pool. No one knows what "their" dating pool is personally. Honestly, in my opinion, they just need to let it be and let whatever height guy be with whatever height girl lol.

[AmyTran]

Weird. It's my first time hearing this. I always thought girls like taller guys!?! Or at least, it applies to me. I always date taller guys. I think it's cute and the guys seem pretty manly walking and hugging their petite girlfriends protectively. Just my opinion...

[lalalolita]

I think it's a personal preference. I'm fairly short and like tall guys. But it always boils down to personality.

[justclueless]

I'm 4'11" won't date anyone under 5'11. prefer over 6'1 though lol

[Tabra]

I don't really think much about height and requirements, I am short and my husband is 12 inches taller than me, doesn't bother me.

[Vandal]

I think short guys are pretty much doomed.

[Anonymous]

Why can't all heights be equal!? God.

[Anonymous]

I only date guys taller than me